Need thoughts on Ridge Creek.

[Nihilanthic]

Heap of abuse?

HEAP OF ABUSE?

Shes gonna send her kid away becuase the new fuck-buddy doesn't get along with the kid, he doesnt like tennis, and his grades are falling. This is NORMAL BEHAVIOR.

And no amount of me badgering her on a fucking forum on the fucking internet can EVER compare to what a program does to you, every day, all day, for years, totally helpless to do anything about it, where "lucif" can just fucking ignore it or walk away from the computer.

Not only that, but its her own child she would do this to over something so stupid. The person with the entitlement issue is her, thinking she can just give her kid to strangers and "dont even tell me what you do, just 'fix him' and give him back in two years or when he turns 18".

To be quite honest, someone needs to man up and explain to these fucking LUNATICS you don't send your child to a concentration camp with new-agey psycho-cryfest seminars, levels, restraints and sub-prison level food just because you can't handle being mom anymore.

And no, I wasn't in a program, I actually express myself if I get so mad I can't hold it in anymore!

[69]

blah blah blah its all the same right

[Nihilanthic]

You're right, I probably did blow up too much, but I'm really tired of sugarcoating to someone "um, they dont give therapy at all, nothing is wrong, and you need to just suck it up and be a mom" and act like they're the victim and be oh so nice to them.

Wouldn't you think how FUCKED UP these places leave people might steer her away from them? I'm really amazed someone could be so stupid and so selfish as to think its just perfectly normal and OK and effective and correct to send their own child away to get tortured for a year or two becuase mommy doesn't know how to be a mommy anymore and her new hubby and the kid don't get a long.

Its not just giving up being a parent, but its for the stupidest of all reasons I could possibly see! School in america is a fucking JOKE, I myself had zero motivation to do anything involving "school" until I got into College (which is so much easier and better overall...) and if he isn't interested in tennis, whoop-de-fuckin-do, lady!

Jesus H. Christ some days its just impossible to deal with it. I'm really amazed someone can have the money to afford a program but so little common sense they would think of using it.

But yeah, I should go apologize to someone DESPERATELY trying to give herself peace of mind by panicing over tennis, her new "partner" and a lack of interest in school from a 17 year old. "Im so sorry you have no common sense".

Cry me a river! Seriously. Someone else can go rub her shoulders and go "there, there"... its not about her, its about her kid. I'm just about fed up with the selfish dumbasses running around and fucking their kids up for life out of thier own selfish motivations. When do the PARENTS get held accountable for their bad decisions?

[69]

When do the PARENTS get held accountable for their bad decisions?

at all the upcoming thanksgivings and christmas holidays they spend alone wondering why my kids and grandkids wont come to visit.

[Nihilanthic]

Hah.

Sorry but I see another self-absorbed sobfest about why their children don't love them after quite literally putting them through hell as kind of trite. What that does to the children who go through life without family is a lot worse than someone wanting the perks of being a parent but was not willing to actually BE a good parent.

At any rate, I guess I need to go cool off and look at the big picture. Saving a kid from hell is a bit more important than venting... especialyu given the said kid can't ever express himself or vent stress one iota in a program.

[69]

:wink:

[Nihilanthic]

I don't give a fuck if Lon gets his panties in a twist or not.

I'm honetsly just exasperated that someone can think losing interest in the public school system, tennis, and not liking your new fuckbuddy after a divorce is anything but to be expected or something that would be fixed with years of torture.

I really don't see the thought process here, but I guess thats because they're not thinking, they're "feeling" and are panicing for one reason or another.

But the BS-Detector makes me wonder how the fuck someone could find out about programs but not have already talked to an ed-con that would most certainly have convinced them by now...

... and why they wouldn't go to a damned psych. by now who would calmly explained "its becuase hes not his father, and divorces are stressful, tennis is gay and public school is fucked up" in more polite terms for Mrs. Robinson there.

 :roll:

[69]

i was totally full of shit. fuck program praents.  :wink:

[Nihilanthic]

Shoudln't our motivation be saving children from abuse and getting the one in a thousand who actually needs therapy what they need instead of spite against some washed up lesbian-nun looking fag from Idaho?

Its not about him, its not about us, its not about our mixed feelings for these parents... its about the thousands of kids being tortured this very fucking moment, and if we can possibly save some from that, see if we can get a few out of there, and if we can possibly spread enough awareness that this might be minimized or meaningful legislation would work to end it.

So yeah, I'm all for lurking on Lon's forum and giving THE FACTS to the people who need to hear it, but... why bother calling it a shit pit? All thats gonna do is make some ST lurker on here see it, whine to Jena/Lon and make them make another PSA about how awful fornits is  :rofl: and as amusing as that might be, it would be working against what we're trying to do.

[69]

i am so full of it. i hate my parents.  :wink:

[Nihilanthic]

you say you dont understand the thought proccess behind the parents decision so why not ask them. they wont bite. hate is a waste of time when you are trying to help kids its more useful to know what goes on in the heads of program parents.

the parent probably censors their own thoughts. they have no idea what its like to be a teenager thesedays, they are so ignorant that yes, they think a program is a good idea. maybe if the parent took the time to read some stuff they didn't agree with, writings from teenagers and stuff like that, on fornits or not, they would begin to understand their kid isn't as weird or scary as they originally thought.

sometimes i think programs are only htere to take advantage of a certain level of ignorance and fear. the way to dispell both those things is through dialogue and understanding.

You're probably right... and the only way anyone could possibly have anything to do with a program is ignorance about what really goes on in there.

The kids probably stressed out to hell from a divorce... momma is too, most likely, and some forked-tongued lizard told her that some program has all the answers!

Well, if she's still reading, I'm offering my apologies, but you RELALY gotta do some damn research, lady! Its nearly 2007, GOOGLE is really easy to use, and you might wanna get a start at www.ISACCORP.org . There just isn't an excuse anymore to remain ignorant when its so easy to find out all the facts.

[psy]

There's a lot of talk here from members wanting to prevent parents from sending their kids to programs and another load of talk about how ST is a money making machine who only have that option in mind

Yet a parent comes here to te their story and they get a heap of abuse.....what do you suppose they're going to do? Yes that's right, they're going to stop posting here and go back to ST to be talked into sending their child away

In this particular case the kid needs to be at home or at his dad's house, NOT in a program, I just hope Lucif (the real one) can get over what's been said here and get some constructive views so she can amke a decision based on help from all sides....I've already said on ST that I personally feel this lad is being a sulky teen (like they are) and doesn't need to be sent away, where I was told pretty much that I can't relate to being a good parent, is that what you guys want? For her to go post there where she  is being encouraged big time to send him away?

You're not helping her, you're pushing her away toward people who will be nice to her and help her get her son into a program, that defeats your objective does it not?

You're absolutely positively right.  Some parents are nuts, or assholes, or psychos, but they still might have a normal kid.  If you don't want that normal kid to end up in program you have to humor the wacky parent.  Parents have little or no idea what goes on in these places anyway.  They have a "problem" and they trust the "professionals" to fix it.

If you want to convince them not to do that, you have to talk in such a way that they will listen, even if it means biting your tongue.

[exhausted]

If I may...I'll give you a little insight into program parent's thinking, I very nearly sent my child to one, in fact the thought still crosses my mind from time to time when things get really rough, uckily for all of us i usually calm down and rethink every time...so here goes

it is panic, sheer and utter fear that you're most precious thing ever in your life is going to screw up the rest of their lives with the bad choices they make as youngsters

It is tearing your hair out, remember parents are people too and deserve to have a life, there are only so many times you can have the cops on your doorstep, neighbours carrying on at you, that fear of the phone call saying they are dead at the worst case scenario, the waiting for any drugs they are taking to psycologically screw them forever, with no turning back, bringing a child into the world, loving them, woprrying about them and caring for their every need will drive you to try anything!

it is exhaustian, an unruly teen wears a parent mentally, physically, emmotionally because of the above - all of these things grow into a big mountain of stress, worry and fear, triggering an overwhelming desire to stop them wrecking their lives in any way possible, in most cases this means a program, because it seems like the only option when you consider everything the programs offer in their brochures

i want to add I'm not just talkig about this particular case, I'm talking as a parent who could easily have fallen into the whole program experience, and who knows may still yet....I'm just glad I am able to (at the moment) see that whatever decisions my boys make, they are their decisions, if they choose to go bad, they have to face the consequences of going bad, I tell them this, they know i love them, but I won't accept responsibility for their life choices, I've shown them in the past and still continue to show them, what is right and wrong, they are given the choice, it's up to them ultimately, not all parents can tough it out like I have so far ....  scaring already scared parents away from the forum isn't going to help much though....a little support could go a long way in helping them to make decisions

[Deborah]

*** bringing a child into the world, loving them, woprrying about them and caring for their every need will drive you to try anything!

The message here, over and over, is that parents largely over-react. They live in fear and make all their decisions based on fear. That is not useful or effective in achieving what they ultimately want.

The number one killer of teens here is auto accidents, not drugs or suicide or any of the other things parents obsess about it.
Do they sit around wringing their hands in fear about their kids being killed the next time they load them up to go to the grocery store? No.
Do they loose sleep at night over the possibility that their kids will die from cancer, the number 3 killer? No. Do they attempt to do anything about their kids nutritional needs, etc to eliminate or decrease the odds of their kid developing cancer? No.

The hysteria isn't warranted. Here's just a couple of many links to accurate information to dispell those fears.
http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p= ... cer#182067
http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p= ... ncer#31500

In fact parents are being 'manipulated' and 'deceived' with 'fear mongering' put out by those who financially gain from their fear- drug companies, programs, etc.

[Deborah]

Another divorced, but remarried parent who felt it necessary to get the kid out of the house. A Diary of Disappointment.

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?p= ... auto#64729