Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School
Blaire Webbe RIP
katfish:
does anyone know if Blaire 'graduated' MMS (whatever that actually means... :roll: ) ?
Not to say that there's nothing to be said about having to endure MMS for years/graduating b/c certainly anyone there for even a while has endured a lot of ...hardship, but I hate the non-graduate (fucked up forever label) and the graduate (usuallly not thought of as fucked up as the non-graduate) b/c I had a close friend who did not graduate and it became a weird situation...as was the case with other girls. MMS just drops girls like that (not that they don't really the graduates- but at least they are not labeled permanent fuck ups)
-kat
Anonymous:
I think I remember a graduation ceremony for her. She left after I'd been there for like a year and a half or so I should remember, but I think that it was at a weird time in the schedule because of something she had to go do for her new school (Idlewild (sp?)). But she was considered a 'graduate' as far as I remember.
- Liz
katfish:
Liz,
did you think that she needed help that MMS couldn't offer her? Was the description given of her treatment at MMS something you recall?
best- kat
Anonymous:
How long have you been graduated Kat, ten years right, don't you think its time to stop being resentful and move on? I went to Mission Mountain School and I live a successful and functional life. There were things that I did not agree with about the school, but for the most part I think that it did good for me and the girls that were there when I was there. The girls that went to the school had problems, lots and lots of problems, some more severe, some less. Before MMS I did fine in school, I had friends and participated in extracurricular activities. I also drank a lot and was very unsafe in many ways. I lost all concept of morals and values. The values that the school believed in were values by which I still live. People who are still angry, resentful and hateful towards the school are just looking for somewhere to vent frustration that I'm sure has more to do with their undealt with issues that anything else. It wasn't a place that could cure mental illness, deal fully with childhood abuse or any other larger scale problem. People who deal successfully with problems like that usually require longer term therapy, I mean years, not just two. You can't blame the school for peoples' individual choices. . . well I guess you can, because you do.
katfish:
--- Quote ---On 2005-11-23 16:11:00, Anonymous wrote:
1."How long have you been graduated Kat, ten years right, don't you think its time to stop being resentful and move on?
2.The girls that went to the school had problems, lots and lots of problems, some more severe, some less.
3.People who are still angry, resentful and hateful towards the school are just looking for somewhere to vent frustration that I'm sure has more to do with their undealt with issues that anything else.
4.It wasn't a place that could cure mental illness, deal fully with childhood abuse or any other larger scale problem.
5.You can't blame the school for peoples' individual choices. . . well I guess you can, because you do. "
--- End quote ---
1.nope- I'm mostly angry though not so much about my experience anymore b/c in the end I don't feel like I'm forever damaged (scarred maybe)and am doing well for myself (some of us have not been so fortunate), but it enrages me to no end that I still hear stories from girls who have jsut recently left MMS, like Blair, about the school using the same tactics I found so damaging and they themselves expressing the same kind of emotional torment after MMS 'treatment' upon 'graduating'. So yes, 10 years, and after 10 years this still goes on. Knowing how painful the whole experience was for me, I don't feel like I can, in good conscience, turn away. Too many girls have and that allows this to continue. At one point this was about vindication and while at times a small part of me wants that vindication, it's not about that anymore- this pet project has taken on greater meaning to me. So, if I move on it would be like conceding to mistreatment of myself and other girls in the present and future...I'm not really comfortable with that.
2. right, and qualified staff would have been helpful in dealing with that
3. hmmm...you sure about that? my problem with my MMS experience has to do with undealt issues? Certainly there were a number of issues that I couldn't deal with at MMS b/c I was so terrified and was often told I was lying anyway presumably b/c the truth wasn't good enough of a story and of course it can't be forgotten that John's reign of terror brought about evermore problems that probably you have a point at least in mentioning that undealt issues exist. Now, whether or not that means that all the frustration I have and am directing at the school/industry at large has to do with undealt issues and in turn means there's nothing legitimate in my criticism- well, obviously I have to say I disagree... Also, its just such an MMS program thing to say. IF you look back at the posts you will see the same arguement made by other alumni, it's so uniform it's hard not to point out what I like to call 'Mercerisms;--- either your with us or against us kind of a thing. No criticism allowed b/c that means there's something you're not dealing with. Very MMS program mode. Anyway- getting down to real life level, where there are nuances of grey amidst the black and white, I'm human, just like you and as a human certainly I have issues. I'm frustrated about a lot of things in this world, but I assure you that my frustration about MMS comes not from being neglected by my parents, taken advantage of by men at 11 or any other hardship I've encountered before MMS or even after, but instead has to do with the fact that I was sent to a school after I had attempted to off myself and was subjected to harsh conditions, intense labor/excersize, a silencing of my own mind, terror induced 'disclosures', humiliation and from there went on to suffer from nightmares, anxiety, depression all while trying to figure out what I was doing wrong b/c I was following what they told me to do- AA meeting when I wasn't even an alcoholic, wondering if I was a sex addict trying meeting there...and not being able to function normally b/c i never got the help i needed- they were not qualified although they accepted me anyway, the 'help' I did receive was so over simplified and so much about a fear induced straightening out that ALL the fears and axieties that I entered the program with I left with 100times worse. I was not very social, deeply insecure, depressed, confused and I left the program feeling those exact emotions oddly amplified but all the while feeling detatched from my own self b/c I was so completely all about the program and bought into the fact that they were always right about everything, even if internally I felt differently. It's a very strange experience to be forced to think & belinve things in a way that's different than you acutally do. And, further than that, to then convince yourself that you believe them even when you don't, talk about confusion! The devestation of that, of being made to question your own reality was I think the worse part about MMS for me.
4. so we want to talk about how MMS is not qualified to deal with mental illness, then perhaps they should not accept students who are mentally ill. Frankly, I think that's a hard line to draw not to mention it seems to me a disorder can pop up from just having gone to MMS. I like this quote from the MMS article:
"You might condition? a rat or a monkey to do something if you punish them enough, but it doesn't mean there's been some insight or great growth." Nicki Bush, a psychology graduate student who interned at a rural residential treatment facility.
Wait- not punishment, but 'consequences'-sounds better, doesn't it?
But unlike rats, with humans you can and MMS does play into the moral element of bad/good, right/wrong, fucked up/not fucked up- ...so if what MMS says is good, and you think differently you are bad. Shameful shameful method. Disgusting. Who wants to be bad? So we all obeyed like the good girls should...The whole thing is just so silly and I would laugh if it weren't such a tragedy.
5. Blame MMS? Referring to Blaire, correct? I think, from what I gather, it's probably a fair assesment to make that if Blair had
1.gotten thehelp she needed, eg effective therapy and intervention by professional and not been treated punitively and 2. not been mistreated at MMS and felt so damaged when she left that she may have not killed herself, yes... that seems kind of obvious to me- is it not obvious? I would think that this would have had a preventative impact and that it is certainly possible the outcome would have been different.
Best- kat
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