What happens next? That's what I thought when I left RMA. I left this crazy place,this safe place, this world where I had grown so comfortable. I was an honest and forgiving woman, for God sakes. I held on so hard, to RMA, that it did stunt me. I could not move on. I could not find a place in the Natural World. I was misplaced and scared, and wierd. I felt like I had been dumped into the real world and I had no idea what to do. I thought I was better than everyone else because I completed something so impossible. I put myself above people.I experienced grief. My old life was dead and I was expected to act normal. My idea of normal was to walk around telling people my disclosures, I was terribly harsh with people, my friends, after all, "the harder the truth to tell, the truer the friend who tells it." I rubbed people the wrong way and was in no way normal. I felt out of place in my own skin, in my home, and in my family. All the people who knew me, were spread out over the country and I couldn't connect with them again.
Is it wierd that I truely loved RMA.? I loved my friends, and I was so happy to be healthy both mentally and physically.
I am still blunt, harsh sometimes. I don't tell strangers my disclosures anymore, but I am explosive and brutally honest. People think Im sarcastic, I am. I hold a grudge.I still grieve RMA. I grieve the purity I found in myself there.
I don't know why I tell you all this, perhaps to show you that I am sincere.
Blownaway, we did go to RMA at the same time, but you graduated way before me. I do remember you, but you won't remember me.
