Will someone who went to Hyde please contact me right away

[Anonymous]

Oh it was there when you were there...It's where Mr. Bertschy's office was in the foyer in between the academic wing and the mansion.  Dean's area is where you go to get the sentence and punishment when you break an ethic.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, but dubinsky was at Woodstock after Bath, however he was transfered out of this position.  Of course we will never know why, but it was obvious to most.  I don't remember any other staff having the reputation he did.

[tommyfromhyde1]

On 2005-09-29 13:40:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Oh it was there when you were there...It's where Mr. Bertschy's office was in the foyer in between the academic wing and the mansion.  Dean's area is where you go to get the sentence and punishment when you break an ethic."

But it still would have been Mr. Bertschy's office.
He was still there then.  :smokin:

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense

--Buddha

[HydeFan]

I was a Hyde student and intern.  Hyde saved my life.  Yes, I did my share of time on 2-4, and AM-PM, and the like....and it helped me.....profoundly.

It helped me learn that whatever I thought on the surface was about as deep as mud.  It was the first time in my life someone demanded I take it to a deeper level and look within.  That was not going to happen if they did not first exhaust my body and boundless defiant energy.

FWIW, this is extremely similar to what happens in basic training in the military, and there, just as at Hyde, there are some people who don't or won't get it....and stay angry for the rest of their lives.

Of course, I would wager that more than 75% of Hyde students were never on 2-4, and probably had minimal entre into AM-PM, so we are talking a subset of a subset here.

To this day, I use the lessons I learned at Hyde, and if you didn't learn them, you couldn't have been paying attention.

I am sure at various periods in its history people abused their authority.  So what?  That happens EVERYWHERE.  Public schools, private schools, you name it.

I am also sure that Hyde had bad programs at times in its development.  Hyde was, invariably, experimental at its start and hopefully still is, as education, like surgery, starts with theory and soft science and evolves.

FWIW, most of what is being stated here sounds like a bunch of whiny kids looking to blame someone for their lives.

Thirty years later Tommy, and this is where you are at?  Trying to stir up a pot of shit to make you feel better about your life?  To blame someone else?

Want to see what truly abusive schools do?  Read the seeds forum.

I don't think Joe or Malcolm or any Gauld is God.  I also think there has been way too much Gauld in the school, but unlike the abusive schools that really were "fix it" schools, promising parents an end-result, Hyde was light-years beyond that.

It may as well have pioneered extending family systems therapy to the high-school setting and requiring parents to be part of the process, and if need be, to change.

My recommendation is to take to heart the notion that every day you have the chance to start your life over.  Why not choose today?  Real abuse, sure, hold onto it as long as it serves you, but this stuff....well, I feel a cross between empathy and pity for you.

[Anonymous]

Regarding the fundraising...it's obvisous that nobody is getting rich there...the money is actually needed for stuff like electricity, food and good teachers...they could just raise the tuition $2500 per kid, but instead they use the family weekend money pitch as a community builder...again..if you don't buy into the program..you don't get why you're being asked for money.
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Whoever wrote the above doesn't have a clue.  I challenge you to do a Dunn and Bradstreet on Hyde and you will be very surprised how well off Hyde and the Gauld's are.  They don't need fundraising for school supplies, they need it for their own pockets.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-11-08 22:37:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Regarding the fundraising...it's obvisous that nobody is getting rich there...the money is actually needed for stuff like electricity, food and good teachers...they could just raise the tuition $2500 per kid, but instead they use the family weekend money pitch as a community builder...again..if you don't buy into the program..you don't get why you're being asked for money.

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Whoever wrote the above doesn't have a clue.  I challenge you to do a Dunn and Bradstreet on Hyde and you will be very surprised how well off Hyde and the Gauld's are.  They don't need fundraising for school supplies, they need it for their own pockets.  "

Well, its actually "Dun" and Bradstreet, suggesting you haven't used the service much, because you won't get to their website with that spelling.  

I also want to compliment you on doing a nice job of insinuating culpability without actually providing any real info, too.

For $129 I don't think anyone here is ready to pull a D&B, and my guess is that the private financials of the Gaulds wouldn't be there in the first place, but gee, since you've done it and know the results, why not share them with us?

Otherwise, I think its safe to assume this poster is suffering from anal leakage.

I challenge you to do a Dunn and Bradstreet on Hyde and you will be very surprised how well off Hyde and the Gauld's are.

I wanted to repeat this part because of how truly crafty it is.  You make it seem like you have done a D&B, and you tell us we will be surprised at how "well off" they are (a statement you can make in all honesty without knowing the answer yourself).

Seriously....nice try.  I can only guess if you were a Hyde student, you were one of the folks with serious integrity issues.  You see, you told the literal truth, but my guess is it was dripping with gooey lies of innuendo.

Prove me wrong.....I think everyone here would love to be "surprised".

[Anonymous]

On 2005-10-02 01:35:00, HydeFan wrote:

"I was a Hyde student and intern.  Hyde saved my life.  Yes, I did my share of time on 2-4, and AM-PM, and the like....and it helped me.....profoundly.



It helped me learn that whatever I thought on the surface was about as deep as mud.  It was the first time in my life someone demanded I take it to a deeper level and look within.  That was not going to happen if they did not first exhaust my body and boundless defiant energy.



FWIW, this is extremely similar to what happens in basic training in the military, and there, just as at Hyde, there are some people who don't or won't get it....and stay angry for the rest of their lives.



Of course, I would wager that more than 75% of Hyde students were never on 2-4, and probably had minimal entre into AM-PM, so we are talking a subset of a subset here.



To this day, I use the lessons I learned at Hyde, and if you didn't learn them, you couldn't have been paying attention.



I am sure at various periods in its history people abused their authority.  So what?  That happens EVERYWHERE.  Public schools, private schools, you name it.



I am also sure that Hyde had bad programs at times in its development.  Hyde was, invariably, experimental at its start and hopefully still is, as education, like surgery, starts with theory and soft science and evolves.



FWIW, most of what is being stated here sounds like a bunch of whiny kids looking to blame someone for their lives.



Thirty years later Tommy, and this is where you are at?  Trying to stir up a pot of shit to make you feel better about your life?  To blame someone else?



Want to see what truly abusive schools do?  Read the seeds forum.



I don't think Joe or Malcolm or any Gauld is God.  I also think there has been way too much Gauld in the school, but unlike the abusive schools that really were "fix it" schools, promising parents an end-result, Hyde was light-years beyond that.



It may as well have pioneered extending family systems therapy to the high-school setting and requiring parents to be part of the process, and if need be, to change.



My recommendation is to take to heart the notion that every day you have the chance to start your life over.  Why not choose today?  Real abuse, sure, hold onto it as long as it serves you, but this stuff....well, I feel a cross between empathy and pity for you."

Whiny kids who want to blame others?  I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't blame Hyde for anything in my life now.  I have a great life, and I thank god every day for it.  But my Hyde experience was truly miserable and while I think some of the faculty meant well, it doesn't make up for the physical & mental cruelty, the arrogance & intolerance and the generally horrendous experience of being forced to spend three years at a place that just wasn't right for me in terms of educational and emotional development.  Not to mention having severe depression treated as a character problem.  It feels pretty damn good to get some of this off my chest.  And I hope that prospective parents will get to hear about the terrible experiences that many students had there before deciding to put their families through that place.

As far as I'm concerned, they can take the diploma they gave me and shove it up their asses.
When I donate money to educational institutions, it goes to my college and law schools, because they truly gave me the opportunity to succeed and live a good life.

Of course the Hyde troll on this board will probably spew some nonsense about how I "didn't get it" or that Hyde actually laid the foundation for my sucess.  And that's just nonsense.  Like another poster said, it's just sour grapes and the arrogance to believe that their cult approach is the only path to success in life.  Most of the people who really buy into their whole schtick don't do so well in the real world.

[Anonymous]

Of course the Hyde troll on this board will probably spew some nonsense about how I "didn't get it" or that Hyde actually laid the foundation for my sucess.  And that's just nonsense.  Like another poster said, it's just sour grapes and the arrogance to believe that their cult approach is the only path to success in life.  Most of the people who really buy into their whole schtick don't do so well in the real world."

You can set me up as the straw man if you want -- that is, to respond to my post as if I was saying something about you -- and then use that as your reference point to knock things back over the fence -- but the fact is my post was written in response to some specific posts written over 45 days ago, so unless you want to identify your prior posts, setting me up as your symbolic Hyde representative (which I'm not) seems dishonest.

Just so you know, to a fair degree, I don't have any major issues with what you've said here to the extent it isn't a reaction to me, and its just you just saying how you feel about your experience....but if (for instance) you were actually blaming Hyde on the state of your life now (30 years later aka TommyFromHyde), then depending on the context, I would probably be inclined to challenge that victim as being an unhealed if not profound distortion.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-09-13 13:08:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Boy there's a whole lot of negativity here..sheesh.

Hyde isn't for everyone, it's for people that aren't satisfied with the way things are going in their families...it's a lot of hard work.  And you gotta agree the reason you even looked at Hyde in the first place is that your kid was pretty f***ed up..right..well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree..if you know what I mean, so it doesn't surprise me that I'm reading this stuff.

I was a student and a faculty member and I've moved on, but I cherish the times I had as both student and staff member, it's a great place and it does wonders for the people who buy into the program, just like ANY program.  The people who you're hearing from are the ones that wanted their kids fixed, without having to do any work themselves.  As soon as the behavior looked better, they were out of there.

Regarding the fundraising...it's obvisous that nobody is getting rich there...the money is actually needed for stuff like electricity, food and good teachers...they could just raise the tuition $2500 per kid, but instead they use the family weekend money pitch as a community builder...again..if you don't buy into the program..you don't get why you're being asked for money.

This website/forum is not the place to find out if Hyde is right for your family...you should probably go up for an interview...it's free, you can see the school in action..good things and bad, and you can maybe learn about what your family should be dealing with and whether or not Hyde is the place for you.

And Tommy...There was no fund rasing in the parent seminars when you were there...it was really low key and done in the school meetings.  Joe asked parents for money now and then, but when you were there in '76 the only fund raising was to a few really rich people that helped out with America's Spirit.  By the way there's no mention of that on this site.  I got to sing on Broadway and at the Kennedy Center, I would have never had that opportunity if I didn't go to Hyde.  "

i recall this w/joe asking for parents to give according the their conscience.  as a student, I thought that sounded reasonable.  don't knwo what went on behind closed dorrs buyt my folks never said they were presseured.  

i also agree with most of this post.  its possible America's Spirit were the glory years for the school, but nothing moved me as powerfully as that show.

what i really suspect on this board is some basic differences over how one builds character in a child.  personally, i was terrified -- and delighted -- that i had to sing and dance in front of the school (or my summer school anyway).

[tommyfromhyde1]

Just so you know, to a fair degree, I don't have any major issues with what you've said here to the extent it isn't a reaction to me, and its just you just saying how you feel about your experience....but if (for instance) you were actually blaming Hyde on the state of your life now (30 years later aka TommyFromHyde), then depending on the context, I would probably be inclined to challenge that victim as being an unhealed if not profound distortion."

Funny, I don't recall blaming Hyde on the state of my life.

The sadist cannot stand the separation of the public and the private; nor can he grant to others the mystery of their personality, the validity of their inner self...in order for him to feel his maximum power, he wants the world to be peopled with concrete manipulatable objects...
-- ERNEST BECKER, The Structure of Evil, 1968.

[Lars]

Forcing the kids to go through these "auditions" IS abuse.  And if you aren't a good singer or dancer, being forced to do these things in front of an audience is not fun, nor is it character-building.  It's just plain humiliating.  

This board isn't about highlighting differences in how we can build character in our children.  It's about people who have been hurt by the abuse, the hypocrisy, the arrogance, the forced intrusions into their families' private lives (done by amateurs) and the treatment of serious mental health issues as character flaws.

It's about people who want to get the word to families in crisis that there are better, kinder and more effective ways to deal with the problems they face.  My parents made a bad choice.  I forgive them.  But I won't forgive Hyde, and like other people on this board, I don't want others to make the same mistake my parents did.  I had issues, sure.  But they panicked, and fell for Gauld's spiel instead of finding a place that could really help me.  I hope other families can use the comments on this board to make better choices[ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2005-11-10 12:28 ]

[Anonymous]

On 2005-11-10 12:27:00, Lars wrote:

"Forcing the kids to go through these "auditions" IS abuse.  And if you aren't a good singer or dancer, being forced to do these things in front of an audience is not fun, nor is it character-building.  It's just plain humiliating.  



This board isn't about highlighting differences in how we can build character in our children.  It's about people who have been hurt by the abuse, the hypocrisy, the arrogance, the forced intrusions into their families' private lives (done by amateurs) and the treatment of serious mental health issues as character flaws.



It's about people who want to get the word to families in crisis that there are better, kinder and more effective ways to deal with the problems they face.  My parents made a bad choice.  I forgive them.  But I won't forgive Hyde, and like other people on this board, I don't want others to make the same mistake my parents did.  I had issues, sure.  But they panicked, and fell for Gauld's spiel instead of finding a place that could really help me.  I hope other families can use the comments on this board to make better choices[ This Message was edited by: Lars on 2005-11-10 12:28 ]"

I vividly recall the FLC I attended where parents were expected to sing a song.  I was fully prepared to do that and did so willingly.  But (and this is one of those Hyde golden moments), I made the "mistake" of asking the seminar leader for a brief explanation of the rationale for the exercise.  I naively assumed the group would have a brief and interesting discussion of the conceptual rationale and purpose.  Wow, was I wrong!  The seminar leader scolded me for questioning the exercise in any way, shape or form.  I was told in no uncertain terms that our task was to do as asked and let the moment speak for itself.  

Now isn't that sound educational role modeling?  Teach students not to question or inquire.  Teach them to accept orders with blind faith.  Gee, doesn't that sound rather cult-like?  This is yet another amazing example of Hyde's notorious hypocrisy.  Lecture kids and parents about the importance of character.  Then, throw ice cold water on their constructive questions.

Is it any wonder that there are so many people who resent and detest everything that is Hyde related?  Hyde's lack of self awareness is mind numbing.

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm. Well, when I was at Hyde, first thing is that I knew as part of coming to the school there was mandatory participation in singing or dancing.  The second thing was I got to chose between the two, so I had a choice, so its hard for me (with a meager but not horrible voice) to see it even remotely resembling abuse.  

What I remember is that when people got up there and were timid and made excuses and somehow showed attitide, they were challenged.

I learned from this.  I learned to put myself out in the world boldly and with confidence, and not let my self-perceptions limit me.  

I take to heart the words of Henry Miller:  "All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.?  ~ Henry Miller

That's what being a kid is about.  And that's also the role of good teachers.

[Lars]

We didn't get to choose anything.  Getting up and doing this crap may  have made some people feel braver, but from what I remember, the people who enjoyed this were the weak-minded types who bought into the cult hook, line & sinker.

While it's true that forcing one's self to do things they don't enjoy is part of succeeding in life, Hyde had an unhealthy fetish for that kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

On 2005-11-10 15:11:00, Lars wrote:

"...but from what I remember, the people who enjoyed this were the weak-minded types who bought into the cult hook, line & sinker."

I totally agree.  Singing and dancing.  Pushing one's edge.  Having someone ask more of you than you would ever ask for yourself.  That stuff's for pansies, man!