Peninsula Village

[Froderik]

who are you people any way
just curiouse
everyone tried to get me to sign in
i'm pretty clear about who i am
why don't people introduce themselves
like what program you were in
or are you just interested and why?

My name is Froderick Frankenstein.
Straight Inc., early 80's.

[Anonymous]

women are prostitutes because they are poor
i think
and once they are prositutes they end up using hard drugs and drinking
and they become nuts i guess by the nature of the situation

strippers are pretty much prostitutes too
they don't wear anything I'm sure you know
like they are naked and about an inch away from a bunch of disgusting men
i went in a strip club once years ago on a guy friends birthday
it wasn't my idea, and i was shocked that they were naked, see through G string doesn't count as clothes
and that the stage was not at least five feet away instead right there
also these stripper waitress women practically attacked us, like three springs said they were really sexually agressive
my and the other girl there bolted after a few minutes
the guys, charming gentlemen that they were stayed
I think what you take as wanting to be a stripper is really just shame at being looked down on in the society
i think it makes them competative and agressive
and over sexualized,
and the fact that they are being sexually exploited and it's whats all around them?
if you were a stripper in you average seedy hell hole by the side of US 70
the only other people that would accept you would be those in the same society?
plus all the pigs around them encourage them to be that way and don't allow anything else
enough about strippers
i can't stand the whole thing
and they are everywhere these days it seems

i don't like you all much
and you are like hecklers
i don't write this stuff because of you
i write it inspite of you
it has a purpose
like i know a lot of women and girls out of PV are going through the same things
and I'm not going to let some sexually harassing pig shut me up
and telling the truth is the only way anything can get said properly
and i don't care although i hate to think of the way you all think
what are you doing on this site anyway
do you have anything to do with PV
how dare you take this site for survivors and come on here with your disgusting crap
i think your just trying to drive me and other people off
acting like some sexually harassing pig and i'm saying some personal stuff
to try and help people
and you talk about women wanting to be strippers, and your dating a black amazon stripper
and regaling everyone with stories about the red light district
you sound like a bunch of stupid macho teen age boys
i hate men like you
your a bunch a warped sick stupid racist sexist fucks
your like a bunch of racists sitting around telling stupid black people jokes
it's just the same
like a bunch of animals posturing
i am not ashamed
i can't believe anyone would be ugly enough to talk to some person on a site for survivors of abuse out of programs the way that people talk on here
i'm trying to lower the suicide rate out of PV by letting people know the truth and that they aren't alone
you sound like some drunk  macho smuck in a bar
if i was trying to prove what i say about the world is true
the crap on this site certainly illustrates my point better then i could
although i can't think
 that it is anything more then depressing
thanks for reaffirming my world view
the way you think is wrong. like i said your as bad as a bunch of racists

men like you try to silence women talking about how bad things like date rape and sexism and sexual harassment and all the sexual abuse that women face are
i'm not going to be shut up by some sexually threatening pig
rot in hell you disgusting morons.

[Anonymous]

sorry i yelled at you
but guys always do that you know?
like it's always i dated some black amozon but she was a bit much for the living room and so on.
bravado or something
it's macho

and i've tried to work and go to school part time and thats why it's taken me this long to get 3 years done
also the problem is i can't move out
because i don't make enough money
even if i do work full time
i've tried to find better jobs too
i can't seem to get out of the department store clerk thing
i'm touchy because this stuff is personal
i'm just angry though
and it's true and i think it is relevant to other people going through similiar things
it's real
like i feel like it's relevant because its real
and everyone in my life won't let me tell the truth
i have to pretend and nod and smile and not tell the truth
and i'm sick of it
i think the truth is relevant

[Froderik]

I've never really been into going to strip clubs...
I have good friends who like to partonize them though.
And sure, I've been to them, but it was always someone else's idea to go.
It's just not my thing...and never has been.
There's very little romance involved in a thing like that.

Notice I'm posting in the mokara line-for-line style.
(I figure I might as well post like this from now on when replying to one of your posts.)

I once went out with a girl who became a dominatrix / stripper while we were together.
We met on my front steps in the ghetto where I used to live, she was walking her dog.
He was a German shepherd she had named "Blue."
She was really hot, a black amazon, but kind of a bitch to deal with day-in day-out.
It got old after some months and we split up, and she moved somewhere else.
She was one hell of a woman though.. a great lay, with a good sense of humor.
I heard that she eventually got out of 'the industry.'
Good for her.

[Froderik]

Sorry if you think this post^ was meant to try to silence you or something; it wasn't.

And I said there's very little romance involved in it, and good for her for getting out of that profession.

How is that "macho"?

[Anonymous]

fine sorry
the stuff i post ends up being personal
by the nature of what it's about
and it makes me angry
the poem was about my mother and the abuse here
i don't know why i added it
i wrote it last night
now that i re read it I'm embarrassed by it
i think i'm just really afraid that i have to live here
for another year
i hope i can find some girl roommates or something
i'm pretty isolated
the books all say that post traumatic stress does that
it just makes me uncomfortable
and i really don't like talking about rape and such
on a forum like this
because it gets really ugly, the forum
 like a while back it was really ugly
i don't know
but because what this forum is about
like PV and abuse and such it seems relevant
im stressed like i said and angry
i've had to deal with a lot in my life
right now I'm just afraid because i'm still stuck here and i think i'm stuck for another year

[Anonymous]

sorry you've always been nice
again i feel like what i say is relevant and needs to be said
because it's real and the truth
but then it seems too personal
also i write sometimes when things in my family get bad
so i'm angry or emotional and that's why i write
and then i read them later and I am embarassed
because they are too personal
but at the same time i remember the other girls in PV
and i know that they went through similiar things?
sorry if you go back to page like 96
you'll see why i'm touchy
and yes that was the gist of what you said

[Anonymous]

sorry you've always been nice
again i feel like what i say is relevant and needs to be said
because it's real and the truth
but then it seems too personal
also i write sometimes when things in my family get bad
so i'm angry or emotional and that's why i write
and then i read them later and I am embarassed
because they are too personal
but at the same time i remember the other girls in PV
and i know that they went through similiar things?
sorry if you go back to page like 96
you'll see why i'm touchy
and yes that was the gist of what you said

[Anonymous]

sorry you've always been nice
again i feel like what i say is relevant and needs to be said
because it's real and the truth
but then it seems too personal
also i write sometimes when things in my family get bad
so i'm angry or emotional and that's why i write
and then i read them later and I am embarassed
because they are too personal
but at the same time i remember the other girls in PV
and i know that they went through similiar things?
sorry if you go back to page like 96
you'll see why i'm touchy
and yes that was the gist of what you said sorry

[Froderik]

I'll have to chk it out later...
feel free to throw up a link to pg 96 if you want..
(it's many clicks away...i forget how to do it in the address bar)

[Anne Bonney]

I honestly don't mean this in a hurtful manner, but you're posts are extremely difficult to follow.  They're incredibly disorganized and rambling.  Maybe if you slowed down a bit and tried to organize your thoughts a little more it would help.

Smoke a bowl, relax.  Take the dog for a walk or go watch the sunset somewhere.  PTSD is a bitch.  It's easy to let all this overtake your life.  It's easy to get obsessed with it.  Just slaw down a little and take your time.  It won't be like this forever.

[Anonymous]

your right it's only another a year and maybe less hopefully
i think i'm just looking at it from the perspective of
oh my God it's another year of this.
at least i'm almost there
 :cry:
i'm kind of freaking out, if you can't tell
my mom and i were arguing
again oh my god another year of this
i start school very soon so i won't have time to freak any more

[Anonymous]

you know why this sounds convoluted i think
it's because it's real
i was reading what i wrote about my mom calling the cops because she said my dad hit her but she was kicking me out
and he didn't hit her but another time the cab company called the cops because he did hit me
like that is convoluted as hell
if i were going to write a short story or something i wouldn't tell it like that, but that's what happened pretty much to the letter
so the truth is convoluted i guess is what i'm saying here

[Anne Bonney]

your right it's only another a year and maybe less hopefully
i think i'm just looking at it from the perspective of
oh my God it's another year of this.
at least i'm almost there
 :cry:
i'm kind of freaking out, if you can't tell
my mom and i were arguing
again oh my god another year of this
i start school very soon so i won't have time to freak any more

you know why this sounds convoluted i think
it's because it's real
i was reading what i wrote about my mom calling the cops because she said my dad hit her but she was kicking me out
and he didn't hit her but another time the cab company called the cops because he did hit me
like that is convoluted as hell
if i were going to write a short story or something i wouldn't tell it like that, but that's what happened pretty much to the letter
so the truth is convoluted i guess is what i'm saying here

I know, and I know how hard it is when you begin to sort through all this.  I think when I said it was overwhelming, that might have been an understatement.  I was in a fog for about 4 years after beginning to deal with this.  To quote an often used phrase around here, I had no idea how deep the rabbit hole went.    

The good news is, you're in good company.  The majority of us have been through a program, some recently and for some of us geezers it's been 25 years.    As I said before, slow down.  Smoke a bowl or two if you need to.  Make sure you do things that will take your mind off of this shit every once in a while.  Don't spend all your waking moments on this.  I know it's easy to say that.  I was obsessed with finding out every piece of information I could about what happened to me.  That's OK, but remember that you DO have a life now and they can't take it away anymore.

Here's a few links that were really helpful to me.

http://www.ex-cult.org/General/lifton-criteria

http://www.ex-cult.org/General/singer-conditions

http://www.ex-cult.org/bite.html

http://www.ex-cult.org/General/totalism-group-dynamics

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-gulags.html





Hope this helps.

Peace.

 :smokin:

[Froderik]

Just slaw down a little and take your time.  It won't be like this forever.

I'm more of a potato salad kinda guy.. but perhaps that's good advice for mokara.