Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Mission Mountain School
Missing Alumni
Anonymous:
so Kat...you always say mms got worse once you left but you don't say how.....
how did it get worse.....just exercise and stuff???
I remember still doing the writings and trying to find that little girl deep down....
but how else?? what got worse exactly??
katfish:
I just heard there were more incidents of intense isolation of kids for work crew and the period of time increased to months rather that while I was there the work amounted to weeks at a time- longer work crew hours, increase in work crew generally speaking for all the group, more restrictive code of conduct in general- specificaly i've heard mealtime involved restrictd conversations... Given it's bigger I would imagine in many ways it would have to be for staff to mantain the coercive control they had in the earlier days when it was smaller.
katfish:
annony- what years were you there? YOu guys had to do the free writes? But was it about also disassociating? I guess the difference that I see b/w the 'getting in touch with your inner child' and the work we did while I was there- is that the main purpose seemed to be to unearth memories of these events, then to cry about it---but under these conditions of fear I doubt that other girls did not feel like I did, that we were expected to find something in our past to wail about, thereby creating a need to find or being led to create something b/c it needed to be there- it had to be b/c we were so troubled (accrording to MMS) there had to be this major cause. Does that make sense? We were led, I beleive, to find something in that back of our minds. Memory is a fragile things and studies have shown that therapists can influence through suggestion memories of abuse- I wonder what happens when you insert fear and the desperate need to please into the picture?
(although let the fact be know that I think the whole 'getting in touch with your inner child' is also a major problem of the program- at least it was in the way implemented while I was there and from what I've heard b/c it allowed us to regress into this weird helpless child-like state- i guess this was also an 'side effect' of them stripping away our identities and breaking us down- that was not at all helpful in creating independent strong minded girls with will/knowledge and wherewithall to achieve their goals. It encouraged the opposite response- submissive, dependent, child-like (like attempts to desexualize girls by making them where pigtails I thought was very innapropriate)
I also wonder why the school never bothered to do anything with these memories- I dont think MMS has one time reported that allegations of abuse that have come up in therapy- sometimes those allegation involve parents and yet not report filed to CPS. Aren't they mandated reporters like other people who work with kids??? Aren't they required by law to report abuse, especially if the school with be returning that child home to the parent who has abused the kid??[ This Message was edited by: katfish on 2005-07-31 12:53 ]
Anonymous:
Interesting point kat, about mandatory reporting of said abuses. Interesting thought, especially when it concerns the parents because they were the ones paying their salary. I'm not necessarily sayting they only cared for money, but obviously...that's a little curious. And yes, after your time, things did get worse, especially in my time 94-96. I could share many specific memories about my "sentence" on workcrew, isolation, the mind-game of being given no concrete or logical ways to "right my wrongs" or get out of my punishment. John would often give me directions, I would follow them exactly and then be berated that night in group for not doing what he said...I would try to argue and more work would be threatened. ONe time I was digging a corner post, it had to be five feet deep and centered in exactly a certain spot because a gate had to attach to it. In the bottom of the hole was a very large boulder, probably three hundred pounds??? There was no way I could have pysically removed it by myself. I asked Mike and he I got it out using come-alongs etc etc. I was in BIG trouble for asking for help...I was "manipluating" using "sexuality." But I was given no alternative as to how I should have done it. I felt so alone and so crazy....this i believe, is child-abuse. The stories go on..to girls puking up dinner and having to eat more while all of us sit and watch. anyone can argue their opion of whether it helped or not, no one can argue the facts..
claire
Anonymous:
So I do remember John being really hard on you Claire and even hated the fact that you never got to go home. god that must have been hard....
But I don't remember girls throwing up and having to eat it.....that i don't believe happened.
Work crews were a pain and the military style exercise was at times extremly intense. ex...3hr exercise and running up the "big gahuna"
also exerciseing in the moring and than having to do a "afternoon activity." yeah my ass...activity...another long day of just exercise.
But i must say my arms were strong. This is probably why exercising is a something I don't like to do so much. I remember girls having experinces and were only allowed to talk to staff about it and were told to just move on and not allowed to talk about what happened.
Yet, you had friends....i was off talk and had no friends...everyone pretended to like me and no one did......or very few did.
Sarah F took shit out of my room and put it in the lost and found just so i got work crew and no one told her what a ***** they though she was but they had not problem telling me.
Anyway now im getting mad remembering some of the oh so wonderfull times at MMS.
Yet im conflicted....I still support the school and im better for having been there. Like i said before....maybe i was there to long.
B
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