Going back to hornets nest (the facility)

[Anonymous]

This might sound strange, or it might be something you have thought about before. I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, a feeling that entices me to take a road trip to Montana and go visit Spring Creek Lodge. I was there five years ago. I feel the need to see it again for some reason, I don't know why.

Has anyone gone back to their program before? More specifically with this facility, does anybody know what would happened if I asked for a tour or something?

Could I pretend to be press and get some pictures, etc? I doubt they would recognize me.

For some reason I want to see it again. Is this crazy? Have you done it before?

 ::

[Antigen]

I dunno. But I do know an awful lot of ppl do the same thing.

I believe that relgion is the belief in future life and in God. I don't believe in either. I don't believe in God as I don't believe in Mother Goose.
--Clarence Darrow, American lawyer

[Anonymous]

Maybe you know that seeing it would make it more real in your mind and also bring back memories, and you know that you need this so you can sort out what happened to you. Time is gone, however, we still have place to connect us to what once happened.

[BuzzKill]

Why don't you look into taking press with you?
If you do do this, it might be better if you had someone with you - a friend to tag along at least.
You might find you want someone to talk to about the thoughts and feelings - or even the lack there of, if that be the case.

I don't know - but I think it is probably a normal thing to want to re-visit a place that has had a powerful effect on your life - weather it be good or bad.

Think of the veterans that want to revisit battle fields; POWs that want to return to the camps. I knew a man who spent 7 years in the state pen - and after his release he wanted to go back and visit the place.

For myself, the closest thing to this would be the desire to walk the halls of my high school and visit with past teachers - but I haven't done that since the ones I liked all retired.

I did at one time feel compelled to visit a crime scene  - and was generally surprised to not feel much about it. Just like standing on any street corner. It wasn't until later that the emotion of the visit hit - and I would liked to have had someone to talk it over with - and thats why I suggest you not go alone.

[Anonymous]

Thats funny, I was in Paradise cove and even though it was a sick and twisted place, I want to go see it.  I know its not there anymore, just the place it once was.  I wonder what it looks like now.  If you do get in.  be sure to use hidden cameras on your body to assure you can get everything they let you see.

[Nihilanthic]

Going back to face the demons from your past seems to be a huamn drive a lot of people share.

When I got a car I drove to all my old schools for the hell of it. Unfortuantely I didnt have the power in the damn boat to do a big ass burnout and flick them off.... so I settled for flicking it off and driving away.

This was over the summer, btw :razz:

All who doubted or denied would be lost. To live a moral and honest life -- to keep your contracts, to take care of wife and child -- to make a happy home -- to be a good citizen, a patriot, a just and thoughtful man, was simply a respectable way of going to hell.
--

[Anonymous]

On 2005-06-30 13:43:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Thats funny, I was in Paradise cove and even though it was a sick and twisted place, I want to go see it.  I know its not there anymore, just the place it once was.  I wonder what it looks like now.  If you do get in.  be sure to use hidden cameras on your body to assure you can get everything they let you see."

When were you at PC and why were you sent there?

[melissa goldsmith]

i know what you are feeling. i went back to cross creek were i was held and i have to tell you it was not fun i could not get out of my car to go inside i was frozen i fear i just sat there looking at the place and crying. i still want to go back and go inside and release my fear of this painful place

[Nihilanthic]

:sad: you didnt have to share that here on the forum, Melissa, but it really does hit home for those of us who can understand what it must be like, especially knowing children are still in there and all your memories came back.

You should talk to the media about this, or at least get a blogger or some local thing to come about it. Or, just keep a diary/journal of it yourself. Maybe a video journal? Your tears might move someone.

And for what its worth my heart goes out to you... its a pretty trite gesture but its the least I could offer over an internet forum.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;  I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.  
-- A. Whitney Brown

[Anonymous]

When I was counting down the days at SCL with my best friend there, we would always dream of coming back in full force and freeing everyone who was there. We talked about it probably everyday.

One time a couple of motorized parachute people came flying overhead slowly... which inspired an idea to start flying over the facility with banners to inspire the kids to rise up over their captors. With an ultralight aircraft, this could easily be done, I imagine.

In reality though, once I got out I wanted to forget everything that happened and just move on.. when I first got out I always wondered about the kids who were still there.. now it's been so long even the youngest person I knew is out. I wish they would have at least let us kept some notes of names, I would really like to talk to some of the friends I made while there.. see what theyre doing.