Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Brat Camp
Typical Day at Sagewalk
Anonymous:
That's part of the problem, since people do not understand how dangerous and scary these kids can be ... they get refered to as "bad/lazy parents" and do not talk about it. They live in a private HELL until they either send the child away for help or that child hurts someone and ends up in custody.
We have one of these kids and if we are such bad parents how come our other six children are happy, well adjusted, respectful healthy kids ? Two of them being teenagers ?
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---On 2005-08-08 11:09:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I wonder were you faced with a choice of DCF removing the other children from your home ? We had a Doctor from a crisis center tell us we where nuts if we brought him home... he was homocidal, sucidial and acting out sexually.
He never made it long enough at Eckerd to get help, then went from the crisis center to University Behavioral Center. What could we not provide him at home ... 24 hour a day supervision. He was at the point that he could not control himself to get through a school day and I would be the one to go pick him up. It got so bad that I would bring my site superintendent with me out of fear. At home we could no longer control him when he would go into a rage, and he made a target out of the 2 youngest, who at 3 & 5 really could not protect themselves.
At University Behavioral Center he continually refused to attempt to co-operate with any help provided/offered. In addition testing showed him to have a propensity to rape as a form of control over others. Believe me sending him into DCF custody was not a decision made lightly, however it was at the recommendation of over 20 mental health professionals from various agencies.
I wonder have you found anything that has worked for your child ? We would love to hear about it - all we want is for our son to have a productive life. Please do not assume it has been for lack of parenting on our part - we are actively involved in all of his therapy. Unfortunately the one thing we have learned through this process is that until he wants the help - he will continue down this destructive path. "
--- End quote ---
Until he wants help ... 4 important words.
In and out of programs does take it's toll, ya know.
As for the other kids who turned out "just right"?
That's a question only you can answer. Obviously you aren't the perfect parent (who is?) but to blame it all on the kid is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!
Grow up and take some responsibility, parents.
:smokin:
Anonymous:
None of our children are perfect, niether are we as parents. As far as the other children in the household , what I was taking exception to was the statement that we are not disciplining this child or not doing a good job - how do you explain the other children in the household who function at a normal (whatever that may be level ?
Please do not dare tell a parent to take responsibility...here is a flaw in that statement, niether on of us are this childs biological parents. My husband came into his life at 5 years old and I came into his life at 12 years old. Take responsibility !!! HAH we have taken responsibility far beyond the call of duty of a biological parent and I have the physical scars to show for it, please get off that trip. Actually we have had more than one professional tell us that we should have the adoption overturned - we have not done that. My husband has taken this responsibility very seriously over the past few years !!!
Deborah:
The main thing you should have learned from watching BC is that there is always something below a child's 'undesirable' behavior.
With Nick it was being teased relentlessly because of his dylexia.
Lexie- sexually abused by a family friend.
Lauren- grieving her father's death.
Iasiah- resentment toward his mother for breaking up the family......
Has even ONE of these people/programs discovered what is underlying this child's anger?
Good god. Adopted. Two step mom's in 7 years. Numerous programs. I'd say the kid has some justifiable reasons to be angry. Who's going to 'help' him dismantle the resentment? Do you think punishment is the appropriate 'therapy'?
The house is on fire and the children are alone.
Anonymous:
I am his only step mom - his real mom passed away. Numerous people, including his own mother have tried to get to the bottom of this. He was adopted by my husband when his mom was dying and he had no legal relatives that wanted to take him in.
The funny part is my husband adopted him to protect him from the very place he is now DCF custody.
As is typical people assume his anger just recently started... how do you explain these dangerous outbursts at three, four and five ?
When his mom was alive, home with him and he was in a very loving environment ?
Again I ask you what has worked for your child ? You seem to only want to insult other parents choices. As I said earlier this decision was made on the advice of alot of professionals who knew this child very well.
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