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Offline Nonconformistlaw

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Good program experiences!
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2005, 10:57:00 AM »
Ah yes....the memories of rampant programing constipation....

A steady diet of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, constipation, and the rite of "passage" in the bathroom witnessed by an upper phaser :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

TSW, that was toooooo funny!  :lol:  :lol:
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Offline Shortbus

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Good program experiences!
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2005, 11:44:00 AM »
After a couple days of eating the same food... beans, rice, trail mix, granola, dried apricots, everyones poo is the same. Or should be. A good instructor needs to ask the students questions about poo and pee. How much, how often, describe it. Because as you know feces are the barometer of your body's wellness. So after a couple days the new kid is starting to freak out and wants to go home because he/she's sick. So what's up you ask? My poo, it's not right. As an instructor you've heard this story sooooooo many times. So you describe their poo for them without seeing it. It's like Dairy Queen softserve but kinda orange? Yeah. That's OK, that's the way it should be. It's from eating stuff like dried apricots every day. After a week or so on trail even the most uptight kids will give long-winded elaborate descriptions of their poo. Most entertaining.

I was thinking about apologizing for the graphic content of this post....... nah.
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Offline Nonconformistlaw

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Good program experiences!
« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2005, 11:46:00 AM »
You don't have to convince me...It was sooo funny because it was oh so true.... ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::  ::bigsmilebounce::

But convincing all the little Happy Trolls out there in program loving land.... well, we know how that goes  ::rainbow::  ::rainbow::
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Offline Shortbus

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« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2005, 12:01:00 PM »
One of my faves is about "consequences" Our program was all about natural consequences. We had a new kid that had shown up from some program in Mexico or Costa Rica. This a couple years ago so I don't remember the name of the program. But he was program savvy and a badass. Lots of chipped teeth from being in fights. So we get to the new site and the kids spread out and set up their tarps. Half hour later he walks up to the instructors tarp and wants to ask a question.

"So what's up?"
"I wanna know about consequences."
"Consequences for what?"
"Jackin off"
My co-instructor and I want to bust a gut but that wouldn't be Ok. So the other instructor who's a guy (Im not) just says its a "private" thing and we dont want to know anything about it.
The last thing the kid says is
"Can I have some tissues?"

Now heres the conversation the other instructor and I have...

"Natural consequences????"
"Well, you fell pretty good afterward but your hand might get kinda sticky"
"And thats why we give you TWO pairs of liner socks"

There were days when I LOVED my job!!!!!!!
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Offline Deborah

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« Reply #19 on: August 08, 2005, 12:21:00 PM »
Speaking of toilet paper. Heard on the Brat Camp program that the kids are given ONE roll of toilet paper that must last a month.

What happens when they run out? Do they use their hand? Socks? Leaves? Mullien leaves? What's the deal and how do they possibly think that anyone can stretch one roll for a month, unless there really are some severely constipated kids.
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Offline Nonconformistlaw

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« Reply #20 on: August 08, 2005, 12:23:00 PM »
Poo hazards..... :exclaim:  :grin:  :grin:

Yes...please do tell about the Martians... :???:
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Offline Shortbus

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« Reply #21 on: August 08, 2005, 12:26:00 PM »
If kids were on solo time, which just meant they were at separate sites and out of the line of vision and sound from one another, we knew as instructors to make your presence known. When walking up on a kid, boy or girl you'd say something loud enough so they knew you were on your way. Cause you know, there aint a whole lot of stuff to do on solo time. Heh heh heh. There was the fifteen year old that told me he was trying to break his record of thirteen times in one day. I just told him he'd have a better chance if he drank lots of water and stayed hydrated.
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Offline Shortbus

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« Reply #22 on: August 08, 2005, 12:29:00 PM »
We had a mystery pooper that wouldnt fess up - or pick it up so everyone lost TP rights. Bark, sticks, snow, mmmmmmm mullen leaves. LEAVES OF THREE LET THEM BE, DO NOT MEDDLE WITH THE LEAVES OF NETTLE.
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Offline Shortbus

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« Reply #23 on: August 08, 2005, 12:33:00 PM »
Some kids got their assignments done and out of the way early on. There were also kids that were in a "holding pattern" waiting to get out. Usually because their seperated parents could not decide on what to do with them next. In some states once a kid is in a program he cant be released UNTIL parents are in agreement - doesnt matter which one has custody.
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Offline Shortbus

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« Reply #24 on: August 08, 2005, 12:35:00 PM »
Oh, so the point was that I had kids that really didnt belong in the program at that point and should have already moved on. Its no different than teaching a classroom of kids. You get twenty five to thirty kids together and they are at lots of different levels.
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Offline Nihilanthic

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« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2005, 01:31:00 PM »
Solo's just some new-agey bullshit about reflection and other eastern bullshit (or whatever) on the surface but probably has the ulterior motive of causing a breakdown from isolation and being left with your anguish - which was pulled to the surface by the 'therapy' there.

But hey, more than likely masturbating is a better use of your time than thinking about bullshit while youre in a program.

I wonder how they handled that in Brat Camp? I would have tried my damnest to hit the camera lens from 10 paces. Wouldn't have had anything else to do...

Creationists make it sound like a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
--Isaac Asimov, Russian-born American author

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Offline Shortbus

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« Reply #26 on: August 08, 2005, 02:47:00 PM »
Yeah, solo time was supposed to be a time for introspection. Not saying whether its good or bad, just part of the program. I think there are times in a persons life when introspection and three days on "solo" is a good thing. But only if you want it to be.
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Offline Deborah

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« Reply #27 on: August 08, 2005, 02:54:00 PM »
Masterbation is 'consequenced' in some programs. WWASP for one, and was discussed in this thread:

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?So ... 9&start=30
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Offline Shortbus

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« Reply #28 on: August 08, 2005, 03:07:00 PM »
Im glad it wasnt consequenced in the programs  worked at...... or maybe it was but never mentioned to me. Its normal, its natural, I just dont wanna know about it. But I was glad someone told me what the girls were doing with carrots on solo time. I definately wasnt gonna cook em if theyd been carried in group gear. AAARRRRRGGGGHHH.
And thats another story!
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Offline Anonymous

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« Reply #29 on: August 08, 2005, 07:25:00 PM »
ok, I have a question, and I'm not trying to be vulgar or crude, I just really am curious.  In wilderness programs, what do girls do when they are on their periods?  Do they get tampons, or do they have to use leaves or tree bark or something?  It must be an awful experience having to walk 10 mile hikes when youre PMSing with cramps so bad it feels someone's tearing your ovaries apart.  Do they get asprin or midol?  probably not.  Anyone know?
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