My daughter is only 11 ( she will be turning 12 at the camp!!). She was failing the last semester of 6th grade and having problems with her step mother. Other than that she is a normal happy, heallthy, loving, 11 year old diagnosed with ODD (opositional defiant disorder ) and her Dad sent her to this camp.. I am aching for information on anyone whos child has been throught the 11 to 13 year old camp and how they come out. PLEASE... PLEASE .will someone respond..Or if your child is there now, I would LOVE to here from you..I have NEVER felt this kind of pain!! I
Response:
Eleven is young, yes, but many of the problems our children face are ten years ahead of their age. Perhaps you are saving her--and yourself---from future years of difficulty.
Truthfully, I think all of our children would benefit from wilderness camp---and I mean ALL of them. Learning to reflect on their lives, live without TV, Ipods, computers and all the rest of it would be great for any teenager or child. The world has become such a complicated place, and our children have become complicated, too.
I know how you are feeling, but you will calm down and feel better as the days pass. I didn't think I'd make it past the first afternoon!
Next response:
MO
My son is 14. He is in the young group also and just had his birthday at camp. He also was sent to camp because he was failing the 7th grade and he was ot having trouble with his step mother, (I am his step -mother) but having some issues with dealing with his real mother. We are very much in the same boat.
We first asked ourselves if we were going to extreme by sending him off to camp but MH was right. We are catching the problem early. If you had waited to send her in a few years, you caould have been looking at a more serious case than what she is in now.
My son will be coming home in a week. He will have been there for six weeks and we are still getting the letters that ask for us to hurry up and come get him but as the weeks go by, they are less desperate and you can hear a confidence in his emotions that we have never seen in him. It will be hard for your daughter and there will be days when you want to rush up there and get her but resist. This camp will not cause any more harm to her and will definately help. If nothing else is gotten from it, she will have more confidence and a better head on her shoulders when she returns. I know she seems young for this but really, when you ask yourself what the alternative would be, it is the best way to go. If we hadn't gotten our son help, I'm sure the power struggle would have gotten worse, he would have to change schools due to not passing. (He goes to a private school which he is very capable of handling but was not applying himself.) and his lack of accepting resposablility would just escalate.
I say commend yourself for taking this step and knowing that your daughter will be better off after no matter what her situation was at home. not every parent is in the position to help there children to such extremes. Hang in there, it does get easier. And know that your daughter is in good hands.
Send me a private message if you would like to know more about what our son is going through. It is a little different than the older groups and there is more nurturing for the younger kids.
DK
And another:
I felt like I wanted to reply to this because although my daughter just experienced her sweet 16th birthday at a WC, her problems started when she was in fifth grade with chronic failing. She would lie about not having homework (when she did), take tests and then not hand them in...plus throw tantrums at home whenever it was time to sit down and do school work. I gained 50 pounds that year, and I'm not joking!!!
She has clearly had ADhD, and ODD since she was very young, and none of us had any idea how to cope with her. We just did the best we could. We had her tested several times to see if she had a learning disorder, but the tests only added to our frustration as she has a very high IQ and should be getting straight A's.
Just pat yourself on the back, and thank God that you got some help for her now. My daughter was pushed from grade to grade, but changing schools every 6 months since 7th grade. We've tried homeschool, 2 different private schools, an alternative school, public school and a charter school. Finally, this year she failed 9th grade AGAIN! And, if that were her only problem, maybe I could deal with it...but trust me, as these kids become teenagers, failing grades only becomes a small piece of the puzzel...whereas when they are 10 or 11, it is a much bigger piece that you can focus on.
I always thought it would get better - if we could just find the right medication - the right therapist - the right school - the right group of friends. There's no "magic bullet" out there - and if you can get your child the help they need when they are young, then more power to you.
Plus this sends some important messages to your child, "We are serious about YOU! And, there will be serious consequences!" I just wish that I had known what I know now when my kid was 11. You are very lucky. -JG
Response:
JG
I know you wrote that letter to MO but thank you. It has really helped me. You just summed up my son in one paragraph. I'm glad to hear that we are taking the right steps because even though I am glad we sent him to camp and I know he will be a better person when he comes out. I still wondered if it was all completely nesecsary. I was thinking the same thing as you at the end of last year, maybe its the school, medication, therapist, friends...we actually did change our therapist, looked into other schools and have tried numerous medications. At the end of the year, I only got my son to pass because I asked for leniency on his teachers part with the promise of getting him help over the summer, and here we are at camp. My son is all about his ADD and his emotions with a high IQ and able to get A's.
Thanks for the reassurance that we did the right thing.
:scared: Pretty scary, if you ask me.
