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Author Topic: dirty joke thread  (Read 13085 times)

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dragonfly

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dirty joke thread
« Reply #60 on: January 07, 2006, 05:52:00 PM »
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #61 on: January 08, 2006, 12:52:00 AM »
Right ya are, Webcrawler. Sorry, my apologies. I bit hard w/o even looking around to see where I was.

For the community to have 10% to 25% of its men unable to vote or unable to access credit or other privileges of citizenship for the rest of their lives in some states creates a permanently diminished
group within society.
http://www.urban.org/authors/travis.html' target='_new'>Jeremy Travis, Urban Institute

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Fire Swamp

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« Reply #62 on: January 08, 2006, 12:59:00 AM »
You like to bite, eh? . ::eek3:: :grin:
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Offline webcrawler

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« Reply #63 on: January 08, 2006, 05:17:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-01-07 14:52:00, dragonfly wrote:

"She didn't actually fuck up the joke thread, there isn't really room to fuck in here, kind of how there isn't room to scew in a light bulb.



viagra is for pussies!
"


That's the spirit! Back to the jokes. Sexism and all!  :rofl:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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am looking for people who survived Straight in Plymouth, Michigan. I miss a lot of people there and wonder what happened and would like to stay in touch.

dragonfly

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« Reply #64 on: January 09, 2006, 08:41:00 AM »
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #65 on: January 09, 2006, 08:46:00 AM »
why are you up so early fly?
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #66 on: January 09, 2006, 10:49:00 AM »
Quote
On 2006-01-07 09:06:00, ex-prisoner wrote:

"Two old men walked into a bar. In the middle of the floor, a woman was being raped. Surprised, they looked around. Forty or so patrons at the bar were ignoring the rape and were engaged in conversation with each other.



"Excuse me," one of the old men said to the patron next to him, "why isn't anyone doing anything to help this woman?"



"Oh, that's not the way things go here, only the owner of the bar can stop the rapes and get rid of the rapists," said the patron.



"Oh, I see. Can you direct us to the owner?"



The patron waved the bar owner over, a striking woman obviously in command of her domain.



"What can i do for you fellows tonight?" she said.



The second old man spoke up. "Well we walked into your bar, saw this rape, and we heard only you can do anything about it."



"Oh yeah, that," said the bar owner, and waved her hand dismissively. "It's a real free for all around here, buncha crazy patrons."



"So why don't you stop the rape?"



"Like I said, it's a free for all. I am not their mommy or their babysitter. I don't have anything to do with that rape, it is up to the rapist to stop."



The two old men looked at each other and grinned, and then the first old man said to the bar owner, "Ma'am, we had no idea you were running a franchise of our original business. I'm afraid you owe us back payments in royalties."



The bar owner bit her lip nervously. "But you see," she said, "I don't charge anybody who comes here."



"I'm sure you can arrange something," said the second old man.



The bar owner thought for a minute and then her face lit up. "Hey, how much would it be worth to you boys if I advertised for the franchise?"



The old men laughed and shook her hand. They all toasted their business arrangement.



"And to think, Newton," said the first old man, wiping a tear of high emotion from his eye --



"Say no more, Sembler," said the second old man. "Our work will carry on after we are gone.""


 :nworthy:  :lol: Props, I think this sums up the current situation.
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Offline Antigen

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« Reply #67 on: January 09, 2006, 02:18:00 PM »
Big smelly red neck walks into a Citibank branch, stinking of stale rum sweat, spittin chew and generally being obnoxious. He gets up to the window and tells the teller "I want to open an account in this here shithole of a bank. Now get me the papers, bitch, and don't take yer time!"

Teller says "excuse me, sir?"

"What, you a deaf bitch too? Or one a them there fergners? I said I want to open an account in this here bank. Now get the papers and don't stop to powder your nose or chat w/ your little girlfriends along the way."

Teller excuses herself and gets the manager. Manager walks up, says "Excuse me sir, what seems to be the problem?" Redneck says "Well, I just won $30 million on the lotto and I want to put this here check in this piece a shit bank." Manager says "Oh? And this dumb bitch is giving you trouble?"


Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
--Anonymous

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
~ Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Sweet Judy Blue Eyes

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #68 on: January 10, 2006, 11:42:00 AM »
LOL - thanks Ginger, I likethat one.
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Offline SurRobinHood

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« Reply #69 on: January 10, 2006, 12:10:00 PM »
So why is a pub different from a clitorus? Cuz most men can find a pub!  :lol:
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ife may be short but it is also very wide, go around the yucky parts when you can.

Offline Antigen

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« Reply #70 on: January 11, 2006, 02:26:00 PM »
The good lord only gave you guys enough blood to supply one head at a time. I'm not complaining. When reason won't prevail, well we have our ways. lol

Faith is believing something you know ain't true.
--Samuel Clemens "Mark Twain", American author and humorist

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"Don\'t let the past remind us of what we are not now."
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Offline SurRobinHood

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« Reply #71 on: January 11, 2006, 03:37:00 PM »
That's why I named my penis.... I don't want my decisions being made by a stranger!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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ife may be short but it is also very wide, go around the yucky parts when you can.

Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #72 on: January 11, 2006, 03:42:00 PM »
what's the difference between a woman that spits and a woman that swallows?
About 5 pounds of pressure on the back of her neck
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #73 on: January 11, 2006, 04:07:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-09 11:18:00, Antigen wrote:

"Big smelly red neck walks into a Citibank branch, stinking of stale rum sweat, spittin chew and generally being obnoxious. He gets up to the window and tells the teller "I want to open an account in this here shithole of a bank. Now get me the papers, bitch, and don't take yer time!"



Teller says "excuse me, sir?"



"What, you a deaf bitch too? Or one a them there fergners? I said I want to open an account in this here bank. Now get the papers and don't stop to powder your nose or chat w/ your little girlfriends along the way."



Teller excuses herself and gets the manager. Manager walks up, says "Excuse me sir, what seems to be the problem?" Redneck says "Well, I just won $30 million on the lotto and I want to put this here check in this piece a shit bank." Manager says "Oh? And this dumb bitch is giving you trouble?"





Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
--Anonymous


"


Splendid post showing us your value system, Antigen. Kind of like, you make money off advertising for the treatment industry now. Who cares how abusive it is if you are getting paid.

Want to know why you are freaking out? Because the stress caused by the nonsense of your nonexistent value system is finally giving you a nervous breakdown. Your complete lack of respect for survivors has let this forum stand as is, and now it advertises for the very things it professes to despise. If you are telling the truth about Luke Riffle's film funding getting dropped because of the slander on him that you refused to delete, you should be very concerned that your Anything Goes philosophy bears far more resemblance to everything rotten in history than it does to "free speech". You have, by your recent as well as standard actions of deleting things and otherwise abusing people, shown yourself to be no proponent of free speech whatsoever. Your mind and your message board are short circuiting.
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #74 on: January 11, 2006, 05:16:00 PM »
Quote
On 2006-01-11 13:07:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2006-01-09 11:18:00, Antigen wrote:


"Big smelly red neck walks into a Citibank branch, stinking of stale rum sweat, spittin chew and generally being obnoxious. He gets up to the window and tells the teller "I want to open an account in this here shithole of a bank. Now get me the papers, bitch, and don't take yer time!"





Teller says "excuse me, sir?"





"What, you a deaf bitch too? Or one a them there fergners? I said I want to open an account in this here bank. Now get the papers and don't stop to powder your nose or chat w/ your little girlfriends along the way."





Teller excuses herself and gets the manager. Manager walks up, says "Excuse me sir, what seems to be the problem?" Redneck says "Well, I just won $30 million on the lotto and I want to put this here check in this piece a shit bank." Manager says "Oh? And this dumb bitch is giving you trouble?"








Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
--Anonymous



"




Splendid post showing us your value system, Antigen. Kind of like, you make money off advertising for the treatment industry now. Who cares how abusive it is if you are getting paid.



Want to know why you are freaking out? Because the stress caused by the nonsense of your nonexistent value system is finally giving you a nervous breakdown. Your complete lack of respect for survivors has let this forum stand as is, and now it advertises for the very things it professes to despise. If you are telling the truth about Luke Riffle's film funding getting dropped because of the slander on him that you refused to delete, you should be very concerned that your Anything Goes philosophy bears far more resemblance to everything rotten in history than it does to "free speech". You have, by your recent as well as standard actions of deleting things and otherwise abusing people, shown yourself to be no proponent of free speech whatsoever. Your mind and your message board are short circuiting."


This  a joke thread asshole. Unless you have something funny to add do us all a favor and fuck off.
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