Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Thayer Learning Center
i was in TLC
Anonymous:
well, I guess that's true, but some people believe most anything too, just as well. And people are people, there's good and bad. If some have had a hard hand dealt to them from some bad, then hosting a site to Judge all that have similar circumstances is bad. I see you were from Strait, Inc. I have heard nothing good from there, but I do see that thousands have been through it with only a handful of complaints of abuse. It just seems to me, the people that criticize strict programs:
#1. Don't really say what the problem is, other than alleged abuse. Which is a broad term. Does that mean looking crosseyed at someone, when they wanted you to look different at them? Or is it when a child just simply doesn't get their way, and realize they are not in charge?
#2. Might have been in the program, and it just didn't work for them. None claim to work for everyone.
#3. They don't realize what a parent goes through even researching or entering their child in a program. Now don't get me wrong, some don't seem to be good. But I think most parents investigate extensively, and would give their own life to protect their children, but want them to learn about the real world. And the expense the parents find a way to pay for, lasting for years, which they had hoped would be college money.
#4. It just seems to me the ones that have the most grievances, are the ones who were very against any modification of their own behavior from the start, and fought it every step of the way. But they don't mention why their parent had an inkling of why it may be necessary. They've never had to do anything for anyone. They probably do not now. And never will. And have no real future.
Yeah there are bad parents. Ones that might have failed in some circumstances, and those that hve tried everything. And there are caring parents who have exausted every means to better their child, and this was toward the last resort. In the old days, a parent would lay down the law with the belt, and it worked about every time. It was expected from the child, and they knew the consequences. The parents didn't sweet talk them into good behavior and respect. It has to be earned from the parents. Those kids weren't on forums then talking about abuse. They understood the law, and obeyed as best they chose, and later respected their parents. Today, a child can call Child Abuse Hotline and have investigators at home within hours. The kids all know this, and do this. I know.
And since so called "abuse" is such a hot topic here, I have yet to see someone offer a better way to do things, that has actually worked from their own experience. They are not on forums, they have better things to do. The bulk of the people, like me, are on this forum to get legitimate information, which doesn't exist here, and they just find all these negative scare post from strangers.
So, I have to respond with your statement of some people still think no one has landed on the moon, and think the world is flat, by saying, the people that proved all of that wrong were courageous truth seeking people, who can distinguish between b/s and reality. Life is tough, and I think youths need to be equipped to deal with it. Sometimes it can be hard, but not abusive, but have to be able to handle what life deals out. Not in an abusive way, but in a good way. With honesty, integrity, and in my opinion a holy way.
tlcrescue:
--- Quote ---On 2005-08-03 17:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
"well, I guess that's true, but some people believe most anything too, just as well. And people are people, there's good and bad. If some have had a hard hand dealt to them from some bad, then hosting a site to Judge all that have similar circumstances is bad. I see you were from Strait, Inc. I have heard nothing good from there, but I do see that thousands have been through it with only a handful of complaints of abuse. It just seems to me, the people that criticize strict programs:
#1. Don't really say what the problem is, other than alleged abuse. Which is a broad term. Does that mean looking crosseyed at someone, when they wanted you to look different at them? Or is it when a child just simply doesn't get their way, and realize they are not in charge?
#2. Might have been in the program, and it just didn't work for them. None claim to work for everyone.
#3. They don't realize what a parent goes through even researching or entering their child in a program. Now don't get me wrong, some don't seem to be good. But I think most parents investigate extensively, and would give their own life to protect their children, but want them to learn about the real world. And the expense the parents find a way to pay for, lasting for years, which they had hoped would be college money.
#4. It just seems to me the ones that have the most grievances, are the ones who were very against any modification of their own behavior from the start, and fought it every step of the way. But they don't mention why their parent had an inkling of why it may be necessary. They've never had to do anything for anyone. They probably do not now. And never will. And have no real future.
Yeah there are bad parents. Ones that might have failed in some circumstances, and those that hve tried everything. And there are caring parents who have exausted every means to better their child, and this was toward the last resort. In the old days, a parent would lay down the law with the belt, and it worked about every time. It was expected from the child, and they knew the consequences. The parents didn't sweet talk them into good behavior and respect. It has to be earned from the parents. Those kids weren't on forums then talking about abuse. They understood the law, and obeyed as best they chose, and later respected their parents. Today, a child can call Child Abuse Hotline and have investigators at home within hours. The kids all know this, and do this. I know.
And since so called "abuse" is such a hot topic here, I have yet to see someone offer a better way to do things, that has actually worked from their own experience. They are not on forums, they have better things to do. The bulk of the people, like me, are on this forum to get legitimate information, which doesn't exist here, and they just find all these negative scare post from strangers.
So, I have to respond with your statement of some people still think no one has landed on the moon, and think the world is flat, by saying, the people that proved all of that wrong were courageous truth seeking people, who can distinguish between b/s and reality. Life is tough, and I think youths need to be equipped to deal with it. Sometimes it can be hard, but not abusive, but have to be able to handle what life deals out. Not in an abusive way, but in a good way. With honesty, integrity, and in my opinion a holy way. "
--- End quote ---
do a search for my posts. it offers SPECIFICS of what happened to my son. You can also contact me directly at my email that I have provided on occasion. No need for me to hide.
Your posts sound very suspicious, you sure you dont work for them?
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-08-03 17:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
well, I guess that's true, but some people believe most anything too, just as well. And people are people, there's good and bad. If some have had a hard hand dealt to them from some bad, then hosting a site to Judge all that have similar circumstances is bad. I see you were from Strait, Inc. I have heard nothing good from there, but I do see that thousands have been through it with only a handful of complaints of abuse. It just seems to me, the people that criticize strict programs:
...
--- End quote ---
Look, I never started this site to instigate criticizm against good people or good ideas. I started this site at the request of Wes Fager, as he was looking for info. while researching his book. The book never made it into a dead tree edition. But you can read it and a lot of other related information at http://thestraights.com/
There's a WHOLE lot more than a handful of lawsuits. The term "plethora" seems more apt. And, as always, the devil is in the details. Look at the content of those suits. Look at the specific complaints that continue to flow from different people, different states and countries, different generations.
My intention in hosting these forums was, as it remains, to allow an uncensored outlet for those of us who have firsthand experience with these types of programs (i.e. Synanon based BM, generally marketed as therapy for "troubled teens"). I hoped that we would be able to find old friends, compare notes and better understand what happened to us. And that has happened, or so I'm told, quite often.
I also wanted you, the next generation of easy marks, to have a shot at the other side of the story; the details not provided you in the glossy brochures or by the paid edcons and program reps. People like that have fairly often dropped a line of thanks for just that. So that's working pretty well too.
I'm a little surprised at the number of people like you, though. Why do you come here? Why hang around? You seem to be putting a great deal of time, thought and effort into coming up w/ (rather unlikely) excuses to reject what we have to say. If you're that determined to keep on believing just what you already do, why not save yourself the mental exertion and just stick w/ the sites and forums that will only allow those views that you want to hear?
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
--Ambrose Bierce
--- End quote ---
Antigen:
--- Quote ---On 2005-08-03 17:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
#4. It just seems to me the ones that have the most grievances, are the ones who were very against any modification of their own behavior from the start, and fought it every step of the way. But they don't mention why their parent had an inkling of why it may be necessary. They've never had to do anything for anyone. They probably do not now. And never will. And have no real future.
--- End quote ---
I have to single this one out. Where do you come up with this shit?
Let me fill you in. I always had to do something for someone. I always had to do chores. In addition, if I wanted anything more than basic school clothing, food, shelter, etc., I had to work for it too. My allowance ($5 - $10/wk) was entirely contingent on my satisfactorily completing my chores. And if I wanted more money than that, I had to work outside the home; babysitting, lawn mowing, paper routss, etc.
And here's a big bombshell for you. I never complained about it. In fact, I was quite proud of my ability to pull a little weight around the house, to get and keep those odd jobs from neighbors and to manage my earnings and negotiate a deal.
Since then, I've still "had to" do everything for somebody or something for everybody. Hello? You're really not talking to a bunch of bratty, spoiled 16yo's here. I'm 40 years old. I have three kids. When the first one came along, I was all alone for the first couple of years. It got easier when I met my husband and he started pitching in. But he also gave me two more kids.
Now that they're grown or almost grown, this is the very first time in my life that I haven't had to do everything for everybody. And I must admit that it is nice! I'm enjoying it thoroughly! All I have to do anymore is keep the bills paid (dh takes care of most of the earning) and some light housework. Well, I suppose that's not all I "have to" do. But all the gardening, activities transporting and cheering, reading, counseling and shoulder lending, that's pretty much indistinguishable in my life from just living and having fun.
Lighthouses are more helpful then churches.
--Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father, author, and inventor
--- End quote ---
AtomicAnt:
--- Quote ---On 2005-08-03 17:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
In the old days, a parent would lay down the law with the belt, and it worked about every time. It was expected from the child, and they knew the consequences. The parents didn't sweet talk them into good behavior and respect. It has to be earned from the parents. Those kids weren't on forums then talking about abuse. They understood the law, and obeyed as best they chose, and later respected their parents. Today, a child can call Child Abuse Hotline and have investigators at home within hours. The kids all know this, and do this. I know.
--- End quote ---
Yes, those good old days which are non-existent. Pick up the August 8th edition of Time Magazine and turn to page 43:
"Today's 13-year-olds are less likely to smoke, drink, do drugs, get pregnant, commit a crime or drop out of school than those of their parents' generation in the 1970s. The birthrate for girls under 14 has been cut in half since 1953. But that record does not prevent every new generation of parents from fearing the worst."
There are so many studies linking corporal punishment with subsequent violent behavior that I cannot believe you would still endorse "the belt." If anything, overly strict parenting contributes to behavior problems. Fear is not respect. I know.
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