Author Topic: HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself  (Read 2445 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself
« on: November 10, 2005, 10:09:00 AM »
Our family has now been affiliated with Hyde for several years.  It has taken us some time to figure out Hyde's true colors.  We started Hyde in earnest.  We were not in a true state of crisis, although we had some concerns about our child's path.  Our child enrolled in Summer Challenge which, overall, seemed to be a rather benign experience (with the exception of a couple of group seminars where, clearly, the group facilitators were in over their heads when a couple of parents disclosed some incredibly powerful, sensitive, and provocative information in front of their children and the rest of us -- it was painful to watch and hear the staff's inept handling of the situations).

Our child then started Hyde in September of that year.  Initially we bought into the program and attended all meetings (regional, FLCs) faithfully.  We gave it our best shot as we embraced Hyde's core message about character, attitude, and values.  Slowly, we began to realize how toxic Hyde is, how much brainwashing occurs, how Hyde staff are expected to master and use a rather simplistic, jingoistic, doctrinaire, and patronizing package of cliches and Hyde-isms to explain everything that occurs at the school.  Over time we began to resent Hyde's intrusions, arrogance, and, most of all, embarrassing hypocrisy.  We began to meet lots and lots of parents whose kids clearly suffered from things like major depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, and substance abuse.  We had no idea that was such a large percentage of the school's primary population (of course these kids deserve help -- they're just not going to get it at Hyde).  We were shocked to learn that Hyde accepts so many of these kids and yet has no professional staff -- zero -- to respond to these kids' major mental health needs.

So, now we're in a position where we are horrified that we didn't see the writing on the wall and, like so many others, are desperate to scrape Hyde off of our shoes.  Of course, given the pervasive climate of mistrust at Hyde, we (again, like so many others) don't feel comfortable talking publicly and identifying ourselves.  We've heard too many stories about Hyde's pressure tactics, efforts to drive a wedge between parents and their kids, and so on.  Lots of families vote with their feet and get out.

Here's what our family has concluded: Hyde is adept at spin.  Hyde -- and especially Joe Gauld and his family -- are quite skilled at delivering cliches.  When all is said and done, Hyde fails to follow its own advice.  To wit:

A.  Hyde says to many students and parents: You're all image.  You need to look at your own attitudes behind that and shed the image "thing."  TRUTH:  Hyde is obsessed with spinning its own image and fails to take an honest look at this preoccupation.  Take a close look at Hyde's public statements, publications and website.  Is there any honest acknowledgement that Hyde offers a very controversial model, has many critics, has been sued, has had formal complaints filed against it, has had significant personnel problems and an occasional scandal, has kids who run away from the school, has a high attrition rate, some faculty with unimpressive teacher training and experience, poor academic histories, etc.?  Is that a school that is really honest about its image?  Sounds hypocritical to me.

B.  Hyde says to students and parents: Character and attitude are important.  In fact, they're key. TRUTH:  Hyde's unwillingness to talk openly and honestly about its shortcomings, its unwillingess to acknowledge its passionate critics, its shameless mistreatment of many students and parents flies in the face of what character really means (despite Joe Gauld's trite spin on the subject).  Sounds hypocritical to me.

C.  Hyde says to students and parents: Value truth over harmony.  TRUTH:  When Hyde encounters other people's truths that entail genuine criticism of Hyde and that might lead to some painful self-examination and soul searching at Hyde, Hyde lets the criticism run like water off a duck's back.  Hyde's version of truth means whatever conforms with Hyde's myopic, distorted, and twisted view of reality.  Any truth about Hyde that leads to disharmony is rejected by Hyde; they circle the wagons.  Sounds hypocritical to me.

D.  Hyde tells students and parents that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  TRUTH:  Joe Gauld is the tree.  He's surrounded by lots of Hyde apples that didn't fall far.  Is it any surprise that so many Hyde staff run around campus viewing anything and everything through those superficial, catchy, and seductive Hyde cliches?  Is it any surprise that so many Hyde staff manifest Joe Gauld's grandiose and narcissistic views, hubris, and doctrinaire intrusion into other people's lives?  TRUTH: Joe Gauld's fruit didn't fall far from his tree, yet the Hyde crew seems quite unwilling to acknowledge and reflect on that fact.  Sounds hypocritical (and cult-like) to me.

E.  Hyde tells students and parents to live a life based on courage.  TRUTH: When Hyde's critics courageously and responsibly voice their concerns, Hyde is often defensive, dismissive, and arrogant.  Sounds hypocritical to me.

I'm so happy to have recently discovered this website.  If one takes a step back and considers the many thoughtful criticisms and observations (and ignores the others), there seems to be only one conclusion:  Hyde's emperor has no clothes.  Hyde needs to heal itself before it continues to try to shape other people's lives.  Hyde is now being exposed.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Lars

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HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2005, 01:16:00 PM »
Thank you for your articulate and well-written post.  For former students like myself, it's hard to write about past experiences at Hyde without letting the rage seep out, especially when we've got at least one of the brainwashed Hyde types on the board bringing back terrible memories by sounding just like the faculty did - condescending, arrogant & dismissive. Every day there I woke up with my stomach in knots, dreading what was to come.  I hope that someday the Gaulds will come to understand how much pain and misery they have caused (and, from the sound of it, continue to inflict on weak-minded & desperate families).  But I'm not holding my breath.  We just need to get the word out.  If this board causes one just one family to avoid putting their kid through hell, its worth it to be reliving some of the terrible experiences that I left behind.

   [ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2005-11-10 10:17 ][ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2005-11-10 10:18 ]
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2005, 02:03:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-11-10 10:16:00, Lars wrote:

"Thank you for your articulate and well-written post.  For former students like myself, it's hard to write about past experiences at Hyde without letting the rage seep out, especially when we've got at least one of the brainwashed Hyde types on the board bringing back terrible memories by sounding just like the faculty did - condescending, arrogant & dismissive. Every day there I woke up with my stomach in knots, dreading what was to come.  I hope that someday the Gaulds will come to understand how much pain and misery they have caused (and, from the sound of it, continue to inflict on weak-minded & desperate families).  But I'm not holding my breath.  We just need to get the word out.  If this board causes one just one family to avoid putting their kid through hell, its worth it to be reliving some of the terrible experiences that I left behind.



   [ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2005-11-10 10:17 ][ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2005-11-10 10:18 ]"


To reassure you, this website HAS convinced more than one family that had been considering Hyde to avoid Hyde. I have confirmation of that.  These postings have definitely had an impact, and the impact appears to be growing.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2005, 10:04:00 PM »
Does anyone know how to start a chat room?  It would be wonderful if we could get more off of our chests and also be available to potential students and parents
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2005, 10:26:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-11-10 19:04:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Does anyone know how to start a chat room?  It would be wonderful if we could get more off of our chests and also be available to potential students and parents"


Good idea.  Unfortunately, I haven't a clue as to how one does this.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Lars

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HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2005, 05:33:00 PM »
You know, after I first started posting here, I had somewhat optimistically hoped that anyone who disagreed might be willing to engage in a civil constructive dialogue.  With a few notable exceptions, this hasn't been the case.  Getting to vent was cathartic, but some of the stuff we're seeing from the Hyde folks is just disheartening.  As a Hyde graduate, I have to say it's an embarrassment that so many people who shared the same experience can't engage in constructive dialogue or even keep from insulting people.  Talking about about Hyde has made me reflect on my experience there in ways that I haven't in years.  It wasn't all bad, and I certainly respect that many of the people there truly cared about helping kids.  But what I'm seeing from the most of pro-Hyde types leads me to believe that my memories and opinions are dead on.  

And that just makes me sad.  I've even thought about going back to see people there, to say hey, I really didn't like it there and I think many of the things that go on there are harmful, but I respect the principles and that yes, at least they care.  Now, I just don't know.  Maybe I should just forget about the whole business.  I just don't know.  After all, 15 years later, maybe it just doesn't matter all that much.  I know who am & what I believe in.  It was only three years, however miserable they were.  And so we all move on...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2005, 06:54:00 PM »
I've had civil arguments with you on this web site but in general, I agree.  I haven't been impressed with peoples' willingness to hear the criticism and respond respectfully.  It's disappointing.  I wish that more people would speak up in a non-condescending and positive way.  I know people have to be out there... I mean, I'm out here.  I loved my time at Hyde and feel like I really grew up there.  If Hyde was good for you and your family, then why is it so hard for others to come and talk about that?

For me, I hear much of what is being said.  My biggest reaction to Hyde was not about that stuff.  Before Hyde, I passed classes because I was good at taking tests.  When I got to Hyde, they helped me develop my work ethic, which helped me do well at a good college.  I made good friends, some of whom I kept in touch with over the years.  I liked many of the faculty members and used the seminars to work on family issues, which seemed to get better as a result of Hyde.  It isn't for everyone and is certainly more confrontational that I would have enjoyed.  I've heard that recently they've toned much of that down-- is it true that students don't direct the 5:30s anymore, etc.?  I think that much of what isn't liked about the school stems from peoples' unhappiness with internal hypocrisy, which feels to me like something that could and should change.  Do others feel like something is there that is worth maintaining?  Are people quiet because they don't want this web site to get more attention?
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline katfacehead89

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Re: HYDE School: Follow Your Own Advice and Heal Thyself
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2021, 04:36:57 AM »
These points are so accurate and so insightful.