Oh my god, would you please think about the things you say? We defeated the Nazis because we forgave them? People had mass forgiveness rites for the Indians during that whole genocide?
Noodle, you are in your thirties and you have been brainwashed since Straight to think you have a "disease" or problem that nobody could have diagnosed at the age you went into Straight, a "disease" the diagnosis of which is so not based in fact that for the first time in the DSM they had to take a vote on whether or not they were going to call it a mental illness thing. I'll tell you why you believe forgiveness would give you peace, what the hell, I don't mind throwing a wager out there that you got some story burned in your head by Straight that you are totally afraid to question. So you have been going to these 12-step meetings for years, not because you really have drug or alcohol problem, but because you were really hurt as a child, you were in fact crippled with respect to your emotional functioning, and so instead of regarding Normalische Volken as potential friends for the company and enjoyment and needs of secret sharing and personal life problem solving, you thought you especially needed special friends who "really understood" that the lie Straight told you was true, that you were a diseased druggie with a sick twisted mind, that was your disease, and you NEEDED, really needed those meetings. So now that you are in your thirties, you spend your times not on the satisfying projects that many people discipline themselves to and find deep satisfaction in later in life. You remain a grown man in need of a room full of people who are more or less strange in that they also need a room full of people to take a look at their forgiveness functioning, their recognition of anger as an emotion which really ought to be fixed to not be anger, and so on. All the various and sundry truisms like "you are here for a reason", "there is a reason you are here", "my best thinking got me here and therefore i won't think anymore i will ask other people to think for me", and "my sponsor knows me better than I know myself!" The reason for that is that you bare way too embarassingly much, your sponsor might not even realize that. But eww, kid. I'm sorry about all that. They busted you up in Straight, and some folkses see themselves as accomplices rather than textbook victims so they really don't care to press the issue, having been so abused that they believe they were at one with the purpose of the Institution, rather than being destroyed children who's mind were, in fact, enslaved my practiced thought reform and abuse techniques.
But you, and I regret that you will take me as a mean troll, for I assure you of my sincerity when I say I do not love you, I have never met you, you do not love me, this is the internet, and yet, and I wish I could say your name here to give you more impact, but you, my dear, do not deserve the current status of your wrecked life. In which you back down and back down and back down. THAT is what forgiveness is. I would like to suggest to you that you get a clue on just what happened to the mind and spirit of the boy that got left by his parents in a lock-down facility on whichever date it was in true and actual history that you got dumped. Then you will see how Straight so raped your entire life that you have wasted years of your life in the way. Going to 12-step meetings, emasculating yourself in front of strangers. That is for your WIFE, or for private counseling, or close friends. You are strong boy, you fought the cruel institution when you were in there. Be strong enough to see the real history. Your parents are very happy to be getting such long-lasting returns on their initial investment for the purposes of your destruction.
