« Reply #29 on: December 01, 2001, 05:06:13 PM »
mymind
You may have been there physically, but you don't live in my head. (at least I don't think so). What I have gone through during and after my experience at AARC has scarred me emotionally. Yes I am clean and sober, (through working the 12 steps), and yes I have a life. Going as far as to say found my place in life, not really.
I have spent the past 5 years since I left completely, striving to find who I really am. I second guess everything I do, I constantly think "what would AARC/Dr. Vause think", because I believe that he was the end all and be all of my life. The fact that I felt that way shows that he had way to much power and control over my life.
Trust me when I say, that part of me feels horrible about the things I say, sometimes it feels better to ignore things. But I've done that to long. I need to be heard when I say that some of the things that I witnessed (especially in girls rap) have haunted me. To have to talk so specifically in a group of people about some of the things that were talked about, in my opinion is wrong and shaming. Some of the things I heard from others I can never get out of my head.
Being told by a clinical "being gay is a disease, like being an alcoholic, they're sick, they need help" definitely didn't help me.
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