http://www.theness.com/articles/theprey ... s0104.htmlPART II
In the first of this two part article, we looked at the many mechanisms cults use to ensnare their members, and how good folk might be susceptible to them. In this part, we will examine the aftermath of emerging from a cult, and the return to a productive life.
By Perry DeAngelis
The New England Journal of Skepticism Vol. 2 Issue 1 (Winter '99)
The experience of coming out of a cult is much more difficult than entering one. On the way in all is sugar and light. The courting process has just begun and you are still feeling that the cult is enhancing your personality. It is only during the exiting process that you learn the cult has in fact stolen it. The damaging methods a cult uses to beguile members leaves mental wounds in the former member that often take years to heal. The reduction of one?s will to resist and the degradation of one?s critical faculties make the transition back to freedom very difficult.
There are several key characteristics that accompany almost all ex-cult members:
Fear is a ubiquitous concern of ex-cult members. Many cults use all sorts of fear to maintain loyalty to the group. Everything from denunciation, to claims of damnation, to physical force has been used to both retain and return members. Ex-members are often encouraged, if not forced, to change locations, telephone numbers and even their names to escape the harassment of their former groups. Of course, this fear is always much more acute when a family member, particularly a child, is left in the group. The group can threaten the child with sanctions unless the member returns, and at the very least almost always severs all contact with the ?traitor.?
Another after-effect that ex-cult members must deal with is ?flashback.? Not unlike ?shellshock,? (wherein combat veterans react with inappropriate motion and fear to any loud noise), ex-cult members will sometimes find themselves wandering back to the trance-like state they were ensconced in during their cultic days. These times of ?floating? are triggered by stress, deep depressions, or when the cult?s jargon is heard even in completely unrelated contexts. These flashbacks decrease in frequency over time, but can last for months. (Singer, 1995)
The attack on one?s mentality when in a cult leaves the victim?s cognitive skills dulled. It takes time to retrain one?s mind to evaluate and perceive in ?real time.? The outside world is a busy and complex place. The empty simplicity of the cultic core is gone, and the sensory input can sometimes be daunting to one who has languished in trance-like obedience for an extended period of time. For this reason, tasks should be attempted in ascending level of difficulty and complexity, as one would when training to do these things for the first time.
Many ex-members report that they are often consumed with guilt, a guilt which may take many forms. When within the cult, members are often forced to perform illegal activities, learning to con, trick and steal from others. They compel donations in a variety of dishonest and coercive manners. They expel personal morality to the will of the cult and this leaves them deeply ashamed. They are uncertain how they can face up to these actions, and how they can repay those they themselves victimized. Further, ex-members may feel very troubled about close friends and family members that were left behind in the cult. This makes the dismissal of the cult very difficult. When their feelings for those still within the cult call to them most strongly, they may even begin to get doubts about leaving the cult. Maybe it was they who failed, and not the cult or the loved ones still within. How can it be so totally wrong if my wife still adheres relentlessly to the teachings? Could the leader have been right? This miasma of doubt and confusion can be debilitating and slow recovery to a crawl. Finally, ex-members must come to face those that they severed in the outside world when they were absorbed by the cult. How can they ever hope to explain to them what it took to make them sever all ties, and indeed, to deride them? When faced with the love and concern that loved ones maintained for them even when they were chanting of their evils at the leader?s behest, the look in the mirror can be shattering.
This shame leads directly into another very real problem faced by ex-cult members ? the continual bombardment of questions, and the obligation to explain to everyone. It is exceptionally difficult to explain to those never victimized by a recruiter and thence a cult about the subtleties of manipulation and coercion that ensnared them. To describe the charisma of the leader in full spread and the atmosphere of euphoria that the combined manipulation of the cult could cause is all but impossible to those not initiated into the psychology of totalistic groups. It leaves ex-cult members feeling as if no one on the outside understands what they went through and makes them feel pitied. Further, family and friends often put the emerged under a microscope, watching for any signs of weakness that may be indications that the ex-member may again become the mark of the old, or even a new, group. This situation often leads to encounters where both the watchers and the watched sense an air of concern, but fail to communicate it effectively. Tensions can quickly rise under such circumstances and the ex-members sense of self-worth can be eroded by the perceived feeling that loved ones do not believe they can care for themselves properly.
The entire sense of self that was so artificially inflated at times in the cult must be reassessed in a realistic state. No longer can the person consider themselves the ?chosen.? In the cult they may have been the ?saviors of mankind,? or the ?sources of eternal light and reason,? all of which must be let go. They are suddenly just like everyone else; still searching, still struggling, and still hoping. They are left feeling that perhaps they are not only not chosen, but that they are valueless. They have very difficult times learning to trust again. Fear of being victimized again can make them cynical and distant. The question of how they can join any other group and not be corrupted again is an ever-present one. (Lifton, 1989)
Helping Victims Cope
The primary way one can help an ex-cult member reemerge as a healthy person, is through understanding ? understanding their plight and helping them to understand what happened to them. It must be explained to them with firm compassion that they were the victims of a time tested cohesive and insidious set of manipulations that have ensnared countless millions. They must be made to see how and why they were ensnared, and given the tools to avoid it in the future.
What follows is a list of questions that have been found to be helpful when worked through with ex-cult members. They are excerpted from ?Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: Freedom and Recovery from Cults and Abusive Relationships? by Madeleine Tobias and Janja Lalich. (Tobias, 1994)
Reviewing their recruitment:
1. What was going on in your life at the time you joined the group or met the person who became your abusive partner?
2. How and where were you approached?
3. What was your initial reaction to or feeling about the leader or group?
4. What first interested you in the group or leader?
5. How were you misled during recruitment?
6. What did the group or leader promise you? Did you ever get it?
7. What didn?t they tell you that might have influenced you not to join had you known?
8. Why did the group or leader want you?
Understanding the psychological manipulation used in the group:
1. Which controlling techniques were used by your group or leader: chanting, meditation, sleep deprivation, isolation, drugs, hypnosis, criticism, fear. List each technique and how it served the group?s purpose.
2. What was the most effective? the least effective?
3. What technique are you still using that is hard to give up? Are you able to see any effects on you when you
practice these?
4. What are the group?s beliefs and values? How did they come to be your beliefs and values?
Examining their doubts
1. What are your doubts about the group or leader now?
2. Do you still believe the group or leader has all or some of the answers?
3. Are you still afraid to encounter your leader or group members on the street?
4. Do you ever think of going back? What is going on in your mind when this happens?
5. Do you believe your group or leader has any supernatural or spiritual power to harm you in any way?
6. Do you believe you are cursed by God for having left the group?
The above questions will help the victim understand the mechanisms that enslaved them and allow them to talk openly about their fears, both past and current. Once the victim begins to see themselves as a victim and appreciates the need to avoid such in the future, the rebuilding and reawakening process of their atrophied critical faculties can begin in earnest.
The ex-member must be reoriented to ?reality.? This process can be accomplished by simple tasks that help them to rebuild a fulfilling connection with the outside world. Anything that might bewilder or entrance must be meticulously avoided. No drugs or alcohol should be consumed during this tenuous time. Anything that might cause a state of sensory overload should be avoided (loud music, crowds, a large urban environment, etc). The maintenance of routines in the early recovery stages are a good idea. Making checklists of activities and following the schedule is important, as is planning out purchases and projects well beforehand. The reorientation to reality can be accomplished by keeping apprised of current events, via newspapers, television news and talk shows, and talk radio. It has been suggested that using a timer and increasing reading periods progressively can increase reading ?stamina.? (Patrick, 1999)
When all of the above are coupled with the love of friends and family, anyone emerging from a totalistic group can once again join the ranks of the free willed. Membership in a cult may be a dark chapter in one?s life, but it need not be the entire story.
References:
1) Singer, Margaret T. Cults in Our Midst. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1995.
2) Lifton, Robert, Jay, M.D. Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism. The University of North Carolina Press / Chapel Hill and London, 1961, r1989.
3) Tobias, Madeleine and Lalich, Janja. Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: Freedom and Recovery from Cults and Abusive Relationships. New York, NY: Hunter House Publishers, 1994.
4) Ryan, Patrick L. Coping With Trance States: The Aftermath of Leaving a Cult,
http://www.csj.org/studyindex/studyreco ... trance.htm, January 1999
