Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Hyde Schools
follow-up questions on Hyde School
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-11-11 12:39:00, Anonymous wrote:
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On 2005-11-11 03:19:00, Anonymous wrote:
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On 2005-11-10 23:25:00, Anonymous wrote:
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--- Quote ---There was a parent in our "region" who went to an FLC and came back needing to go to the doctor who then put him on strong meds! The doctor told him that because of the trauma he was forced to dig up at the school, he was in dire need of a psychologist at once! I am not exaggerating about this one bit! I was told first hand.
This father ended up having to go on anti-anxiety drugs. It was clear that Hyde had pushed him too far to an area of his life that Hyde was not prepared or capable of dealing with and neither was the husband.
--- End quote ---
Funny thing, perspective. I actually have no problem with this. People only dig up what they want to dig up, and if it was that traumatic (what he dug up) that he had to go on meds, the real question is, where is he today? That someone has to go on meds as a result of a realization about their past is fairly routine stuff and not in and of itself, evidence of abuse. And when that level of stuff comes up, it doesn't get resolved over night. Sounds like it was profoundly deep, he sought professional help, and I would hope for him that his life took a dramatic turn at that point which he doesn't regret.
Point being, we don't know what happened and the conclusion that Hyde "pushed him too far" is fairly self-serving. You might also say, Hyde opened a door and he stepped through it....but in my experience, no one goes anywhere that deep until they are ready."
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Your comment is the prototypical "What Hyde made you do was good for you, so don't complain" response. This is what is driving so many people from Hyde, and for good reason.
The fact -- and I assure you it's a fact -- is that many people have been deeply traumatized by Hyde staff's incredibly unskilled handling of complex emotional and intimate disclosures during FLCs. Hyde's model is so out of step with the rest of the world. Picture this composite scenario: an FLC in Bath where a child is exposed to discussion about how his father was once his mother and underwent a sex change operation. This discussion occurs in front of 15 or so other people. The kid freaks out, feels over-exposed, and deeply embarrassed; by the way, this is a student who got kicked out of his local school because of severe behavioral and mental health issues. Other parents and students squirm in their seats wondering whether they should be privy to this sort of detail. The kid's two parents are screaming hateful comments at each other. All this is being handled by a 23 year-old Hyde teacher who admits she barely made it through college but has done lots of hard work on herself. She has absolutely no training in mental health or group therapy. Some people walk out of that seminar shaking and crying.
No one in his or her right mind should find that scenario acceptable. It's called abusive and negligent. Period. Hyde should be put out of business. No parent should subject his or her child, or him or herself, to that craziness. If Joe Gauld, et al. find this defensible, they're living in a dream world."
--- End quote ---
Wow. Amazing story. That said, I have to put the bad on that one in the parents failure to handle the situation maturely and responsibly.
You can blame Hyde for pulling it out of him/her, but as I said before, IMHO no one says shit they aren't ready to, and that who knows what was going on for this parent. Maybe it was eating at their insides and they finally blurted it out. Who knows why they did it.
I also have no doubt the Hyde staff probably had little clue how to deal with that one, so if the person finally felt safe in that context because of Hyde's pushing/urging to open up, they bear some responsibility as well.
Fundamentally, however, I place primary responsibility on the parent for that one however. What were they thinking?
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Perhaps the parents bear some modest responsibility for choosing to share this information in the seminar. But, the bottom line is that Hyde's destructive and negligent model is designed to elicit this kind of self-disclosure. The peer pressure and brainwashing are tremendous influences. In the end, Hyde must accept that it lays the foundation for these very inappropriate scenes. Hyde staff know that the seminars often entail intense, intimate self-disclosure that leads to conflict, emotional distress, and so on. The fact that Hyde promotes and encourages these exchanges is pure negligence, particularly when the group facilitators are so incredibly unskilled and untrained when it comes to handling such complicated mental health issues.
The above scenario may be somewhat extraordinary, but I have witnessed countless others in FLCs and family weekend seminars that, while not as extreme, are just as disturbing (family members yelling at each other, people breaking down emotionally, etc.). If Hyde staff had any conscience, they would be ashamed of themselves for allowing and encouraging this kind of negligence. Hyde's lack of self awareness is very disturbing. Isn't it ironic that Hyde preaches the importance of self awareness and humility when its own conduct is just the opposite?
Anonymous:
This is a typical Hyde response. When it comes time for Hyde to take responsibility for their negligence, they somehow turn it on the parents.
Truth about this incident is that Hyde encourages and pushes parents to come out with these very personal stories. You can't understand how it works unless you have been in one of these seminars.
I was guilty of trying to push other parents when I was a "Hyde fan" and feel ashamed now. I had no right to do this and no training to be in the position I and every parent was put in. When it is someone else's turn to talk about themselves it is expected that you give feedback. If you don't give feedback you are faulted by the other parents and especially the facilitators who are normally the Hyde staff.
I am so sorry for any pain I caused any students or parents by believing I was qualified to deal with people's emotions. I got caught up in the Hyde Cult, but thank God I got out. My advice is to not even get started!
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-11-11 19:23:00, Anonymous wrote:
IMHO no one says shit they aren't ready to
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Unless, of course, they're subjected to undue influence. It's a legal term. Look it up.
Other anon, how did the staff respond? Did they put a stop to it? Or did they encourage it? Or did they just seem perplexed? Why did the other squirming parents not stand up and put a stop to it?
A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special
--Nelson Mandela
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_________________
Drug war POW
Straight, Sarasota
`80 - `82
Anonymous:
Perhaps the parents bear some modest responsibility for choosing to share this information in the seminar. But, the bottom line is that Hyde's destructive and negligent model is designed to elicit this kind of self-disclosure. The peer pressure and brainwashing are tremendous influences. In the end, Hyde must accept that it lays the foundation for these very inappropriate scenes. Hyde staff know that the seminars often entail intense, intimate self-disclosure that leads to conflict, emotional distress, and so on. The fact that Hyde promotes and encourages these exchanges is pure negligence, particularly when the group facilitators are so incredibly unskilled and untrained when it comes to handling such complicated mental health issues.
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After being in many seminars at Hyde, (FLC's, family weekends) IMHO the parents don't bare any responsibility for this encounter. Hyde absolutely promotes this type of encounter and in fact there is a sick voyereurism that exists at Hyde. Hyde will accuse you of holding back if you don't divulge all your personal "secrets" and there will be tremendous peer pressure put on you.
This is why so many parents completely walk away from Hyde after dropping out or graduating. Most parents feel ashamed by what is known by perfect strangers about themselves. It is psychologically humiliating knowing that these strangers are aware of every detail in your life. Being a part of Hyde means stripping away every last detail of ones personal life in front of not only other parents, but young kids and their sisters and brothers. What in the world is a 50 year old doing telling a bunch of kids about infidelity, homosexuality, former drug use, and suicidal tendencies? Sorry, but I do consider this child abuse when children are exposed and forced to hear these things. The students do not have a choice. They are not allowed to walk out of these seminars or they will be punished.
Parents beware! Yes, Hyde is all the things you are reading about in these posts, and yes Hyde does work for some, but at what cost?
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-11-12 04:31:00, Anonymous wrote:
"
Perhaps the parents bear some modest responsibility for choosing to share this information in the seminar. But, the bottom line is that Hyde's destructive and negligent model is designed to elicit this kind of self-disclosure. The peer pressure and brainwashing are tremendous influences. In the end, Hyde must accept that it lays the foundation for these very inappropriate scenes. Hyde staff know that the seminars often entail intense, intimate self-disclosure that leads to conflict, emotional distress, and so on. The fact that Hyde promotes and encourages these exchanges is pure negligence, particularly when the group facilitators are so incredibly unskilled and untrained when it comes to handling such complicated mental health issues.
************************************************************************************************
After being in many seminars at Hyde, (FLC's, family weekends) IMHO the parents don't bare any responsibility for this encounter. Hyde absolutely promotes this type of encounter and in fact there is a sick voyereurism that exists at Hyde. Hyde will accuse you of holding back if you don't divulge all your personal "secrets" and there will be tremendous peer pressure put on you.
This is why so many parents completely walk away from Hyde after dropping out or graduating. Most parents feel ashamed by what is known by perfect strangers about themselves. It is psychologically humiliating knowing that these strangers are aware of every detail in your life. Being a part of Hyde means stripping away every last detail of ones personal life in front of not only other parents, but young kids and their sisters and brothers. What in the world is a 50 year old doing telling a bunch of kids about infidelity, homosexuality, former drug use, and suicidal tendencies? Sorry, but I do consider this child abuse when children are exposed and forced to hear these things. The students do not have a choice. They are not allowed to walk out of these seminars or they will be punished.
Parents beware! Yes, Hyde is all the things you are reading about in these posts, and yes Hyde does work for some, but at what cost?"
--- End quote ---
You took the words right out of my mouth. It sounds like we've had very similar experiences at Hyde. Our family is so disenchanted with Hyde that we've looked for other schools. At a recent visit with another school we met with the headmaster. During the conversation the headmaster asked us about our child's current school and we told him about Hyde. The headmaster hesitated, looked at us, rolled his eyes and said we didn't need to go into detail. He told us he's heard so many Hyde stories from distressed parents.
The headmaster also described a meeting he attended of boarding school administrators that some Hyde staff attended. The headmaster said he had to leave the room when he heard some Hyde administrator (I don't know which one) pontificating. He said he couldn't handle Hyde's doctrinaire approach. The headmaster's comments confirmed what we had concluded about Hyde's perverse model and disturbing reputation. We sure wish we had known about this website when we were considering Hyde. Any parent considering Hyde should know these facts.
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