Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Dear Art,
jgar:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-07 11:53:00, Antigen wrote:
"Lauderdale, maybe our buddies here are right about us. I sort of played it the same way on my program to the extent that I thought prudent. I never overtly broke a rule or dissented or disrupted things in any way. My mission and strategy was to prove that I was quite straight enough, thank you, and could take anything they had to dish out w/o flinching. But when it came down to things like food restrictions and other nasty deeds in the host home to enforce compliance in group, I'd take my chances and throw down the gauntlet w/ old staffisms like "leave group in the building". I don't remember ever having been called down on things like that, either.
Here's freedom to him who would read;
Here's freedom to him who would write;
None ever feared that the truth should be heard,
But them that the truth would indict.
--author unknown (circa 1914)
--- End quote ---
--- End quote ---
"Hey Ginger,
There were some basic differences in the why?s we did things during our time while we were on the program. I do not mean this with any type of disrespect to you and I can clearly see the origins of your attitudes toward this matter. Perhaps if I had an over domineering mother looking for a place to be a cure all for her young child I might have adopted your same attitude.
I viewed the Seed as sacred ground because I credit it for teaching me valuable lessons in which I still apply and use as my basic foundation. I remember (As a distant memory) the despair and hopelessness I lived with and the only thing that would clear up my confusing was by getting numb toward my overwhelming insecurities and (by than) full blown fears and phobias. I took what was talked about as very important and applied to the best of my abilities. what I was taught and. with what I learned and I noticed as I applied these things so I began to change. I began to laugh and smile again and feel secure with who I was (something that I was never able to do and nothing short of a miracle).
My motives were not just to comply but to understand and to actually change. I honestly enjoyed the people and the companionship. Thought what was being talked about was actually important.
I?ve posted here many times the reasons why I left, the various flaws and hypocrisies that I witnessed during my time and I will be the first to admit I still have a crazy side but, overall the Seed did what it was suppose to do and for that I am forever grateful.
I can go on but it?s Friday. (Happy Columbus Day :smokin: :smokin:
Anonymous:
Dear Art,
I held my load for 11 years because of you. I didn't masturbate because I was living with a bunch of guys that would have frankly beat my ass over in those apartments if I even mentioned my cock except in the context of how awfull it was to have sex back on the streets, how degrading and humiliating. So I stuffed it for years.
I coped to be sure. I played tennis, golfed, played ping pong, swam, anything and everything to relieve the tension and to take my mind off of the fact that my sexuality was dying a slow death. Sure, I got good at most of those things but something was missing and I was getting this huge knot in my groin area. Meanwhile, I was cooped up with a bunch of men every day and every night and made to feel guilty whenever I even looked at a woman. Talk about a confused message!
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I split. The first night I was free I was in the motel 6 up in Boca Grande on my way home to see my family that I hadn't spoke to in years. I was sleeping pretty peacefully I must admit and in my dream I saw a beautiful young lady and realized that yes, I was alone and safe from the judgement of all those guys and SPROONG. Quickly I relieved myself and splatted all over. GROSS! I lost 2 pounds right then and there and almost blew my head off.
I knew once again I was back to the land of normal and never did I let a day go buy that I didn't think of sex.
You guys should rot in hell for making me hold that load.
Signed.
Skippy
Thom:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-07 14:40:00, jgar wrote:
"
--- Quote ---
On 2005-10-07 11:53:00, Antigen wrote:
"Lauderdale, maybe our buddies here are right about us. I sort of played it the same way on my program to the extent that I thought prudent. I never overtly broke a rule or dissented or disrupted things in any way. My mission and strategy was to prove that I was quite straight enough, thank you, and could take anything they had to dish out w/o flinching. But when it came down to things like food restrictions and other nasty deeds in the host home to enforce compliance in group, I'd take my chances and throw down the gauntlet w/ old staffisms like "leave group in the building". I don't remember ever having been called down on things like that, either.
Here's freedom to him who would read;
Here's freedom to him who would write;
None ever feared that the truth should be heard,
But them that the truth would indict.
--author unknown (circa 1914)
--- End quote ---
--- End quote ---
"Hey Ginger,
There were some basic differences in the why?s we did things during our time while we were on the program. I do not mean this with any type of disrespect to you and I can clearly see the origins of your attitudes toward this matter. Perhaps if I had an over domineering mother looking for a place to be a cure all for her young child I might have adopted your same attitude.
I viewed the Seed as sacred ground because I credit it for teaching me valuable lessons in which I still apply and use as my basic foundation. I remember (As a distant memory) the despair and hopelessness I lived with and the only thing that would clear up my confusing was by getting numb toward my overwhelming insecurities and (by than) full blown fears and phobias. I took what was talked about as very important and applied to the best of my abilities. what I was taught and. with what I learned and I noticed as I applied these things so I began to change. I began to laugh and smile again and feel secure with who I was (something that I was never able to do and nothing short of a miracle).
My motives were not just to comply but to understand and to actually change. I honestly enjoyed the people and the companionship. Thought what was being talked about was actually important.
I?ve posted here many times the reasons why I left, the various flaws and hypocrisies that I witnessed during my time and I will be the first to admit I still have a crazy side but, overall the Seed did what it was suppose to do and for that I am forever grateful.
I can go on but it?s Friday. (Happy Columbus Day :smokin: :smokin:
"
--- End quote ---
I'll second that. (except for the Columbus Day thing, because I'm not Columbian)
Thom:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-07 14:48:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Dear Art,
I held my load for 11 years because of you. I didn't masturbate because I was living with a bunch of guys that would have frankly beat my ass over in those apartments if I even mentioned my cock except in the context of how awfull it was to have sex back on the streets, how degrading and humiliating. So I stuffed it for years.
I coped to be sure. I played tennis, golfed, played ping pong, swam, anything and everything to relieve the tension and to take my mind off of the fact that my sexuality was dying a slow death. Sure, I got good at most of those things but something was missing and I was getting this huge knot in my groin area. Meanwhile, I was cooped up with a bunch of men every day and every night and made to feel guilty whenever I even looked at a woman. Talk about a confused message!
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I split. The first night I was free I was in the motel 6 up in Boca Grande on my way home to see my family that I hadn't spoke to in years. I was sleeping pretty peacefully I must admit and in my dream I saw a beautiful young lady and realized that yes, I was alone and safe from the judgement of all those guys and SPROONG. Quickly I relieved myself and splatted all over. GROSS! I lost 2 pounds right then and there and almost blew my head off.
I knew once again I was back to the land of normal and never did I let a day go buy that I didn't think of sex.
You guys should rot in hell for making me hold that load.
Signed.
Skippy"
--- End quote ---
Keep coming, Skippy!
GregFL:
:wave: :grin: :grin:
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