Any parent who is considering Hyde as an option for his or her child should read the following new post from a parent whose child just spent two years at Hyde. This parent apparently just discovered this website and, like so many of us, is heartened to discover that many others share his/her sentiments.
When I read this post I felt like I was reading my own words. This parent has captured Hyde's disturbing essence beautifully. His/her observations are accurate, astute, and similar to so many other comments posted on this website. You will note this parent's very insightful observations about Hyde's abusive tactics, mind games, seductive techniques, mediocre academic program, and pressure tactics. You'll get a good sense of Hyde's aggressive efforts to get parents and students to disclose the most intimate details of their lives to strangers -- in seminars run by Hyde staff who have virtually no professional training in how to handle these incredibly sensitive situations. You'll also understand why so many parents (and staff?) leave Hyde in disgust and do not trust the school's staff.
Here's the very compelling "must read" post:
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I am amazed & heartened to see this site. I'm a parent whose child left Hyde last year - after 2 years. He transferred to another boarding school, one we should have enrolled in in the first place. ANY good small school with caring faculty would have done it for us - without the high drama of Hyde. People put their kids into Hyde in a crisis - often on the advice of a consultant. It was negligent to do this. Leaving Hyde was leaving a cult. I won't go on about this - lest I be accused by a Hyde fan of being over- emotional. My son wanted to go to a real school - one that valued academics and didn't use him as a 'proctor'. Hyde pressured him intensely, wanting him to stay and 'face his fears'. I had several horrendous phone calls with staff. At Hyde the first day they tell parents not to believe what your child tells you: Deciding to listen to my son and advocate for his leaving was the best and hardest thing I have ever done. Hyde doesn't want to hear the 'truth' - and when a parent and child decide what's best for themselves, they accuse you of various character flaws.
The 'seminars' - "let go, Let Hyde"... as they say...
With its foreground of "character" being more important that academic achievement, Hyde uses intensive ad hoc group therapy sessions to intentionally intrude into the fabric and balance of the family system. A retreat or "flc' is several days of 3 long 'seminars' a day punctuated by various group exercises designed to break down defenses. This is practicing family systems group therapy without a license. Of course no one at Hyde will admit this! Hyde can't call itself a therapeutic school, of course, because there is no qualified counseling staff running these seminars or working with the kids - despite the obvious needs of many if not most of the kids. With missionary zeal and techniques that you suddenly realize are quite coercive, they push their untested educational theory on families who didn't realize they were captives of the 'process'.
The premise of 'fix the family, fix the kid', and 'personal growth through the Hyde process" could not be more destructive. People end up disclosing intimate and often painful things about themselves. If a family chose to seek therapy, a trained therapist would guide this slowly over time and know what to do with the results. Imagine yourself In the 6th seminar hour of the 2nd day of a 4 day 'retreat' - led by an intrusive untrained leader pushing you to 'Tell the truth! What do you do when you don't go for truth!" - you're unbelievably divulging some intense personal issue (in front of your child...) and then - after hearing 'feedback' from the group (often misplaced, stereotyped and hurtful in itself), your time is up! Dry your tears! It's someone else's turn now! It's no wonder Hyde doesn't have therapist on their staff: no professional would do this to people. The state licensing boards ought to take more of an interest in what actually takes place in seminars. Not just individual psyches are damaged: marriages, sibling relationships - all if it. These people have no right to put families through this in the name of 'education'. And this is only what the parents see: it's the kids, who have to live this psychodrama day after day, who are really stuck. Imagine being an underclassmen and having a posse of 'seniors who run the school' in your room at night accusing you of being 'dirty'. ("Dirty" - their work for 'breaking ethics'). "If you're not dirty, are you willing to sign this paper saying if we find anything on you that you won't go home for spring break?"
As I read this I cannot believe I ever got involved to the level I did. In my region, for a time, I held a leadership position where I was supposed to do this to others. I regret not standing up at these seminars and walking out, I regret any hurtful intrusion I ever made into other people and at some point I will write apologies and explanations to them.
Simplest advice - stay away. If you or your family need therapy, get a good therapist. If you need a therapeutic school, there are many. If you need a boarding school, find one. It's hard to believe Hyde gets away with this. Any why am I anonymous? Maybe in a year I won't be. At the moment I still don't trust the school - I do feel like I've left a cult. I left my brains at the door when I entered, and hopefully my experience will prevent you from doing the same.