You guys were alot stronger than me. so I ask you, how in the hell did you not snap?
There is the assumption that some of us didn't snap?
Snapping (outwardly) was the easiest thing to do. Snapping and keeping the snap hidden was the difficult part. In the end all it achieved and proved was that I am capable of enduring a tremendious amount of unnessasry suffering.
I don't think it has anything to do with being "stronger" than you. There was a need to do what had to be done, whether to fight or to comply. Compliance or conformity as repulsive as it sounds was a means to an end. I don't think of compliance/conformity as cowardice. My conformity/compliance was questioned often and with tremendious intensity for hours and hours at a time..not unlike anyone who was there.
Even if there was no attempt at hidding anything, or even if there was nothing to hide...there was always the fear of being "found out"..you know, faking it, just complying to get thru the damn thing.
There are many different ways to snap. I think more of us snapped than did not...maybe not by physical violence or in any other outward way that could be observed and documented. But there was a "snap" to be sure. Wasn't that the intent in the first place? To break us?
Thats not to say there wasn't a price for compliance, that price was as I said earlier, endurance. Enduring absolute unnessasary suffering. If that is called strength...go figure. I call it stupid, a waste and a loss of my teenage years.
Not that I am bitter or anything ::puke::
