A post I found while googling HLA. The link has been removed at the author's request:
I stare into the looking glass being careful to not look past the chin or too deeply into the eyes. 'How terribly long have I been alive,' I begin to wonder. My mind churns and like a robot spits out '18 of course. You have been alive for 18 years.' But how can I believe what my mind tells me anymore. I feel like I have lived long enough for two people and not happily either. I feel like I have died over and over and have been brought back to life - every new chaper even more heinous and frivolous than the next. And that is exactly how I live, not by years but by chapters. There was the brief childhood chapter, actually spanning the longest amount of time but agreeing with the natural irony of life, felt like the shortest. Then there was the era of anorexia (each page a different doctor or treatment center). Next came the isolation, followed closely by the compulsive overeating, the bulimia, and then Hidden Lake Academy. Hidden Lake is a chapter within itself - two years locked away in an institution they tried to pass off as a "school." Those idiots, no school packs 9 hours of therapy per week into their normal curriculum. And now I am an adult living in the mind of a child. I know of real things like emotion, addiction, communication, art and intuition, but I have no clue when it comes to the things that humans have thought up. The most intimidating things like bills and work, society and media. I can't handle living in a society that mistakes wealth for instant happiness and popularity for undeniable enrichment. However, I've been stolen from myself and placed into this decaying society. I can't help it, I must conform.
[ This Message was edited by: Deborah on 2005-08-24 11:36 ]
