Hi, I graduated peer group 24 at NWA. I had just heard recently that cedu had shut down and while checking out the facts online, I stumbled upon this webpage. I don't quite know how to pigeon-hole my CEDU experience; in some ways I resent having my highschool years stolen from me, but other times I'm happy about having been there. When I first graduated in May of 2004, I was pretty full of piss and vinegar, but since then I've had a little more time to cool down.
Throughout the program I was labeled "negative" and pretty much got yelled at in RAPS at least once a week. I had the most number of table restrictions out of any of other kids then in attendance by the second half of my "career" and had been on 2 full-times. I had come pretty close to being sent to Ascent twice throughout the program. (Grapes in a Nalgene...) I never cried in propheets and got not one "live" vote from from my uncharacteristically well indoctrinated peer group during the Summit. Graduation was the happiest day of my life. Pochabel's Cannon still puts a smile on my face to this day.
Cedu took me away from my home, my friends and my family, but it also took me away from a lot of drugs and a life that may not have gone anywhere (without a great deal more effort).
After graduating from Northwest Academy, I took a year off to really reflect on what had happened. I did end up doing a lot of drugs during that year, but I also managed to matriculate at Colby College as a freshman this year.
When the interim year approached an end, I was able to turn of the drug use immediately (with manageable withdrawal) - something I'm not sure if I would've been able to do otherwise. I'm currently studying pre-med and have been drug-free since August (well mostly...smoke a little pot now and then and drink like a...well college student). In this respect, I am thankful for the way that things turned out.
However, Cedu did not leave me scratch free. Residual anger, guilt and distrust distance me from my family. I wake up sweating and panicking and thrashing almost every other night. (something that started at the beginning of my NWA experience...fear of escorts perhaps?) I'm very uncomfortable and fidgety around adults; I tend to avoid eye contact with authority, and I'm constantly paranoid about punishment and consequence, even for the smallest offenses. I'm not nearly as carefree as I used to be, nor do I voice my opinions nearly as much. And I'm much more lethargic than I used to and I express far less emotion.
Most of all, I feel like I cannot trust people. I have not felt much of an emotional attatchment toward anyone or anything since before NWA. I'll make friends, but I don't "bond" with them the same way I did with people I met before the whole experience began.
Just thought I'd like to share my experience as a relatively recent CEDU graduate with everyone.
If anyone wants to get in touch with me my e-mail is
[email protected] Please, though, if you don't have anything good to say don't say it. Flames will be reported to my school and I will block your e-mail address. Otherwise, I'm happy to talk to anyone, particularly any other CEDU graduates that share some of my experience.
