Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Dear Art,
cleveland:
Ginger,
I can't imagine being a little kid and being around the Seed. I rarely hear you talk about the feelings of excitement, closeness, and 'we're changing the world!' but you must have felt some of that, too. I know I did as a cynical 19 yer old. Lauderdale feels that to this day. But anyway, there is a reason that we all became Seedlings, it was very attractive to us to be a part of something and to stand against society. And also we were scared of the alternatives. But you were a kid, so it was a very different thing for you.
I try to remember that at one time, I really believed (or tried hard to believe) everything I learned at the Seed. The fact that I question those things now, and believe that many of the rules and unsaid behaviors that I followed then were wrong or only half-right; that doesn't change the fact for me that I was a part of it. I believed it; I lived it. (Greg really captured the feeling of it in his first post about riding down the street in his oldcomer's car with a Seed Loves You plate and with his smokes rolled into his sleeve. Great post, Greg!)
But anyway, I am really the same essential person now as I was when I was telling everybody I loved them and they had to get straight. I wasn't a zombie, I was just being loyal. That was my life. What I do has changed, but who I am has not (hopefully I am a bit wiser). Do you know what I mean?
So, I can't be all, 'The Seed Sucks' or 'I love the Seed' - I did love it, and it sucked. Make sense?
Anyway, you were a kid, so it was different I am sure.
W
Ft. Lauderdale:
Antigen, I really can't understand your question and you said ..."So thank you, Art, for sharing your wisdumb and worldview. If it hadn't been for you, I might have just grown up like a normal kid and, like most our former family friends and neighbors, graduated highschool, married a local boy, raised kids, gone into business, etc. I must say (and I'm only being half snide here) this path has been, by far and away, more interesting, even if it has probably been more difficult. Either way, here I am today. I wouldn't want to change one detail for fear of never even knowing the joys of living the life I have now."...
I'm being serious, with everything that was going on in your family do you really think you would have had just a regular old everyday childhood and Beave & Wally would have just been the big brothers you always wanted and Ward and June would have given you her pearls someday? I'm not being sarcastic. I think things still would have been wierd. I'm glad I got out of my family when I did and glad I got reinvolved when I did. I remember my father before he went to AA calling me at the seed because I quit college and he was telling me I was suicidal over and over again between burps. I told him to Fu-- off. I had nothing to do with him for a couple of years. My own mother ripped me off of a small trust fund. I didn't spk to her for years either. Its all water under the bridge now. It seems like that was another lifetime. My family was never normal. My mom was in and out of nuthouses when I was a kid. She'll be 80 this year more sane than ever. I don't get it. She just needed a few bucks in her pocket to make her feel right about herself and believe me it really made the difference somehow.
Normal what the fu-- is that?
I guess I have it as normal as ever now and like you I would not trade a minute of it for what I have now. So maybe that is the Middle ground.
Greg, this may seem odd, but I know we would have been friends at the seed. I like you too. I said it before. You have just the right amount of smart ass to be fun. (Ok maybe a little too much)
Ft. Lauderdale:
Sorry for all the stuff Walt. I just hated the fake letters.
GregFL:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-06 13:17:00, cleveland wrote:
"Ginger,
I can't imagine being a little kid and being around the Seed. I rarely hear you talk about the feelings of excitement, closeness, and 'we're changing the world!' but you must have felt some of that, too. I know I did as a cynical 19 yer old. Lauderdale feels that to this day. But anyway, there is a reason that we all became Seedlings, it was very attractive to us to be a part of something ...
--- End quote ---
You are from a different era and of a different age than most of us from the early 70s.
The average seedling in the seed's heyday, and 1973/74 Was the seed's heydey, was a kid involuntarity held against his will about 15 or 16 years of age. There were also the exceptions, young adults up to say 22 (usually court ordered for serious offenses) and kids as young as 9.
But the seed once upon a time was really almost entirely non-addicted kids being held against their will because they were "druggies". All that idealism quickly vanished on graduation when the average seedling tried to regain his or her life and fit in with junior or high school life.
(they admitted somewhere around HALF of all seedlings EVER admitted during this time).
GregFL:
--- Quote ---On 2005-10-06 13:36:00, Ft. Lauderdale wrote:
"Sorry for all the stuff Walt. I just hated the fake letters."
--- End quote ---
And I really thought they were GREAT!
:grin:
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