Author Topic: Former students - Our worst experiences  (Read 8849 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2005, 12:36:00 AM »
Quote
Very few graduates of Hyde are able to go on to Law School.  Hyde's education is so poor that most kids are lucky to get into a Community College!


It sounds like you may be an administrator at Hyde with some inside information on real statistics.  Can you please share the numbers of actual students who go on to college?  I am confused by all the posts here and would like real facts.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2005, 08:25:00 AM »
Quote
On 2005-11-27 21:36:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote
Very few graduates of Hyde are able to go on to Law School.  Hyde's education is so poor that most kids are lucky to get into a Community College!



It sounds like you may be an administrator at Hyde with some inside information on real statistics.  Can you please share the numbers of actual students who go on to college?  I am confused by all the posts here and would like real facts."


I don't think it's accurate to say that most Hyde kids are lucky to get into a community college.  I am not a Hyde supporter and, in fact, would never encourage a parent to refer their kid to Hyde.  I think Hyde is a terribly harmful environment.

However, I think it's important to criticize the school fairly and not exaggerate.  My impression, based on several years' experience with Hyde, is that many of its GRADUATES do get accepted to 4-year colleges.  What happens to these students once they get to college is unclear to me; I have no idea how successful they are or aren't.

But, note that I say that most Hyde GRADUATES seem to get accepted to 4-year colleges.  There's lots of evidence that most students who enroll at Hyde don't finish their high school education at Hyde (I challenge any Hyde administrator who's reading this to refute that assertion).  The drop-out rate from Hyde (kids that get kicked out of Hyde, run from Hyde, or transfer to some other school or program) is very large.  So, a more accurate way to put this is that from all evidence most of the students who start at Hyde don't graduate from Hyde and go on to 4-year colleges from Hyde.  

It would be very interesting to analyze the characteristics of the students who actually graduate from Hyde.  What percentage of these are children of faculty and staff, rather than the more typical Hyde kid who enters with major emotional and behavioral issues?  What percentage are siblings of other Hyde kids, where the first one had major issues but the second one didn't?  What percentage of Hyde's graduates are truly "turn around" kids who entered the school (as the vast majority of Hyde students do) with major attitude, behavioral, and mental health issues?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #17 on: December 09, 2005, 05:03:00 PM »
If a kid doesn't graduate from Hyde, then why would you include those college statistics?  Am I missing something?  Why would Hyde be responsible for the performance of non-graduates?  A more interesting statistic might be the number of kids who begin at four-year institutions but drop out.  Would those statistics be very different from that of another boarding school with a similar student body?

If we acknowledge that there is a significant number of kids who can and do academically after Hyde, then is it really fair to say that a good education isn't accessible there?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #18 on: December 09, 2005, 09:41:00 PM »
Makes you think, doesn't it?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #19 on: December 10, 2005, 09:52:00 AM »
Quoted by Lars

"I forgot to put in a previous post that prior to joining the public defender's office, I spent a year working in a law firm that specialized in personal injury & medical malpractice. The guys I worked for were assholes, but it was a high powered practice and I learned quite a bit about nasty civil litigation. Frankly, I think that Hyde is very lucky that it haven't gotten nailed in a lawsuit. However, what you need to go forward with one is serious injury or death. If some kid gets killed or kills him or herself there they could be in very big trouble. I suspect they keep a very large liability policy just in case. I believe that they have been extraordinarily negligent over the years. I mean punitive damages kind of negligent (and those are rarely awarded, despite what the tort reform people will tell you). But so far as we know, they've been lucky."


Lars, Is it possible for a group of parents to file a class action suit against Hyde based on the monies they take and refuse to refund when a student and family is forced to leave for various reasons.  I know this is a question that depends on many variables, but just curious.

It is a fact that Hyde keeps the entire tuition, ($35,000) after a family has been forced out or have made it impossible to continue at the school.  Seems like this is wrong.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Lars

  • Posts: 156
  • Karma: +1/-0
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #20 on: December 10, 2005, 11:10:00 AM »
Quote

Lars, Is it possible for a group of parents to file a class action suit against Hyde based on the monies they take and refuse to refund when a student and family is forced to leave for various reasons.  I know this is a question that depends on many variables, but just curious.



It is a fact that Hyde keeps the entire tuition, ($35,000) after a family has been forced out or have made it impossible to continue at the school.  Seems like this is wrong.  

"


I think the issue would be whether Hyde breached it's contract by forcing you out for improper reasons, then refusing to refund the tuition.  I'm sure they throw some clause into the contract regarding the non-refundability of tuition.  There may be other legal issues involved, most likely also of a contractual nature.  Consult a lawyer, one who has a lot of experience in contract litigation.  Often, a good place to get a referral is any lawyer you happen to know personally, even if they practice in a different area.  Most lawyers are very willing to make solid referrals to other lawyers who have more expertise in the area of law a prospective client's problem(s) involve (it pays off in the form of return referrals).  

As for a class action, that might not be viable (nor strategically sound) unless you have a very large number of similarly situated families.  Again, consult a lawyer.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #21 on: December 11, 2005, 09:24:00 PM »
Why do you think Hyde won't disclose how many actually graduate college??
Quote
On 2005-11-28 05:25:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2005-11-27 21:36:00, Anonymous wrote:


"
Quote
Very few graduates of Hyde are able to go on to Law School.  Hyde's education is so poor that most kids are lucky to get into a Community College!





It sounds like you may be an administrator at Hyde with some inside information on real statistics.  Can you please share the numbers of actual students who go on to college?  I am confused by all the posts here and would like real facts."




I don't think it's accurate to say that most Hyde kids are lucky to get into a community college.  I am not a Hyde supporter and, in fact, would never encourage a parent to refer their kid to Hyde.  I think Hyde is a terribly harmful environment.



However, I think it's important to criticize the school fairly and not exaggerate.  My impression, based on several years' experience with Hyde, is that many of its GRADUATES do get accepted to 4-year colleges.  What happens to these students once they get to college is unclear to me; I have no idea how successful they are or aren't.



But, note that I say that most Hyde GRADUATES seem to get accepted to 4-year colleges.  There's lots of evidence that most students who enroll at Hyde don't finish their high school education at Hyde (I challenge any Hyde administrator who's reading this to refute that assertion).  The drop-out rate from Hyde (kids that get kicked out of Hyde, run from Hyde, or transfer to some other school or program) is very large.  So, a more accurate way to put this is that from all evidence most of the students who start at Hyde don't graduate from Hyde and go on to 4-year colleges from Hyde.  



It would be very interesting to analyze the characteristics of the students who actually graduate from Hyde.  What percentage of these are children of faculty and staff, rather than the more typical Hyde kid who enters with major emotional and behavioral issues?  What percentage are siblings of other Hyde kids, where the first one had major issues but the second one didn't?  What percentage of Hyde's graduates are truly "turn around" kids who entered the school (as the vast majority of Hyde students do) with major attitude, behavioral, and mental health issues?"
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline fletch699

  • Posts: 23
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #22 on: June 19, 2006, 07:16:00 AM »
Like Lars, I graduated from high school in 1990 (but not from Hyde).  I only had one year there (my 8th grade year, so sorry Lars, we didn't overlap, but we probably have some mutual acquaintances).  I also went on to get my JD and I, in fact, specialize in contract issues.

I have never seen the contract (if any) that Hyde signs with parents.  I'm guessing that what is promised, if anything, is not results, but general statements on boarding/feeding/schooling, and probably not even a particular process (which would give Hyde the latitude they want).

As I've posted recently on another topic on this forum, I think that it is horrible that there are so many students/parents/staffers who have had totally awful Hyde experiences.  Hyde does not do their part to limit the incoming students to those that their true process might actually help - but instead seem to take all students, regardless of their underlying issues, apparently for the sake of the almighty dollar.

But, as I also previously said, if parents would not be looking for a place to dump their children... but would instead find the RIGHT place to get their child treatment (if necessary), or a swift kick in the pants (which is what I personally needed, and received, at Hyde) - then maybe some of these horror stories would subside.

Now, this isn't going to repair prior damage... and it's also not going to fix the problem of uneducated staff with respect to dealing with troubled teens (regardless of whether their issues are psychological or attitudinal).

I guess what I have not seen here, with minor exception, is a willingness for the former students (especially those with continued negative feelings about Hyde) to admit the real reasons why they were sent to Hyde.  I am not, in any way, a Hyde supporter (I have never given to the school in any way, nor do I provide any kind of volunteer support), mostly because of the problems I mentioned above.

However, I don't see a realization on the part of many former students that 1) their parents were trying to help them... and in that desperate attempt, found Hyde, and that 2) they DID, as students, NEED some sort of help for their problem(s) - whatever they were.

It took me many years to realize what my parents wanted/expected out of me... and when I did realize that they were looking for me to be the best I could be, and were willing to do whatever it took to get me to get there, I realized why they sent me to Hyde and what Hyde could have done for me (if it had been the place it had advertised itself to be).  So I don't hold my parents or Hyde to any kind of ill will or negative feelings.

But what keeps bothering me here is that I see dozens of posts (but they're all anonymous, so I can't even get a sense if it's the same person posting repetitively or if it's dozens of unique individuals - which leads me to want to say that they're probably all from a smaller group of repeating individuals).  And except for Lars, and a few others, I see no realization of any kind of responsibility for the actions that led to being sent to Hyde.

What that says to me, at least, is that you're looking for someone else to blame.  You're looking for an excuse.  And now you've found this board where you can at least find some sort of validation (again, the anonymity is nice, but it's also harmful) for your feelings.

No, I don't know what Hyde's college grad statistics are.  I don't know what their 5, 10 or 20 year post-Hyde stats are (ie: what is the avg income for a student 10 or 20 years out... or where are they now).  And I'm not sure that it matters, either.

To the best of my knowledge, Hyde never promises to "fix" the child.  Which means, that if the child fails in the future, it's still not Hyde's fault.  Nor is a child's success.  My subsequent degrees are NOT the result of a Hyde education.  They are the result of hard work, dedication and the realization that *I* am responsible for my own behavior (which IS a result of my attendance at Hyde).  So I don't credit Hyde with my successes or failures.  I credit Hyde with giving me the beginning to understanding myself.  And that's all they're entitled to.

So don't blame the school for your actions, if that's what this is about.  Don't blame the school for not being able to fix you - because they can't.  You have to fix you.  Or you at least have to find the right "help" to fix yourself.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #23 on: June 19, 2006, 05:02:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-06-19 04:16:00, fletch699 wrote:

"Like Lars, I graduated from high school in 1990 (but not from Hyde).  I only had one year there (my 8th grade year, so sorry Lars, we didn't overlap, but we probably have some mutual acquaintances).  I also went on to get my JD and I, in fact, specialize in contract issues.



I have never seen the contract (if any) that Hyde signs with parents.  I'm guessing that what is promised, if anything, is not results, but general statements on boarding/feeding/schooling, and probably not even a particular process (which would give Hyde the latitude they want).



As I've posted recently on another topic on this forum, I think that it is horrible that there are so many students/parents/staffers who have had totally awful Hyde experiences.  Hyde does not do their part to limit the incoming students to those that their true process might actually help - but instead seem to take all students, regardless of their underlying issues, apparently for the sake of the almighty dollar.



But, as I also previously said, if parents would not be looking for a place to dump their children... but would instead find the RIGHT place to get their child treatment (if necessary), or a swift kick in the pants (which is what I personally needed, and received, at Hyde) - then maybe some of these horror stories would subside.



Now, this isn't going to repair prior damage... and it's also not going to fix the problem of uneducated staff with respect to dealing with troubled teens (regardless of whether their issues are psychological or attitudinal).



I guess what I have not seen here, with minor exception, is a willingness for the former students (especially those with continued negative feelings about Hyde) to admit the real reasons why they were sent to Hyde.  I am not, in any way, a Hyde supporter (I have never given to the school in any way, nor do I provide any kind of volunteer support), mostly because of the problems I mentioned above.



However, I don't see a realization on the part of many former students that 1) their parents were trying to help them... and in that desperate attempt, found Hyde, and that 2) they DID, as students, NEED some sort of help for their problem(s) - whatever they were.



It took me many years to realize what my parents wanted/expected out of me... and when I did realize that they were looking for me to be the best I could be, and were willing to do whatever it took to get me to get there, I realized why they sent me to Hyde and what Hyde could have done for me (if it had been the place it had advertised itself to be).  So I don't hold my parents or Hyde to any kind of ill will or negative feelings.



But what keeps bothering me here is that I see dozens of posts (but they're all anonymous, so I can't even get a sense if it's the same person posting repetitively or if it's dozens of unique individuals - which leads me to want to say that they're probably all from a smaller group of repeating individuals).  And except for Lars, and a few others, I see no realization of any kind of responsibility for the actions that led to being sent to Hyde.



What that says to me, at least, is that you're looking for someone else to blame.  You're looking for an excuse.  And now you've found this board where you can at least find some sort of validation (again, the anonymity is nice, but it's also harmful) for your feelings.



No, I don't know what Hyde's college grad statistics are.  I don't know what their 5, 10 or 20 year post-Hyde stats are (ie: what is the avg income for a student 10 or 20 years out... or where are they now).  And I'm not sure that it matters, either.



To the best of my knowledge, Hyde never promises to "fix" the child.  Which means, that if the child fails in the future, it's still not Hyde's fault.  Nor is a child's success.  My subsequent degrees are NOT the result of a Hyde education.  They are the result of hard work, dedication and the realization that *I* am responsible for my own behavior (which IS a result of my attendance at Hyde).  So I don't credit Hyde with my successes or failures.  I credit Hyde with giving me the beginning to understanding myself.  And that's all they're entitled to.



So don't blame the school for your actions, if that's what this is about.  Don't blame the school for not being able to fix you - because they can't.  You have to fix you.  Or you at least have to find the right "help" to fix yourself."

Fletch, I appreciate all you have said here, but what about the parents who do try to send their kid to the right place for help?  What about the parents who spend $4,000 on an Educational Consultant who has evaluated the child and said that a place like Hyde would be good for them?

In my case my EC was not aware of how bad Hyde was although he is now!  I did my homework, read up on the internet, (great PR from Hyde) and spoke to a couple of former and current parents at one of those PR Tea's Hyde puts on.  Naive me didn't realize that I would only be meeting people who bought into the program. Later on I encountered some of these same people and saw how dissatisfied they were with Hyde.

What was wrong with my son Fetch?  He was one of those you spoke about who was later diagnosed with ADD.  In his case he did have ADD and ended up getting on meds in college and doing great ever since. Hyde held him back from the help he needed by telling us he was lazy and had no self confidence. We were told that a Character Education for all of us would be just what the doctor ordered.  

I take responsibility for trusting in the wrong people. Am I a bad parent for this? Some might say yes, but maybe I am only guilty of needing to learn how to be a better parent and use better judgement. I was not fortunate enough to have good role models in my life.

I agree with you that it sometimes is the parent who needs the help, and I learned that I did not need an Educational Consultant to help my child but instead a  a good Psychologist to help me.  Had I gone that route I then could have helped my child and gotten him the proper help rather than thinking Hyde had all the answers.

Hyde didn't have all the answers and instead they did much more harm to my son by lowering his self esteem more than it was, by telling him he could do better in school then he was capable of, and by exposing him to elements he would not have been exposed to at home.  Had Hyde had professionals on staff that would have evaulated my son, they would have seen that he needed meds for ADD rather than telling him he had an attitude problem and needed more character development.

I can't go back, but I can move forward and try to help others by my experiences.  This is what I have chosen to do rather than blame Hyde, although I still to this day do not understand why Hyde hasn't developed a better understanding of who they are and where they are going.  They cannot be a One Size Fits All School.  They need to figure out what type of student they can help and only accept this type of student into their program.  By accepting most everyone is doing the entire student body a disservice as well as being dishonest.

I disagree with one of the posters who said you are bitter.  Quite the contrary you sound very level headed and focused, and seem to have moved on.  This poster is confusing the word "bitter" with "empowerment" which is something you seem to be doing well at in spite of Hyde.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline fletch699

  • Posts: 23
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #24 on: June 19, 2006, 06:06:00 PM »
I'm glad you were able to get your son the help he needed.  You do not sound like a bad parent to me (not that I'm an expert on parenting... merely an "experienced son").  Overall, you did everything that I probably would have done.

As for Educational Consultants... well, I'm not really sure what to say.  I've never dealt with one and I don't know what they specifically offer.  From a consultant-side analysis, however, I would say that I would not recommend anything to anyone that I did not have experience with.

If your EC didn't know anything about Hyde other than word-of-mouth hearsay, they (IMHO) shouldn't have suggested Hyde to you.  Depending on your specific circumstances, I might even be so inclined to challenge the EC in court (but that's just the lawyer in me wanting justice).  Then again, sometimes it's just better to let it go and move on... especially if things turn out ok in the end.

Overall, I'm just glad that your son eventually got the proper diagnosis and help that he needed.  My brother has ADHD (among other issues), and I saw first-hand the horrors in public school education that he went through with untrained educators... and Hyde, again IMHO, wouldn't be any better... and might even be worse.

:smile:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #25 on: June 19, 2006, 07:58:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-06-19 15:06:00, fletch699 wrote:

"I'm glad you were able to get your son the help he needed.  You do not sound like a bad parent to me (not that I'm an expert on parenting... merely an "experienced son").  Overall, you did everything that I probably would have done.



As for Educational Consultants... well, I'm not really sure what to say.  I've never dealt with one and I don't know what they specifically offer.  From a consultant-side analysis, however, I would say that I would not recommend anything to anyone that I did not have experience with.



If your EC didn't know anything about Hyde other than word-of-mouth hearsay, they (IMHO) shouldn't have suggested Hyde to you.  Depending on your specific circumstances, I might even be so inclined to challenge the EC in court (but that's just the lawyer in me wanting justice).  Then again, sometimes it's just better to let it go and move on... especially if things turn out ok in the end.



Overall, I'm just glad that your son eventually got the proper diagnosis and help that he needed.  My brother has ADHD (among other issues), and I saw first-hand the horrors in public school education that he went through with untrained educators... and Hyde, again IMHO, wouldn't be any better... and might even be worse.



:)"


I think Hyde is worse than public education, not that public education is any good, but at least you know what you are getting.  At Hyde they lie and mislead you about the education and then they intentionally hold the child back in order to keep you there another year. IMHO Hyde plays head games with both parents and students. Thank goodness we got out when we did and although my son lost a couple of years, he is now making it up and is heading in the right direction, NO thanks to Hyde.

How did you find Hyde on this website? A friend tried to find this website when typing in Hyde in his browser and could never get to it.  Is it showing up on your browser?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #26 on: June 19, 2006, 08:00:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-06-19 04:16:00, fletch699 wrote:

"Like Lars, I graduated from high school in 1990 (but not from Hyde).  I only had one year there (my 8th grade year, so sorry Lars, we didn't overlap, but we probably have some mutual acquaintances).  I also went on to get my JD and I, in fact, specialize in contract issues.



I have never seen the contract (if any) that Hyde signs with parents.  I'm guessing that what is promised, if anything, is not results, but general statements on boarding/feeding/schooling, and probably not even a particular process (which would give Hyde the latitude they want).



As I've posted recently on another topic on this forum, I think that it is horrible that there are so many students/parents/staffers who have had totally awful Hyde experiences.  Hyde does not do their part to limit the incoming students to those that their true process might actually help - but instead seem to take all students, regardless of their underlying issues, apparently for the sake of the almighty dollar.



But, as I also previously said, if parents would not be looking for a place to dump their children... but would instead find the RIGHT place to get their child treatment (if necessary), or a swift kick in the pants (which is what I personally needed, and received, at Hyde) - then maybe some of these horror stories would subside.



Now, this isn't going to repair prior damage... and it's also not going to fix the problem of uneducated staff with respect to dealing with troubled teens (regardless of whether their issues are psychological or attitudinal).



I guess what I have not seen here, with minor exception, is a willingness for the former students (especially those with continued negative feelings about Hyde) to admit the real reasons why they were sent to Hyde.  I am not, in any way, a Hyde supporter (I have never given to the school in any way, nor do I provide any kind of volunteer support), mostly because of the problems I mentioned above.



However, I don't see a realization on the part of many former students that 1) their parents were trying to help them... and in that desperate attempt, found Hyde, and that 2) they DID, as students, NEED some sort of help for their problem(s) - whatever they were.



It took me many years to realize what my parents wanted/expected out of me... and when I did realize that they were looking for me to be the best I could be, and were willing to do whatever it took to get me to get there, I realized why they sent me to Hyde and what Hyde could have done for me (if it had been the place it had advertised itself to be).  So I don't hold my parents or Hyde to any kind of ill will or negative feelings.



But what keeps bothering me here is that I see dozens of posts (but they're all anonymous, so I can't even get a sense if it's the same person posting repetitively or if it's dozens of unique individuals - which leads me to want to say that they're probably all from a smaller group of repeating individuals).  And except for Lars, and a few others, I see no realization of any kind of responsibility for the actions that led to being sent to Hyde.



What that says to me, at least, is that you're looking for someone else to blame.  You're looking for an excuse.  And now you've found this board where you can at least find some sort of validation (again, the anonymity is nice, but it's also harmful) for your feelings.



No, I don't know what Hyde's college grad statistics are.  I don't know what their 5, 10 or 20 year post-Hyde stats are (ie: what is the avg income for a student 10 or 20 years out... or where are they now).  And I'm not sure that it matters, either.



To the best of my knowledge, Hyde never promises to "fix" the child.  Which means, that if the child fails in the future, it's still not Hyde's fault.  Nor is a child's success.  My subsequent degrees are NOT the result of a Hyde education.  They are the result of hard work, dedication and the realization that *I* am responsible for my own behavior (which IS a result of my attendance at Hyde).  So I don't credit Hyde with my successes or failures.  I credit Hyde with giving me the beginning to understanding myself.  And that's all they're entitled to.



So don't blame the school for your actions, if that's what this is about.  Don't blame the school for not being able to fix you - because they can't.  You have to fix you.  Or you at least have to find the right "help" to fix yourself."

Hey Fletch, what do you think about the lax sex policy at Hyde School and all these posts about a pervert running around on campus?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline fletch699

  • Posts: 23
  • Karma: +0/-0
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #27 on: June 19, 2006, 08:04:00 PM »
Actually, I was pointed to this site by a former co-worker who I discovered was also a Hyde alum.

I don't know how it found it, though.  Sorry!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #28 on: June 19, 2006, 08:23:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-06-19 17:00:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-06-19 04:16:00, fletch699 wrote:


"Like Lars, I graduated from high school in 1990 (but not from Hyde).  I only had one year there (my 8th grade year, so sorry Lars, we didn't overlap, but we probably have some mutual acquaintances).  I also went on to get my JD and I, in fact, specialize in contract issues.





I have never seen the contract (if any) that Hyde signs with parents.  I'm guessing that what is promised, if anything, is not results, but general statements on boarding/feeding/schooling, and probably not even a particular process (which would give Hyde the latitude they want).





As I've posted recently on another topic on this forum, I think that it is horrible that there are so many students/parents/staffers who have had totally awful Hyde experiences.  Hyde does not do their part to limit the incoming students to those that their true process might actually help - but instead seem to take all students, regardless of their underlying issues, apparently for the sake of the almighty dollar.





But, as I also previously said, if parents would not be looking for a place to dump their children... but would instead find the RIGHT place to get their child treatment (if necessary), or a swift kick in the pants (which is what I personally needed, and received, at Hyde) - then maybe some of these horror stories would subside.





Now, this isn't going to repair prior damage... and it's also not going to fix the problem of uneducated staff with respect to dealing with troubled teens (regardless of whether their issues are psychological or attitudinal).





I guess what I have not seen here, with minor exception, is a willingness for the former students (especially those with continued negative feelings about Hyde) to admit the real reasons why they were sent to Hyde.  I am not, in any way, a Hyde supporter (I have never given to the school in any way, nor do I provide any kind of volunteer support), mostly because of the problems I mentioned above.





However, I don't see a realization on the part of many former students that 1) their parents were trying to help them... and in that desperate attempt, found Hyde, and that 2) they DID, as students, NEED some sort of help for their problem(s) - whatever they were.





It took me many years to realize what my parents wanted/expected out of me... and when I did realize that they were looking for me to be the best I could be, and were willing to do whatever it took to get me to get there, I realized why they sent me to Hyde and what Hyde could have done for me (if it had been the place it had advertised itself to be).  So I don't hold my parents or Hyde to any kind of ill will or negative feelings.





But what keeps bothering me here is that I see dozens of posts (but they're all anonymous, so I can't even get a sense if it's the same person posting repetitively or if it's dozens of unique individuals - which leads me to want to say that they're probably all from a smaller group of repeating individuals).  And except for Lars, and a few others, I see no realization of any kind of responsibility for the actions that led to being sent to Hyde.





What that says to me, at least, is that you're looking for someone else to blame.  You're looking for an excuse.  And now you've found this board where you can at least find some sort of validation (again, the anonymity is nice, but it's also harmful) for your feelings.





No, I don't know what Hyde's college grad statistics are.  I don't know what their 5, 10 or 20 year post-Hyde stats are (ie: what is the avg income for a student 10 or 20 years out... or where are they now).  And I'm not sure that it matters, either.





To the best of my knowledge, Hyde never promises to "fix" the child.  Which means, that if the child fails in the future, it's still not Hyde's fault.  Nor is a child's success.  My subsequent degrees are NOT the result of a Hyde education.  They are the result of hard work, dedication and the realization that *I* am responsible for my own behavior (which IS a result of my attendance at Hyde).  So I don't credit Hyde with my successes or failures.  I credit Hyde with giving me the beginning to understanding myself.  And that's all they're entitled to.





So don't blame the school for your actions, if that's what this is about.  Don't blame the school for not being able to fix you - because they can't.  You have to fix you.  Or you at least have to find the right "help" to fix yourself."


Hey Fletch, what do you think about the lax sex policy at Hyde School and all these posts about a pervert running around on campus?"


I think this poster is talking about Larry Dubinsky who was both a student and teacher at Hyde.  He has been in a heap of trouble with his lusting after the pretty girls on campus.  Did you know him Fletch?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164659
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Former students - Our worst experiences
« Reply #29 on: June 19, 2006, 09:09:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-06-19 15:06:00, fletch699 wrote:

"I'm glad you were able to get your son the help he needed.  You do not sound like a bad parent to me (not that I'm an expert on parenting... merely an "experienced son").  Overall, you did everything that I probably would have done.



As for Educational Consultants... well, I'm not really sure what to say.  I've never dealt with one and I don't know what they specifically offer.  From a consultant-side analysis, however, I would say that I would not recommend anything to anyone that I did not have experience with.



If your EC didn't know anything about Hyde other than word-of-mouth hearsay, they (IMHO) shouldn't have suggested Hyde to you.  Depending on your specific circumstances, I might even be so inclined to challenge the EC in court (but that's just the lawyer in me wanting justice).  Then again, sometimes it's just better to let it go and move on... especially if things turn out ok in the end.



Overall, I'm just glad that your son eventually got the proper diagnosis and help that he needed.  My brother has ADHD (among other issues), and I saw first-hand the horrors in public school education that he went through with untrained educators... and Hyde, again IMHO, wouldn't be any better... and might even be worse.



:)"


Since our family's Hyde experience we've learned a lot about educational consultants (ECs).  We were pretty naive before our Hyde experience.  Here's what we now know and wish we knew before: Like every other group of professionals, there's enormous variation among ECs. Many ECs are very talented and committed and know a great deal about the schools to which they refer families.  We've met or talked with other ECs who are much less informed and know schools only by their superficial reputations.  We've now been in touch with about a dozen very impressive ECs who refuse to refer families to Hyde.  They have learned how flawed Hyde is and how damaging it can be, mainly because of the poor fit between the staff's ability and the enormous problems many Hyde students have.  Like a number of people who have posted comments here, we learned through painful experience how poorly trained many Hyde staff are and how little they understand about the students' very complicated psychiatric, behavioral and substance abuse problems.  We've also learned that there are a number of other schools that accept similar type students but, unlike Hyde, have well trained staff and a model for dealing with this population.  I'm now convinced that many parents send their kids to Hyde because they're desperate and simply aren't familiar with these other schools that have more rigorous admission criteria and more appropriate staff.  Parents would really do well to find well informed ECs who really know what Hyde is like and about good alternatives.  Chances are these ECs will not refer to Hyde.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »