Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform > The Seed Discussion Forum
Physical Contact
Stripe:
I see from these posts and others that it was not just the emotional imprisonment - the whole "follow the rules" or be stood up routine that screwed me up.
It seems to me that long timers and people who tried to stay true to the Seed's philosophy without maintinaing direct involvement with the program after graduating had many of the same expereiences. Lots of confusion over sexulaity -almost forced homosexuality as a means of meeting our human needs.
Is this kind of sexual segregation still happening to kids in current programs ? Or are we the lucky ones who "benefitted" from these glorious experiments of 30 years ago?
When you put the sexual issue in the mix, it's pretty hard to deny that The Seed and it's successor program Straight, were anything but cults. There was no free will excerised by any Seedlings, no matter how loudly they protest and claim it was a good place. If there had been exercises of free will, we could have come and gone as we pleased, gone to the bathroom when we needed to, been able to wear the clothes we wanted to wear, have the friends we wanted to have, flirt with members of the opposite sex and, GOD FORBID sneak a kiss. Obvioulsy, that behavior never occurred when I was at the SR 84 COMPOUND.
Geeze, a few months ago I was just trying to wrap my head around the whole idea that my folks were duped and the program was abusive. Now I see even more clearly how the programming has effected me on such an intimate level.
I suspect those folks (Art, staffers, etc.) have absolutely no remorse for what they did - if they even know what it was they did. But I would guess their sex lives have been pretty twisted, for lack of a better word.
I take solace in the fact that a person cannot be an abuser and be unaffected by the acts they perpetrated on their victims.[ This Message was edited by: Stripe on 2005-06-07 12:18 ][ This Message was edited by: Stripe on 2005-06-07 12:19 ]
GregFL:
It doesn't surprise me that some of those that intimately built their lives around this lie still believe in it.
But when these stories are freely told, they are creepy beyond belief to people who weren't subjected to this warped childhood.
That is one barometer for me..when "normal" people cannot even believe the stories because they are so outrageous.
Don't you find if you tell someone out of the loop that they give you that lopsided look like you are exaggerating are lying?
cleveland:
I enrolled in college at age 26 after 7 completely celibate Seed years (or almost completely! The ban on masterbation wasn't always worth living up to). Anyway, I remember how I felt in the presence of a woman, on a casual 'date' - my heart pounding, excited, scared, ashamed...
No wonder I 'fell in love' with the first woman who seemed vaguely interested. I remember trying to explain to her what I had been doing for the past 7 years, which seemed like forever then...
"Um well, I used to belong to this sort of religious group, but kinda more like AA...anyway, we weren't supposed to have sex or anything like that on our program...which sort of never ended. It was kind of a cult but we could 'leave' whenever we wanted to, but if we did, it was a betrayal and personal failure and proved that you were fucked up...so no one ever wanted to leave...uh yeah, it was weird...oh no, I'M not weird, the program was..." Um, hello, call me?
I tell you, it was a conversation stopper...
Antigen:
Stripe, I've often read reference to strict gender segregation and other funny mind games from vets of various programs. I think all of the Synanon based ones carry on that method.
The internet interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.
--John Gilmour
--- End quote ---
GregFL:
after seven years, I would probably just whipped it out, begged and cried.
:grin:
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