PTSD Hell

[Nonconformistlaw]

Okay, PTSD is really frustrating. My head just isn't right...as in, I cant read anything lengthy or complicated. Cant concentrate at all...my attention span lasts for a few minutes tops. I'm not used to me head being so screwed up. So I cant work or read for school.

So, today I started a 90-day medical leave of absence from work.  Thankfully, my employer allows this (unpaid of course). Oh and I wont be able to finish classes either...I'll never be able to get caught up this semseter. So now I also have to put off graduation until next spring. Which means I will now have even more school debt, which is out of control as it is.

Does anyone know if 3 months is going to be long enough to pull it back together?

I'm worried about what will happen if I still cant work at the end of 90 days. I have to be functional, as in able to read and comprehend heavy shit and also be able to produce a coherent work product by late December or else I'm in deep shit...I might then lose my job, just for starters.

Also....for those of you who have receieved treatment for PTSD, how helpful are the meds? I'm worried about taking anything but at the same time I cant stand what I wreck I am with all this emotional shit flooding back. I cant stand feeling so god damn dysfunctional.

I'm also exhausted  most of the time, especially after talking to my counselor or to anyone on the phone. Does this ever get better?

I dont know...I guess I just want to know that there is hope and that PTSD wont kick my ass for too long. I hate not feeling like myself and being sad all the time (among other things).

[Anonymous]

Okay, PTSD is pow'ful frestratin'. Mah haid jest ain't right...as in, ah cant read ennythin' len'thy o' complicated, cuss it all t' tarnation. Kint corncentrate at all, ah reckon...mah attenshun span lasts fo' a few minutes tops. ah's not used t'me haid bein' so screwed up. So ah cant wawk o' read fo' skoo. So, today ah started a 90-day medical leave of absence fum wawk. Thankfully, mah employer allers this hyar (unpaid of course). Oh an' ah wont be able t'finish classes eifer...I'll nevah be able t'git caught up this hyar semseter. So now ah also hafta put off graduashun until next sprin'. Which means ah will now haf even mo'e skoo debt, which is outta corntrol as it is. Does ennyone knows if 3 months is a-gonna be long inough t'pull it back togither? ah's wo'ried about whut will happen eff'n ah still kint wawk at th' end of 90 days. ah have t'be funckshunal, as in able t'read an' comprehend heavy shit an' also be able t'prodooce a coharnt wawk produck by late December o' else ah's in deep shit...ah might then lose mah job, jest fo' starters. Also....fo' them of yo' who haf receieved treatment fo' PTSD, how he'pful is th' meds? ah's wo'ried about takin' ennythin' but at th' same time ah cant stan' whut ah wreck ah's wif all this hyar emoshunal shit floodin' back. Shet mah mouth! ah cant stan' feelin' so god dadburn dysfunckshunal, ah reckon. ah's also exhaested most of th' time, especially af'er talkin' t'mah counselo' o' t'ennyone on th' phone. Does this hyar evah git better? ah dont know...ah guess ah jest be hankerin' t'knows thet thar is hope an' thet PTSD wont kick mah ass fo' too long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! ah hate not feelin' like mahse'f an' bein' sad all th' time (among other thin's).

[Anonymous]

Check out this link:
http://losangeles.networkofcare.org/mh/ ... cat=search

There are many links to learn more on the treatments
on this disorder. Good luck, read it all, and click on the hyperslinks. You will be on your way.

You have 90 days to make enough progress to get back to work. This article will give you a roadmap.

[Anonymous]

It might not be PTSD.

[Anonymous]

What might the diagnosis be?

[Anonymous]

http://http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/sym/concentration_difficulty.htm

[Woof-a-Doof]

On 2005-09-21 21:44:00, Anonymous wrote:

"What might the diagnosis be?"

A.D.D.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-21 18:42:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Okay, PTSD is pow'ful frestratin'. Mah haid jest ain't right...as in, ah cant read ennythin' len'thy o' complicated, cuss it all t' tarnation. Kint corncentrate at all, ah reckon...mah attenshun span lasts fo' a few minutes tops. ah's not used t'me haid bein' so screwed up. So ah cant wawk o' read fo' skoo. So, today ah started a 90-day medical leave of absence fum wawk. Thankfully, mah employer allers this hyar (unpaid of course). Oh an' ah wont be able t'finish classes eifer...I'll nevah be able t'git caught up this hyar semseter. So now ah also hafta put off graduashun until next sprin'. Which means ah will now haf even mo'e skoo debt, which is outta corntrol as it is. Does ennyone knows if 3 months is a-gonna be long inough t'pull it back togither? ah's wo'ried about whut will happen eff'n ah still kint wawk at th' end of 90 days. ah have t'be funckshunal, as in able t'read an' comprehend heavy shit an' also be able t'prodooce a coharnt wawk produck by late December o' else ah's in deep shit...ah might then lose mah job, jest fo' starters. Also....fo' them of yo' who haf receieved treatment fo' PTSD, how he'pful is th' meds? ah's wo'ried about takin' ennythin' but at th' same time ah cant stan' whut ah wreck ah's wif all this hyar emoshunal shit floodin' back. Shet mah mouth! ah cant stan' feelin' so god dadburn dysfunckshunal, ah reckon. ah's also exhaested most of th' time, especially af'er talkin' t'mah counselo' o' t'ennyone on th' phone. Does this hyar evah git better? ah dont know...ah guess ah jest be hankerin' t'knows thet thar is hope an' thet PTSD wont kick mah ass fo' too long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! ah hate not feelin' like mahse'f an' bein' sad all th' time (among other thin's)."

You a snoop doggie fan....shilzilize it.

[Nonconformistlaw]

I have been diagnosed with PTSD very recently. The counselor is also looking into the possibility of ADD as well....but ADD has not been diagnosed yet. I suspect ADD went undiagnosed as a kid because Straight didn't give a shit about proper diagnosis and treatment. :roll:  I personally think both PTSD and ADD are the problem.

[Anonymous]

http://sanmateo.networkofcare.org/mh/li ... d=hw166083

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-22 08:26:00, Nonconformistlaw wrote:

"I have been diagnosed with PTSD very recently. The counselor is also looking into the possibility of ADD as well....but ADD has not been diagnosed yet. I suspect ADD went undiagnosed as a kid because Straight didn't give a shit about proper diagnosis and treatment. :roll:  I personally think both PTSD and ADD are the problem."

No, the only type of "treatment" dished out at Straight was the one-size-fits-all Stepcult dogma, "Apply your Program".

[Anonymous]

Ironic how the Stepcult causes more and worse problems than it purports to solve.  If any of us had problems like ADD, deprssion, or whatever, the last place we needed to be was Straight....it only made things much, much worse.  Stepcult institutions like Straight are fucked up beyond belief.  In the future, people will look to the Stepcult much as they do being bled by leeches.  I can't count the number of times that Straight staff would proclaim that the Steps could help anybody--drug problem or no--much better than psychiatry, psychology, medicine, or even common sense.  How fucking ridiculous.  About on the level of faith-healer types whop won't take their kids to see a doctor, but will pray over them constantly.  That's the type of shit the Stepcult spawns.

[Nonconformistlaw]

On 2005-09-22 16:40:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Ironic how the Stepcult causes more and worse problems than it purports to solve.  If any of us had problems like ADD, deprssion, or whatever, the last place we needed to be was Straight....it only made things much, much worse.  Stepcult institutions like Straight are fucked up beyond belief."

That was probably my actual problem, ADD and depression, before Straight. Funny, my counselor said something similar...that Straight was the last thing I needed and she said the damage it would cause me was pretty obvious and severe. Mind you she could see this clearly within 30 minutes or less of talking to me for the first time. So this begs the obvious question. If a counselor can determine that Straight was fucked up that fast...why the fuck do so many people buy into Straight's quackary bullshit?  :roll:  

BTW...whoever has posted links...thanks!

[PerfectStraightling]

I'm really sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Something that happened to me when I was in my early twenties is that I started having panic attacks and ... I started having trouble reading. It was really weird, but it didn't last too long, maybe a few months. But for me I think it was severe anxiety. I started having trouble driving too. I started seeing a counselor who thankfully explained it was anxiety, and just knowing that I wasn't just crazy made it get a little better.

Luckily I wasn't working at the time, just going to school, although my grades definitely weren't that great. But I think the thing that is important to realize is that you're not crazy, you're just going through a lot of emotions right now. There's nothing wrong with you.

If you're in school, can you maybe take out some school loans for a semester or something so you don't have to work for a while? You can always pay it back later.

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

The trouble I have to deal with is all of these bugs. They're everywhere! Fucking EVERYWHERE! I spray my apt with raid, I go through 2-3 cans of it a week! I shower three times a day, but they don't come off! Last night I woke up and they were crawling out of my fucking mouth! Roaches, ants, FLEAS, spiders...all over me, all over everything. I can't get rid of them!!! Any advice??