Author Topic: Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!  (Read 5021 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« on: November 10, 2005, 07:03:00 AM »
Any parent who is considering Hyde as an option for his or her child should read the following new post from a parent whose child just spent two years at Hyde.  This parent apparently just discovered this website and, like so many of us, is heartened to discover that many others share his/her sentiments.

When I read this post I felt like I was reading my own words.  This parent has captured Hyde's disturbing essence beautifully.  His/her observations are accurate, astute, and similar to so many other comments posted on this website.  You will note this parent's very insightful observations about Hyde's abusive tactics, mind games, seductive techniques, mediocre academic program, and pressure tactics.  You'll get a good sense of Hyde's aggressive efforts to get parents and students to disclose the most intimate details of their lives to strangers -- in seminars run by Hyde staff who have virtually no professional training in how to handle these incredibly sensitive situations.  You'll also understand why so many parents (and staff?) leave Hyde in disgust and do not trust the school's staff.  

Here's the very compelling "must read" post:

--------------------------------------------------

I am amazed & heartened to see this site. I'm a parent whose child left Hyde last year - after 2 years. He transferred to another boarding school, one we should have enrolled in in the first place. ANY good small school with caring faculty would have done it for us - without the high drama of Hyde. People put their kids into Hyde in a crisis - often on the advice of a consultant. It was negligent to do this. Leaving Hyde was leaving a cult. I won't go on about this - lest I be accused by a Hyde fan of being over- emotional. My son wanted to go to a real school - one that valued academics and didn't use him as a 'proctor'. Hyde pressured him intensely, wanting him to stay and 'face his fears'. I had several horrendous phone calls with staff. At Hyde the first day they tell parents not to believe what your child tells you: Deciding to listen to my son and advocate for his leaving was the best and hardest thing I have ever done. Hyde doesn't want to hear the 'truth' - and when a parent and child decide what's best for themselves, they accuse you of various character flaws.

The 'seminars' - "let go, Let Hyde"... as they say...
With its foreground of "character" being more important that academic achievement, Hyde uses intensive ad hoc group therapy sessions to intentionally intrude into the fabric and balance of the family system. A retreat or "flc' is several days of 3 long 'seminars' a day punctuated by various group exercises designed to break down defenses. This is practicing family systems group therapy without a license. Of course no one at Hyde will admit this! Hyde can't call itself a therapeutic school, of course, because there is no qualified counseling staff running these seminars or working with the kids - despite the obvious needs of many if not most of the kids. With missionary zeal and techniques that you suddenly realize are quite coercive, they push their untested educational theory on families who didn't realize they were captives of the 'process'.

The premise of 'fix the family, fix the kid', and 'personal growth through the Hyde process" could not be more destructive. People end up disclosing intimate and often painful things about themselves. If a family chose to seek therapy, a trained therapist would guide this slowly over time and know what to do with the results. Imagine yourself In the 6th seminar hour of the 2nd day of a 4 day 'retreat' - led by an intrusive untrained leader pushing you to 'Tell the truth! What do you do when you don't go for truth!" - you're unbelievably divulging some intense personal issue (in front of your child...) and then - after hearing 'feedback' from the group (often misplaced, stereotyped and hurtful in itself), your time is up! Dry your tears! It's someone else's turn now! It's no wonder Hyde doesn't have therapist on their staff: no professional would do this to people. The state licensing boards ought to take more of an interest in what actually takes place in seminars. Not just individual psyches are damaged: marriages, sibling relationships - all if it. These people have no right to put families through this in the name of 'education'. And this is only what the parents see: it's the kids, who have to live this psychodrama day after day, who are really stuck. Imagine being an underclassmen and having a posse of 'seniors who run the school' in your room at night accusing you of being 'dirty'. ("Dirty" - their work for 'breaking ethics'). "If you're not dirty, are you willing to sign this paper saying if we find anything on you that you won't go home for spring break?"

As I read this I cannot believe I ever got involved to the level I did. In my region, for a time, I held a leadership position where I was supposed to do this to others. I regret not standing up at these seminars and walking out, I regret any hurtful intrusion I ever made into other people and at some point I will write apologies and explanations to them.

Simplest advice - stay away. If you or your family need therapy, get a good therapist. If you need a therapeutic school, there are many. If you need a boarding school, find one. It's hard to believe Hyde gets away with this. Any why am I anonymous? Maybe in a year I won't be. At the moment I still don't trust the school - I do feel like I've left a cult. I left my brains at the door when I entered, and hopefully my experience will prevent you from doing the same.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2005, 08:53:00 AM »
Anonymous very accurately describes the Hyde School.

Hyde preys upon the anxities of desperate parents-- but in most cases parents with significant financial means.  Hyde plays on the hopes, fears and anxieties of parents who feel that they are at their wits end in trying to help their troubled teen-- once matriculated at Hyde, Hyde immediately turns the tables and points the finger at the parents-- "it's all your fault".

The administration is full of unlicensed and inadequately untrained personnel. Nepotism is rife in the administration and leadership of Hyde.   The senior administration is well looked after.  Of course, Hyde does not disclose its financial position.....but it is very light on endowments..for obvious reasons. Hyde is accepting major funding from state education authorities yet it is not (by a long shot) in compliance with state or federal requirements relating to this funding....and Hyde knows it.  

The 'community' of which they often speak is a figment of their own creations....marketing spin abounds, claims to success are not backed up by any measureable standards.  Accountability by the School to parents is  non-existent...interaction and communication with federal and state funding and licensing agencies is 'managed'-- read 'spun.

When you arrive at Hyde for registration, along with the indoctrination into Hyde, you are hyped to buy Joe Gauld's books (not inexpensive)..with the continuing reminder that you will need these for your journey through Hyde. The fund raising hype continues throughout the year, constant solicitations to give considerable amounts of money to the school.

The academic program is very weak, many unlicensed teachers.....while there are some dedicated teachers (these tend not to last very long) among the faculty and staff are many, many recovering ( many not recovered) alcoholics, embezzlers, etc.-- all with a messianc message to  impart (read "shove down your throat") their own view of the world-- several still with signfiicant problems, hot temperments and abusive personalities.

Approximately 45% of the student population consists of adopted children, yet there is no one on staff trained in adoption related issues.

We were harassed continually by staff, and it was demanded that we discuss the personal aspects of our lives, all on the basis that this would be 'liberating'....well, it wasn't liberating-- not by a long shot....we witnessed several families being torn apart. Luckily, we did regular sanity self-checks, and concluded that Hyde is an aberrant environment.

There is no question that Hyde School is engaging in psychological counselling on a very grand scale without participation of any staff (or consultants) qualified in this area. We heartily support the view that state licensing authorities should investigate the practices at Hyde.  Hyde counters that it is a private school and free to do what it wants.

Hyde is set on beautiful landscaped premises, but don't be fooled by the window dressing.  It is a 'prison' mentality and environment, where the spirit of each of the 'inmates' is broken down and  quashed into the ground....most of those who are 'permitted' to become seniors are "Stepford Kids"-- whose conversations consist primarily of Hyde-isms....none are truly capable of independent thinking, or self discipline. Few are adequately prepared either academically or in terms of social development for university.

The churn in the student body and in staff is incredible (though Hyde refuses to share this data).

Hypocrisy abounds at Hyde.  One of Hyde's principal tenets is "Truth over Harmony"...unfortunately, Hyde has difficulty looking at itself in the mirror.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Troll Control

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 7391
  • Karma: +1/-0
    • View Profile
Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2005, 09:26:00 AM »
Thanks for posting.  It seems they use the typical "break-'em-down-'n-build-'em-up approach, which has been shown time and againg not to work.

The more I hear about Hyde, the more it looks and smells like a crock of shit.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
The Linchpin Link

Whooter - The Most Prolific Troll Fornits Has Ever Seen - The Definitive Links
**********************************************************************************************************
"Looks like a nasty aspentrolius sticci whooterensis infestation you got there, Ms. Fornits.  I\'ll get right to work."

- Troll Control

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2005, 10:15:00 AM »
This is a great statement and really does hit the Hyde nail on the head.

A number of people posting here have asked, "Why doesn't the accreditation agency do something?"  "How can a school like this continue to be accredited?"

Another Hyde parent recently told me that the agency that accredits Hyde, the New England Assocation of Schools and Colleges (NEASC), has received complaints about Hyde and has been investigating the school.  ALL OF US need to take the time to let NEASC know about our experiences.  Of course, we should do so in a responsible way and support our complaints with facts.  If NEASC doesn't hear from us, it can't do much about these problems.  It's that simple.

Here's the NEASC complaint procedure and website:

NEASC complaint procedure: http://www.neasc.org/cis/complaints.PDF

NEASC website and address: http://www.neasc.org/

We must take the time to communicate our concerns to NEASC.  This can make a difference.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2005, 06:20:00 PM »
If you don't believe what you are reading on this site, get a hold of Hyde's Alumni Magazine which our family just received in the mail today - 11/21/05

Check the "Alumni News" - from 1967 to 2005, there are a scant 4 1/2 pages - READ IT - most of it is condolences or references to the Gauld cult/clique -

TRULY, this should be enough to make you question why you might even be thinking about HYDE -

Kids leave in multitudes each year - the turnover is huge - the graduates, i.e., stepford kids, cruise on to college and NEVER look back

Cultist Gauld has got it wrong - I am sorry that his Mother was a drunk - I am sorry that his wife was a drunk - but, GET OVER IT - and stop laying your guilt trip on two huge money-making campuses!! - you are fumbling with a generation of truly needy kids for whom your school provides NO medical/psychological help -

For God's Sake - a father died on your Woodstock campus last Family Weekend - The school had NO doctor, NO defribilator. Nothing!!!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2005, 09:00:00 PM »
Quote
On 2005-11-21 15:20:00, Anonymous wrote:

"If you don't believe what you are reading on this site, get a hold of Hyde's Alumni Magazine which our family just received in the mail today - 11/21/05



Check the "Alumni News" - from 1967 to 2005, there are a scant 4 1/2 pages - READ IT - most of it is condolences or references to the Gauld cult/clique -



TRULY, this should be enough to make you question why you might even be thinking about HYDE -



Kids leave in multitudes each year - the turnover is huge - the graduates, i.e., stepford kids, cruise on to college and NEVER look back



Cultist Gauld has got it wrong - I am sorry that his Mother was a drunk - I am sorry that his wife was a drunk - but, GET OVER IT - and stop laying your guilt trip on two huge money-making campuses!! - you are fumbling with a generation of truly needy kids for whom your school provides NO medical/psychological help -



For God's Sake - a father died on your Woodstock campus last Family Weekend - The school had NO doctor, NO defribilator. Nothing!!!"


I completely agree that Hyde is a dreadful school and that no parent should enroll their child there.  Moreover, I agree that Hyde has very disturbing cult qualities.

But, I think it's important to be precise about who is responsible for the cult.  There's no doubt in my mind that Joe Gauld is a master at classic cult leadership -- the brainwashing, the seduction, the narcissism, the self-centered arrogance.  Joe Gauld's lack of insight and self knowledge are stunning.

My feelings about Malcolm and Laura Gauld are more complicated.  Both of them certainly buy into the Hyde rhetoric and use the same tired and glib cliches.  But Malcolm and Laura seem somewhat more moderate in their views, at least based on their public presentations.  When I've heard them speak they haven't been nearly as offensive as Joe.  I may not agree with everything Malcolm and Laura say (and I can't stand their repetitive, predictable Hyde-speak), but they seem more open-minded than Joe.

A major problem is that Hyde has so many lieutenants who seem to have deposited their independent thinking at the door.  I am continually amazed, as I walk around Hyde and talk with staff, at the number of Hyde automatons.  I have never been in an environment before where nearly everyone uses the same jargon, the same cliches, the same superficial terminology to describe and deal with complex matters.  The naive, simple-minded Hyde approach is beyond belief.  Now that we're looking around for other schools we are amazed at how much more sophisticated and thoughtful so many other schools are.  I wish every Hyde family could experience what we're now experiencing: discovering how many enlightened schools exist.  They put Hyde to shame.  Our only wish is that we had discovered this earlier.

My impression is that Hyde administrators are worried about enrollment projections and competition.  They should be.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2005, 05:21:00 PM »
Well, this afternoon I drove one of my child's Hyde friends to the bus station to return to school after a brief stop home (she spent Thanksgiving with our family because of problems her own family is struggling with).

This Hyde student (not an off-track student) spoke in the car, pretty much non stop and without leading questions from me, about how awful she thinks the Hyde model is.  This is a reasonably mature, thoughtful student.  She wasn't whining or simply bitching and moaning.  Rather, she was reflecting on her Hyde experience so far.  Here are the highlights of her observations:

- The vast majority of kids who enroll at Hyde don't finish.  The Hyde model doesn't work for most kids who go there.
- The Hyde kids who finish either don't have major mental health issues, are kids of Hyde faculty/staff, or learn how to play the Hyde game and fly below radar.
- This student's estimate is that about 75 percent of Hyde kids come to the school with major mental health problems.  She spoke about kids she's gotten to know who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, cutting, major anxiety, major depression, eating disorders, etc.  This student is amazed, now that she has a sense of the Hyde student body, that the school doesn't have mental health professionals on staff.
- This student spoke passionately about another Hyde student who "snapped" because her psychiatric issues weren't addressed.  According to my passenger, the Hyde student who snapped was showing all kinds of psychiatric symptoms, but Hyde didn't respond to those signs.  Apparently this kid spun out of control at Hyde because of the pressure there and is now in a residential treatment center.
- This student described a Hyde student who suffers from anorexia.  This student apparently skipped several meals (not surprising given the disease) and Hyde's response was to put the kid on disciplinary 2-4.  (Incredible.  Anyone who knows anything about treating anorexia would never respond this way.)
- This student launched into a (rather amusing and accurate) impersonation of Joe Gauld.  She went on and on about how the majority of Hyde kids think Joe Gauld is a joke and full of himself.  This student respects some Hyde staff but thinks Joe Gauld has no idea what others think of his predictable and embarrassing Hyde sermon.

I was very impressed with this student's insight and accurate perception of Hyde.  At her tender age she has come to virtually all of the same major conclusions others have expressed on this website.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 164653
  • Karma: +3/-4
    • View Profile
Re: Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2009, 04:45:29 AM »
Quote
My feelings about Malcolm and Laura Gauld are more complicated. Both of them certainly buy into the Hyde rhetoric and use the same tired and glib cliches. But Malcolm and Laura seem somewhat more moderate in their views, at least based on their public presentations. When I've heard them speak they haven't been nearly as offensive as Joe. I may not agree with everything Malcolm and Laura say (and I can't stand their repetitive, predictable Hyde-speak), but they seem more open-minded than Joe.
They're not more open minded. Just have different temperaments.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline katfacehead89

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 38
  • Karma: +4/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Parents Who Are Considering Hyde: READ THIS!
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2021, 12:16:30 AM »
Nothing like unscientific nonsense that costs a lot of money to screw up your kid even more.