Why Are Struggling Parents Such An Easy Mark?

[Anonymous]

Regarding transports.

Seems to me if these programs are so wonderful, kids would willingly go, ergo parents would have no need to hire someone to kidnap and escort their child.

More likely what's really going on is the admission reps are convincing parents to hire an "escort" (someone that works for the program or is affiliated with them) as a means of facilitating a quick transition (and closing the deal).

Kids who are at risk of harming themselves or another belong in a psychiatric hospital for intensive care and therapy, and even then, most kids are held only 90 days in a locked ward.

They don't belong on an island being cared for by untrained people.

[Anonymous]

" Regarding transports.

Seems to me if these programs are so wonderful, kids would willingly go, ergo parents would have no need to hire someone to kidnap and escort their child. "

Without getting into inflammatory words like kidnap ... the remark misses the point that the kids don't do what their parents want, much less tell them to do.  And, at any decent program/school or psych hospital the kid won[t want to comply either - or work to improve themselves instead of just get out.  So what kind of help would a kid have to want?

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-26 12:32:00, Anonymous wrote:

"" Regarding transports.



Seems to me if these programs are so wonderful, kids would willingly go, ergo parents would have no need to hire someone to kidnap and escort their child. "



Without getting into inflammatory words like kidnap ... the remark misses the point that the kids don't do what their parents want, much less tell them to do.  And, at any decent program/school or psych hospital the kid won[t want to comply either - or work to improve themselves instead of just get out.  So what kind of help would a kid have to want?





"

Inflammatory Words? KIDNAP is what escorts do.  They KIDNAP kids for hire.

Sheesh.  You must be a program (or ex program) parent who hired some thugs to "escort" your child out of their home and into one of these hellcamps.

[TheWho]

Inflammatory Words? KIDNAP is what escorts do.  They KIDNAP kids for hire.



Sheesh.  You must be a program (or ex program) parent who hired some thugs to "escort" your child out of their home and into one of these hellcamps.



"

I think you missed it, How many kids would go to a TBS if asked (raise your hands).... I thought so and so they invented escort services.

[Anonymous]

"The ones who suffered the consequences of being institutionalized in a money-making program, left to fend for themselves with no hope of getting out until their parents ran out of money or they turned 18"

So explain all the ones that stay after they turn 18. Or explain the ones that arrive at 18, and embrace the program. Try to get more realistic please, than "brainwashed" or implying they simply can't leave because Mom and Dad won't let them come home. Young adults make it on their own all the time.  :roll:

[Antigen]

On 2005-09-26 15:01:00, Anonymous wrote:

Young adults make it on their own all the time.  

No, not all the time. I consider myself very lucky to have found the stability and love I needed. It was a difficult choice to make and it has been, by no means, easy making it on my own. It's one thing to have maybe neglectful or difficult parents. It's something else again to be litterally shut out of their home and life at a young age. Leaving the Program made me an apostate to my family. That was over 20 years ago and, sadly, little has changed in that regard.

Government can do something for the people only in proportion as it can do something to the people
http://lfb.com/?stocknumber=FF7485&code=10247' target='_new'> Thomas Jefferson.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-26 15:01:00, Anonymous wrote:

""The ones who suffered the consequences of being institutionalized in a money-making program, left to fend for themselves with no hope of getting out until their parents ran out of money or they turned 18"



So explain all the ones that stay after they turn 18. Or explain the ones that arrive at 18, and embrace the program. Try to get more realistic please, than "brainwashed" or implying they simply can't leave because Mom and Dad won't let them come home. Young adults make it on their own all the time.  :roll: "

Tell me, are you just terribly naive or dumb as rocks?

Embrace the program?  What is that ... new age talk for emotional dependency on a bunch of knuckleheads who think they have a "calling" for helping troubled youth?

Man, I hope you don't have kids.  

 :roll:

[Anonymous]

Struggling parents, as a general rule, are either afraid of, or for their children.  They have lost control and will do anything to get it back, even if it means killing their own child's spirit and robbing them of their innocence.  

Pathological Parenting.  That's what's going on here.  The parents are sick but their children are the ones being forced into "treatment".

Ever meet a programized parent you liked?

Didn't think so.

[Anonymous]

actually, yes, five,ten if you count husband and wife, off the top of my head.  All good, decent people that tried everything.  Their children left them no options.  Two of those families' children are greatful for the  drastic measures taken and both have been out of the programs for over 6 years and are very successful aduts. One child there for drug issues another for just continuous rebellious behavior that was illegal.(different programs, different families) The other 3 families, the verdict is still out on if the programs selected were good/successful or not.

[Anonymous]

Boy, did you hit the nail on the head...PATHOLOGICAL PARENTING, is what it's all about, and there are a lot of them out there. They are the ones who humiliate their children in public, give their child's ideas no respect and discourage open dialogue because in their eyes, it is disrespectful. Their kids are always grounded from social activities, phone useage, T.V., and the computer. Their children have few friends and are unhappy with themselves, school and life in general. For these inept, self-centered parents, residential facilities are truly a match made in Hell. These people are disgusting and should be held out to the public for what they are...child abusers by proxy.
quote]
On 2005-09-26 16:25:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Struggling parents, as a general rule, are either afraid of, or for their children.  They have lost control and will do anything to get it back, even if it means killing their own child's spirit and robbing them of their innocence.  



Pathological Parenting.  That's what's going on here.  The parents are sick but their children are the ones being forced into "treatment".



Ever meet a programized parent you liked?



Didn't think so.





"
[/quote]

[Anonymous]

the families I know are nothing like the parents you talk about.  These families all have other children as well.  The other children did not go to programs or need programs.  The parents are not self center or inept.  They are family centered and very competent.  They took the actions needed to preserve their children and their families.

[BuzzKill]

//Accountable to who, Buzzkill asks?

Well, for starters, how about your children?//

OK - fine - that's what I wanted to know.
I agree, BTW - that the parents are accountable to the kids - as well as the kids being accountable to the parents. In most cases, there is plenty of "blame" to be shared.

//The parents are not self center or inept. They are family centered and very competent. They took the actions needed to preserve their children and their families.//

I do think this is largely true - but even so, they often make terrible decisions based on faulty information.

[Anonymous]

If the parents had taken charge of the parenting when the children were 2 and 3 years old, this wouldn't be happening. There is no excuse for allowing a 3 year old to "run the show". A firm hand when they are little will allow both parent and child to be happier when they are teens. The parent knows they will get respect, and the teen knows the boundaries and knows their parents care enough to set limits on behavior. You cannot wait until the child is 15 and skipping school, doing drugs and cursing out their parents to make the changes. The damage is done at that point and it will be up to the child to change themselves or suffer their own consequences when they are adults and think the world OWES them something. You are not doing a child any favors by giving them everything they whine for.

[Anonymous]

The families mentioned earlier did the whole great parenting thing.  Boundries, goals, opportunities, discipline, educational and social opportunities.  One of the succesful graduates families has 4 children.  Their second son just was bent on not cooperating with family.  He is now grateful for his families intevention and helping him learn how to deal with his defiance.  Until you know the family, the children, the circumstances....you just don't know.  Each experience is individual.  Not one program is great for all kids.  Not one parenting style works for everyone.  Not all parents that send their kids to programs hate their kids and are trying to harm them.  Don't lump parents into one group.  Just as kids should be treated on an individual basis, so should the parents.  Parents are accountable for their actions towards their children, just as children are accountable for their actions towards their family.  We are all accountable for our OWN actions!  No one makes us make wrong decisions.  We do it all by ourselves, parents and children.

[Deprogrammed]

On 2005-09-26 17:31:00, Anonymous wrote:

"actually, yes, five,ten if you count husband and wife, off the top of my head.  All good, decent people that tried everything.  Their children left them no options.  Two of those families' children are greatful for the  drastic measures taken and both have been out of the programs for over 6 years and are very successful aduts. One child there for drug issues another for just continuous rebellious behavior that was illegal.(different programs, different families) The other 3 families, the verdict is still out on if the programs selected were good/successful or not.

"

Just a gentle note: NEWSFLASH: /just because somebody becomes a "successful" adult does not make it correct necessarily that a "program or "the program" is responsible at all or in part for that persons success. Kids mature naturally....young adults grow up...maybe there are some factors within the human existence that ye are forgetting about!
warm regards,
-DP

I don't think we're here for anything, we're just products of evolution. You can say 'Gee, your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose' but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
--Dr. James Watson, American biologist

[ This Message was edited by: Deprogrammed on 2005-09-26 18:44 ]

p.s. let us also not forget that the word "success" is subjective...may mean many different things to many different people![ This Message was edited by: Deprogrammed on 2005-09-26 18:46 ]