I had had Straight hanging over me since Halloween of 1977. I was on probation for accessory to burglary and had kept my nose clean pretty much. I made it all the way until the end of school and then started hanging with a new crowd of people that lived in a large mobile home complex called Kings Manor. I also had aquired 2 new lawnmowing accounts that tipped my services with a small bag of pot when I cut their lawns.
I would go over and play football and stuff, and hang out with chicks that would'nt have given me the time of day when school was still in session, and I was really looking forward to entering the 11th grade at Pinellas Park High at the end of summer. All along, I had been hiding my stash in
a Polaroid Instamatic camera and even had the film strip hanging out of it. I thought it was foolproof. Who would open a camera with film in it right?
My stepbrother was placed in the program in November of '77 for the same burglary charge and my mom had been attending Open Meetings all of that time up until school had gotten out. As
a part of her "Awareness Training" she learned where kids keep their stashes and it was'nt long before she finally found mine.
On a bright clear Saturday morning, June 16th 1978, I packed 3 days worth of cloths into a beat up blue suitcase along with some other shit.
To give you an idea of just how damn compliant I was to the whole thing, I was given a list of things that I could bring with me into the program. One of them was a Bible. It would be the only reading material allowed We were also allowed 2 packs of cigarettes a week, 10 rolls of life savers, astringent or Stridex, a rubber comb or small hairbrush, pads of notebook paper for M.I.'s, some pens and toothpaste and toothbrush.
My mom drove me there in her small pick-up
and as Starkey Road turned into Park Street, the old Gerry Rafferty song "Baker Street" came on the radio. That was the last song I heard until October of that year. We walked inside the doors of that hellhole as if we were going to a church retreat or some shit. They whisked me off into a room and started right off with the rules of the program and stuff. They asked me if I felt like running away. I said "Where to?, my parents won't take me, and I'm too young to live on my own, so if I don't like it here, I guess I'll have to make y'all kick me out, then I'll become a ward of the state. I was trying to act tough and then they brought in a guy named Don, who had a face that looked like he sharpened axe blades with it and he proceeded to tell me all the joys and wonders of HRS custody and JDC facilities.
After about a half hour, the door opened and a lady straight out of a Nazi Prison Movie steps in. Up until that point, I had signed every damn paper placed in front of me. Her blazing blue eyes gave me the once over and I felt as if I were being X-rayed. Her name was Helen Petermann, and she was the stuff of legend in the backwood smoke spots, and vacant lot beer parties of Largo. Some said she was a Nazi or Russian interrogator at one time. Others said she had sex with horses. On the outside, among druggie circles, she was known as "Frau Blooker"
based on the character played by Cloris Leachman in the Mel Brooks film 'Young Frankenstein.'
She picked up all the paperwork and seemed
to be very pleased. I asked her for a drink of water, and they actually brought me one. A guy I knew from high school and a girl I barely knew came in and started talking to me about what the average day is like and what will be expected of me. The girl looked like she had spent alot of time in a bottle of formaldehyde or something.
After this, I was allowed out of the room. For some reason, they did'nt do the beltloop shit, but Don was the size of a gorilla, and had a hand the size of a baseball glove firmly on my shoulder
as I was led in front of group. After introductions, I was completely blown away and unprepared for 500 plus kids all shouting "Love You Bob!" As they led me to my seat, I looked all around and yelled back, "Yeah Right!!" I put up with the heat, lack of adequate water and food,
but when I stood up in Homes Rap 3 days later, asked for talk, then was told that I had been placed under a Court Program and could not request anything for another 2 weeks, it was like pushing the launch button for the Space Shuttle
Three Stooges, I had all systems go, and it was time to be the best fuckin Jerk on the planet.
