Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum

How did you tell your children, spouse about the Seed?

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GregFL:
My first wife never got it. I told her it was a bad experience but I couldn´t effectively convey the way it was. Plus, she equated drugs with the seed so she just never understood.

I came out to my kids about 5 years ago, which is hard when you are trying to raise kids that don´t use drugs to tell them you were in a drug rehab. I just explained exactly what happened, what led me to that point, how bad it was for me, and I promised them they would never be sent away to a place like that.

Suprisingly they got it much better than the ex.  Nowadays I tell the women I dated when the relationship progresses far enough, and I present it in the manner of something that happened to me a long time ago...they usually think it is interesting conversation.

Stripe:
I think the important thing is to tell the truth about your experience. You can't sugar-coat it to make it easier for you to speak about. I thnk I told my son after I finally began to understand to long-term effects of what had happened to me.  Telling him about the bases of my reasoning (flawed as it was) helped me explain the whys and whats of decisions I made over the years that have affected his life.  

I have tired my best to put the information out there so that my son can learn from my mistakes -learn not to follow the pack and to think for himself. Being truthful about what happened to me about the choices I made as a teen and young adult has also made it easier, I hope, for him learn from my mistakes to the greatest extent possible.

My first husband used the information to abuse and debase me.  I didn't really speak much about it to anyone else after that experience. Husband number 2, however, has been caring and supportive and would never use the information to hurt me. In fact, he likes to read along on the forum so he can see what I'm up to.  And I think it's great for both of them to see where exactly, some of my previously twisted ways of thinking began.  The truth will set you free.

Anonymous:
I was very up-front with my two oldest girls, they knew I was a recovering alcoholic and I related what happened to me in high school in terms of a warning along the lines that, "it runs in the family / its in the genes" as when I researched and found that there a number of alcoholics in my grandparents generation (mother's side)and the fact that three of their uncles were in AA as well. I told them that I had done just about every drug that was out there and got hooked on a couple, and I could advise them on this, friends, peer pressure, "boys", screwing up & doing good. It provoked more than a few conversations / discussions. But I had to realize (and come to accept) that they had to make their own mistakes & do their own "research" on the subject, hopefully they'll pull through, I pray, offer it up to my higher power, try to be there for them, but know my limitations. As to the "general public" ie friends, co-workers, etc.., I am selective about who & what I say & to what extent I relate my background. Alot of it depends on the person & their background. There are very few people in todays world that have not either done drugs, have family members, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers or know people in their lives that have not been touched by it. I cetainly don't hide it, I embrace it, after all it is a big part of who I am. You either learn from the past or you are destined to repeat it (as they say)I can attest to that personally.
Chris Lewis
Seed 74-75
AA - 91 -...

cleveland:
I have to say that, thru this site, I have been able to clarify for me what the experience was. Now I have a bigger vocabulary to understand what the Seed was, why I was there, what I gained and lost from the experience.

I used to feel so weird about it. I remember telling a girlfriend about it, and she looked at me like I had suddenly turned green. Or maybe I just felt that way. Anyway, if I tell people I was in a cult, or a drug rehab, or a boot camp, or 'AA for kids,' nothing really describes what it was. Or what it is for kids in current programs.

My current wife accepted the info, said it must have been a difficult experience, and let it go at that. I have been in correspondance with people who briefly posted on this site, only to stop when a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend told them it was 'weird.' I feel sorry for them, that they cannot continue to learn about this part of their life. But I understand too...

It's especially difficult to explain the Seed experience, because it was meant to 'change the world,' and we believed it, if only for a while.

marshall:
I don't recall either my wife or kids asking many questions or being especially interested in my being in the seed. I started dating my wife about 3 years after I graduated the program and my general feelings towards the program, though mixed, were more positive back then. They were much more interested in hearing about the short time I went to prison. I tend to lump that whole period of my life in together as one big unpleasant experience. Prison, seed then probation.

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