Sometimes, when I was a long-term oldtimer, early to mid-twenties, 'straight' for five years or more, and I would look at all the attractive, young kids at the Seed, and I would think - what are we doing! These are supposed to be happy days of being young, falling in love, learning about sex! It's the garden of eden, and we are all acting like polyester amish or something, singing zipadee doo daa with a middle-aged man with a ukelele!
Then I'd remember what a fuck-up I was, and return to furtive fantisies.