If therapy will help us. I want something more than PTSD treated. We all seem to have the same kind of "symptoms" and it goes alot farther than PTSD. It is much more complex than what I've read on PTSD. I'm not sure what it is we experience, but it's deep. When I have tried to go to therapy and the first visit the counselor asks you to start telling them what happened through my life and what I experience now. I think to myself "How much time do I have to talk?" And when I start to tell them, They seem overwhelmed and unsure where to start helping. Then after a few meetings, We have still not gotten all the information out. A few meetings later....I get frustrated because "the right" stuff isn't being adressed. They always try to fit me inside one of their labeled boxxes. Or spout off so many diagnosises, I just feel like giving up. Straight Inc. grew a horrible emotional/social disease inside of me that has no name, no treatment. Well, thats how I have felt about it. I want closure. I'm not sure how to find it, but that's what I want, Closure. It wasn't even until comming here I could put "how it happened" all together. One thing Straight took from me is, my idenity. I haven't been sure of myself or lived w/o great fear since I got out of Straight. Somehow all the feelings I experienced in Straight had become once removed, like it was a dream. Then after comming here I remembered the one thing I noticed right away upon leaving Straight, A thing I had never experienced before, Fear, Fear of almost everyone and everything. I remember now upon leaving Straight being afraid of the whole world, because I knew something about our world other people didn't know. I knew there were places people were taken to and not heard from again for long periods of time and when they did get out, they were not the same people as when they went in. That reality scared me the most. I remember thinking there was always someone behind me ready to restrain me and take me back or silence my knowledge in some way.
What we all experienced is just horrific. I feel like I was in a mass genecide of the free thinking teenager. Straight took so many things from my life. Things I can never retrieve or get back. The only thing I can hope for is Valadation.