Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > Brat Camp
Redcliffer
Notafriendofredcliff:
Thank you for sharing your experience. If I may ask, did you bring your son home with you before he went on to boarding school?
Maybe Doc Dan was having an off day when we attended the seminar. We did hang on until the bitter end. We waited endlessly to hear him offer anything about aftercare. Prior to the graduation, all we were told was to set him up with a local therapist before bringing him home. Duh.
I'm sure Redcliff accepted your son based on his past history of drug abuse, etc., and the knowledge that you had done everything possible to help him. I still believe there should be some due process afforded anyone of any age before they are subjected to WT, but I'm not trying to judge you. You did what you thought was best, as a last resort.
Unfortunately, their system is purposefully flawed. If the parents have the ability to pay, that's the only real requirement for enrollment. In our case, they accepted him based on an obviously fraudulent enrollment contract signed by his disturbed mother and an unrelated third party who signed as his father. They disregarded the psych evaluation that said he shouldn't be there. Nothing significant was done for him prior to being abducted and taken to Redcliff. Even though their enrollment contract clearly states that any parent may remove their child for any reason, they refused to allow my husband to remove him. They actively and deliberately denied my husband his rights as a father, and knowingly held a child who was sent there for all the wrong reasons. He (and we) will be paying the price for this for years to come.
I'm glad to hear that your son's experience was a positive one and I hope he continues to show improvement. Knowing what we know about Redcliff, it's a minor miracle. I hope he doesn't have to stay in a boarding school for too long, as he has already been isolated too long from his family.
Anonymous:
Thanks for your reply --
We had about a week alone with my son before we went on to boarding school. Not once did he ask me if he could come home rather than go on to school.
Considering the experience we had with redcliff I am shocked at your experience.
It really does sound like two different places and I am sorry for your experience.
Aftercare was something my son's therapist, my husband and I discussed early on. They never pushed me one way or another and they actually refused to make a reccommendation to any specific school. They just helped us process our options -- including bringing him home.
In fact they actually discouraged me from sending him to Discovery Academy or Discovery Ranch which are the ones that Redcliff is affiliated with.
Did you get to participate in the weekly conference calls with the therapist? That was where we did most of our aftercare discussions.
Also my husband and I sought out private counseling just to get a balanced opioion about aftercare.
The private therapist has no affiliation with any schools or programs. He was a former herion addict and said that aftercare was essential to having any chance of a lasting outcome.
I found my son's boarding school on my own. I researched it with the state and through web sites -- even sites like these... then I went for a visit. I was allowed complete access to the facility. We got to eat lunch with the kids and the program was just exactly right for my son.
I learned about their treatment concept by reading a text book on the subject as well as doing internet research on the method. Then we went there at saw it in action -- unstaged action -- it was awesome.
He gets to call home for 30 minutes a week and we get calls every few days. He says he is having a great time and enjoys the art program and the school. He has a lot of freedom and enjoys the other boys in his peer group.
He knows that he needs to practice life in a more structured environment than I could provide -- where he can make mistakes that don't cost him his life.
What I am kind of afraid of is that your son knew that you guys were trying to get him out so he didn't have to take it seriously.
If he didn't take it seriously then it was a giant waste of money and time for everyone involved.
I hope I am not right but I am afraid your son is acting with you like he was with his Mom and that since he knows that one or the other of your two families with rescue him he does not need to be accountable for his actions -- there are no consequences.
I can only see this getting worse -- especially since in effect he "won" by getting back at the people who put him there in the first place. That gives him tremendous power -- he will wield that power against you now at every turn.
Like Doc Dan said -- he is on developmental vacation. The problem is is that now he can use Redcliff as an excuse for further bad behavior. It is not his fault -- he was messed up by Redcliff...
He now knows that Redcliff is a card he can pull with you and you will back off -- it is the hairy scary monster in the basement... ya know what I mean... along with the Divorces and the power struggles and the awful things you say were going on in his home -- what a mess!
Also -- don't be so sure you are not dealing with drugs here... actually I would be surprised if you were not.
My son was in therapy since he was in 3rd grade -he did the outpatient thing (giant waste of money and time) We did medication, an 18 week parenting class, group therapy, home school -- you name it -- we did it.
He only changed because he wanted to change. Wilderness gave him the confidence to go forward and know that no matter what happens in his life he can take care of himself.
He knew it was his last chance -- he was also almost 17 -- I think that is older than your son.
Don't underestimate the power of the bow drill and knife -- if the kid is working the program then those things mean something to him...they are badges of honor -- they mean something.
My son was out there for over 100 days. He says he was "hard core". Not once did he complain to us in letters about anything the whole time he was there.
He knew why he was there and knew that this was a chance to work on himself and that we were prepared to have that take as long at it took -- there was nothing magical about 30-60-or 90 or even 100 days....
Best of luck to you and your very personal situation. I hope you find what your looking for.
I think we have and it is a brigher day for all of us.
Redcliff Fan :smile:
Anonymous:
Hmm.... now THAT sounds familiar. :wink:
AtomicAnt:
--- Quote ---On 2005-12-19 18:19:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Thanks for your reply --
We had about a week alone with my son before we went on to boarding school. Not once did he ask me if he could come home rather than go on to school.
Considering the experience we had with redcliff I am shocked at your experience.
It really does sound like two different places and I am sorry for your experience.
Aftercare was something my son's therapist, my husband and I discussed early on. They never pushed me one way or another and they actually refused to make a reccommendation to any specific school. They just helped us process our options -- including bringing him home.
In fact they actually discouraged me from sending him to Discovery Academy or Discovery Ranch which are the ones that Redcliff is affiliated with.
Did you get to participate in the weekly conference calls with the therapist? That was where we did most of our aftercare discussions.
Also my husband and I sought out private counseling just to get a balanced opioion about aftercare.
The private therapist has no affiliation with any schools or programs. He was a former herion addict and said that aftercare was essential to having any chance of a lasting outcome.
I found my son's boarding school on my own. I researched it with the state and through web sites -- even sites like these... then I went for a visit. I was allowed complete access to the facility. We got to eat lunch with the kids and the program was just exactly right for my son.
I learned about their treatment concept by reading a text book on the subject as well as doing internet research on the method. Then we went there at saw it in action -- unstaged action -- it was awesome.
He gets to call home for 30 minutes a week and we get calls every few days. He says he is having a great time and enjoys the art program and the school. He has a lot of freedom and enjoys the other boys in his peer group.
He knows that he needs to practice life in a more structured environment than I could provide -- where he can make mistakes that don't cost him his life.
What I am kind of afraid of is that your son knew that you guys were trying to get him out so he didn't have to take it seriously.
If he didn't take it seriously then it was a giant waste of money and time for everyone involved.
I hope I am not right but I am afraid your son is acting with you like he was with his Mom and that since he knows that one or the other of your two families with rescue him he does not need to be accountable for his actions -- there are no consequences.
I can only see this getting worse -- especially since in effect he "won" by getting back at the people who put him there in the first place. That gives him tremendous power -- he will wield that power against you now at every turn.
Like Doc Dan said -- he is on developmental vacation. The problem is is that now he can use Redcliff as an excuse for further bad behavior. It is not his fault -- he was messed up by Redcliff...
He now knows that Redcliff is a card he can pull with you and you will back off -- it is the hairy scary monster in the basement... ya know what I mean... along with the Divorces and the power struggles and the awful things you say were going on in his home -- what a mess!
Also -- don't be so sure you are not dealing with drugs here... actually I would be surprised if you were not.
My son was in therapy since he was in 3rd grade -he did the outpatient thing (giant waste of money and time) We did medication, an 18 week parenting class, group therapy, home school -- you name it -- we did it.
He only changed because he wanted to change. Wilderness gave him the confidence to go forward and know that no matter what happens in his life he can take care of himself.
He knew it was his last chance -- he was also almost 17 -- I think that is older than your son.
Don't underestimate the power of the bow drill and knife -- if the kid is working the program then those things mean something to him...they are badges of honor -- they mean something.
My son was out there for over 100 days. He says he was "hard core". Not once did he complain to us in letters about anything the whole time he was there.
He knew why he was there and knew that this was a chance to work on himself and that we were prepared to have that take as long at it took -- there was nothing magical about 30-60-or 90 or even 100 days....
Best of luck to you and your very personal situation. I hope you find what your looking for.
I think we have and it is a brigher day for all of us.
Redcliff Fan :smile:
"
--- End quote ---
You've managed to include every selling point in the teen help book in your last two posts. You even try to instill desparation and fear into these other parents and tell them you suspect drugs (with zero evidence). Wonderful.
1. would otherwise be dead or in jail
2. last resort
3. aftercare essential for lasting outcome
4. when it doesn't work, blame the kid, not the program
Noting I've read changes my view. The tough-love approach is still wrong, even if it occassionally appears to work. The approach of breaking someone and then rebuilding them can never be a valid option. No one should ever be forced into a situation where they will be psychologically broken. Spending 100 days in a Wilderness Program is cruel and inhumane, no matter the results.
No one should be denied the right to choose their own path in life; even if that path is destructive. It is their life and their choice.
I see the following path for any teen sent to a program:
1. Initially, disbelief, fear, anger, frustration, helplessness, hopelessness. They are caught. They cannot escape. They were either lied to or betrayed and kidnapped to get there.
2. Futility, apathy, they realize they are stuck and cannot get out.
3. Some may fake it. Some may enthusiastically adopt the program. It is the only way out, so all will eventually try to work the program.
4. Setbacks. Something happens to bring them back to stage one. This could an injustice they cannot ignore, or a series of small events that builds up (since no oppositional voice is permitted). They crack and act out, are punished, and have to stay longer. The same feelings as in number 1 return. This is good for profit. The longer the stay, the more money they make. Saying your son was 'hardcore' is just another way of saying he resisted their attempts to break him a bit longer.
5. Those that adopt the program view enthusiastically get through it and sometimes even want to become part of it. Those that fake it or simply adopt it temporarily to survive fare much worse and develop more emotional scars. Some simply break and become programmed. They move through the program like robots.
6. Graduation. The success rate is high because unless the parents pull a kid, they must graduate to leave. Graduation means little. It was a forced event. The kid survived. Those that wanted to change and accepted that change view this as an accomplishment. Those that did not want to change and were forced through the program feel they were abused. They become angry and sometimes worse off than before.
Even the language you use about the kid 'winning.' What does he win? Is this a war between parent child? I think it is. I think the war can be stopped without a winner. They only way to win a war with a child is to break the child's will.
Troll Control:
Well said. Well done.
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