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Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => CAN ~ Collective Action Network => Topic started by: AuntieEm2 on August 12, 2008, 10:03:16 AM

Title: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: AuntieEm2 on August 12, 2008, 10:03:16 AM
This topic (below) was introduced on another thread by DGSe, and I know this is something I still do not fully understand. Put another way (from DSD, modified): What is the psychology of the parents that make programs possible?

Comments? (Please forgive cross-postings; I was encouraged to post this in more than one forum.)
 
Auntie Em


Quote from DGSe/ohhellheah:
Quote
DIFFERENT TYPES OF PROGRAM PARENTS:

TRICKED-- parents whose kids go to a program voluntarily. Entire family involved thinks they are going to some treatment center/school. When their kids say they are being mistreated they respond responsibly. They notice and respond to obvious warning signs

ex: "erica's mom"

INADEQUATE-- parent is mentally ill, or incompetent.
ex: lulu Corter's mom

ABANDONER-- parent wants to rid themselves of burden. They are often Adoptive or steparents

ABUSE/CONTROLLER-- Parents want kid to be punished//suffer be humbled. They want control of their kid in a ver unhealthy way

ex: paul richard's parents

CULT member-- these parents start off as any of the hitherto mentioned type, and get sucked in/brainwashed. They live their lives for the cult. They donate huge amounts of money and time to the cult. They are not simply "brainwashed" in the sense they are mis led or tricked. They live on campus, spend a lot of time in meetings.
ex Ginger's parents
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: Che Gookin on August 12, 2008, 08:41:34 PM
Quote
ABANDONER-- parent wants to rid themselves of burden. They are often Adoptive or steparents

ABUSE/CONTROLLER-- Parents want kid to be punished//suffer be humbled. They want control of their kid in a ver unhealthy way

I met alot of these types. Real wackjobs.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: sicktomystomach on August 23, 2008, 01:04:58 PM
Quote
TRICKED-- parents whose kids go to a program voluntarily. Entire family involved thinks they are going to some treatment center/school. When their kids say they are being mistreated they respond responsibly. They notice and respond to obvious warning signs

Tricked parent here. They sure are good at their con game!
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: Che Gookin on August 31, 2008, 11:34:07 AM
Yeah they are clever at scamming people for sure.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: ZenAgent on September 01, 2008, 01:25:28 AM
Quote from: "AuntieEm2"
ABUSE/CONTROLLER-- Parents want kid to be punished//suffer be humbled. They want control of their kid in a very unhealthy way

My family dealt with this parental aberration.  Che remembers when my wife and I (especially me) were venting spleen about the damage being done to my step daughter by her egotistical, narcissist, borderline personality father. His alcoholism, an unholy anger issue, and two years of estrangement from his daughter over booze made him a nut-boy close to the boiling point with frustration and blind rage. The father wouldn't accept that his behavior was causing the rift, he saw it as paternal betrayal by a willful child.  He became an unhinged, vengeful freak intent on punishing his defiant daughter and forcing her to submit to his will by breaking her on the wheel.  With "unlimited resources" provided by a Palm Beach relative, this bull in a china shop hired an attorney who was evil personified to sidestep the legal system and literally kidnap his own child with dull-witted assistance from the police.  Once the father had temporary custody, he placed his honor roll daughter in Peninsula Village to "save her life".  Dad had found the perfect instrument to punish/torture his daughter in PV.  The program would be "Dad-dictated" since he was paying the $8700 a month for treatment.  He held the reins for almost five months pretending the funding came directly from him.

PV immediately started making my step daughter suffer in a way that pleased the bankrolling parent.  Staff brutally assaulted her in a five person pileup/"restraint" in front of her mother. The clinical director placed our girl on "Rx - Mother Restriction"  because my wife had "broken the rules" by photographing the out-of-control and mindless attack on her child.  "Mother Restriction" meant my step daughter was denied any contact with her mother and was not allowed to mention her mother at all .  According to Dr. Adam McLain, the purpose of "mother restriction" was to encourage the girl to "differentiate".  Outside the clinical milieu of Peninsula Village, "mother restriction" is called "parental alienation".  Dr. McLain's childish war of wills against a 17 yr. old girl kept my wife from seeing her daughter for the next five months.  Peninsula's treatment team viewed my wife as "demanding" when she would call in tears and literally beg to know if her daughter was alive, since McLain had stepped up "Mom X" by not allowing the family therapist to call my wife with updates.  McLain did this in retaliation for "Peninsula Village materials being posted on the internet in a slanderous and defamatory way".  When my step daughter's long-time pediatrician tested PV's policy of allowing doctors to treat their patients who were in PV, she was denied.  She was told by the therapist that PV had a doctor on staff and her services were unnecessary.  The therapist later told the pediatrician PV's treatment team might reconsider letting her examine her patient if she "could get the mother to remove the internet postings about PV,"
 
My step daughter was very aware she didn't belong in PV and her father was sliding off the rails.  She refused to drink the KoolAid and never left the level 3 lock-down unit during her six months of hell.  She gained 40 pounds on her runner's frame from sitting on a bed 8 hours a day.  She participated in one minor revolt on the unit.  She resisted the best efforts of the sadistic staff to "break her".  PV's treatment team blamed my wife for their failure to crush her, claiming mother and daughter were in collusion, despite "Mother Restriction".

The rich Palm Beach relative noticed the extra $350 charge for a "physical restraint" and realized PV was not a normal boarding school for young ladies.  He pulled the plug on funding.  PV discovered their "Daddy Warbucks" was really "Mr. Pitiful", and he became shit in their sight.  Custody reverted when all attorneys involved concluded the placement at PV "should never have happened".  Dad washed his hands of it and disowned his daughter, Old Testament-style.  We brought her home and she entered her Senior year midway through and still graduated with Honors.

What did her father gain/accomplish in his attempt to humble, punish, and gain control of his daughter while punishing her mother as well?  Complete alienation from his only daughter, contempt from everyone aware of his actions, PTSD and nightmares for my wife and daughter, termination of PV's entire clinical staff, from the administrator to the family therapist (BONUS!), and a sad, dead attorney - our first lawyer, who's last day in Court was, in his words, "a debacle".  The Chancellor refused to admit the custody order was void on it's face and "a con had been presented before the Court".  The father's affidavit was "spurious" and void, but the Chancellor refused to throw it out.  Our attorney - one-time Mayor of Knoxville, an eloquent, well-versed lawyer - spent his last day in Court watching a bottom-feeding punk thumb his nose at him while abusing the "mechanisms" of the law, with no objections from the Judge.  My wife and I didn't realize it was his last case until we learned he had died.  It's terrible knowing his last court room experience was so fucking grotesque.
 
A Psychiatrist familiar with my step daughter and her father told me "it was a control issue for her father, he wanted complete control over her".  No amount of "Tough love" can force real love.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: Che Gookin on September 02, 2008, 11:07:53 AM
Venting... YOU CALL IT VENTING?  :o

To true though.. that dude is off the chain strange. Reminds me of a case of a dad I encountered at 3 springs.

He wasn't the worst guy I ever met, but he did seem to enjoy the idea of his son doing consequences. On parents day he'd get all sort of excited about his boy doing some hard labour details. I really wondered about the guy, but in the end I think it worked out ok as I tried to make it a point to remind the guy that accentuating the positive goes a great deal farther.

Of course the 3 springs methodology included taking away certain perks of parents day from the kids if they were showing their asses and completely ignoring the fact that they were showing their asses because they were scared out of their mind about parent' day visitations.

So this kid got most of his activities taken away and was going to have to spend the whole day doing nothing and watching his parents from the distance.

This bothered me.

So I put the kid on quiet time for the whole day before and made him chop wood away from the group. Every 20 minutes he behaved and chopped wood he earned back another activity. He earned them all back before lunchtime. It was a pleasure letting him know this the next day about 5 minutes before his parents showed up. I nearly had to tape him to a wall to keep him from bouncing off everything. heh.. excitable young man to say the least.

The worst parents in my experience are the parents who are so negative about their kids that they can no longer take joy or pride in the fact that their children can succeed. These parents scare me the most.

When all else fails.. FOR the love of god.. PLEASE remember that kids, adults, everyone thrives off positive affirmation. Take it upon yourself to praise your kids.. take it upon yourself to do things with your kids.. Most parents I suspect don't understand or can't communicate with their children because they don't take it upon themselves to do much of anything with their kids in the first place.

Why ship your kid off to the cubscouts to go camping when you can take him yourself?

I don't have a problem with kids playing video games.. I like playing them myself.. but why not get one of those nifty X-box systems where you can throw down with your kid?

Take your frustration out on him in mortal combat yo.. I mean then you can tear his heart out and kick it around without getting arrested.

Another thing that surprises me is how few people make it a priority to eat together as a family. Doesn't have to be every meal, but man.. What a missed opportunity to engage each other in conversation and to give praise for events that have occurred that day.

Of course, parents like Zen describes.. well not much you can do with them other than my one size fits all therapy for them. I mean really.. do we need to have a selection of shovels to dig the hole? I think we only need one size of shovel.. and a .45 works for just about everything.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: Sam Kinison on April 02, 2009, 04:07:03 PM
In spite of the suicides and premature involuntary deaths,my mother,30 years later,thinks Str8 saved my life.She thinks that she did a great thing putting me in there.The fact that not one of my real issues were treated and all were caused by substance experimentation/abuse and when this started to surface five or six years after my departure,I became a high risk suicide statistic.She thinks that me not being a user today was because of the time I was in Str8.The fact that I'm not,nor never was,an addict never occurs to her and the therapy was horseshit because how can treating a non existent problem ever be contorted to be called therapy?How can having life altering decisions being left in the hands of a bunch of unqualified basket cases be a good thing?The worst thing.......NOTHING will ever open her eyes.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: iamartsy on April 03, 2009, 05:00:33 AM
type=Abusive in my case.Then and now! That feels good to get off my chest. If anyone can provide me housing for a few weeks in Denver or Boulder please let me know. I have to get away from them.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: FemanonFatal2.0 on April 03, 2009, 05:10:27 AM
Would Katie Carter's parents be considered abusive or cult members?
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: anythinganyone on August 14, 2009, 02:49:03 AM
Mine would be a mix between inadqeuete and abuse/controller.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: M_Hilton on August 17, 2009, 06:59:14 PM
ABANDONER
as much as i hate to say it my aunt still thinks it was the right thing and she "didnt know what else to do"
to be far and i know ill take flack for this she didnt have to take me in when my mom (her younger sister) got sick (my mom has MS)
and thanks to all kinds of stuff that happend befor hand she took in a 11 year old with severe mental illness
but thats nether here nor their

such is life as they say
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: Miss Antsy Pam on August 18, 2009, 09:09:41 AM
Quote from: "FemanonFatal2.0"
Would Katie Carter's parents be considered abusive or cult members?

I think Katie's parents are BOTH!  Me...I feel I was TRICKED and desperate...still NO EXCUSE for what I did to my son.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: TheWho on August 18, 2009, 09:53:42 AM
Quote
What is the psychology of the parents that make programs possible?
[/b]

Programs get their fuel from parents willing to take that next step in getting help for their kids outside the home.  These are parents that are at their wits end.  They have exhausted all local options and are living with a child who just isnít responding to or are participating in the family unit.  The parents come from all walks of life, economic and educationally diverse.  What they have in common is a commitment to see that their child gets the help they need.  Many parents may be broken down at this point with their family unit in shambles.  Getting the help for the child outside the home also allows the rest of the family to heal and get back to a normal life style and place a more balanced focus on the kids in the family who are not at risk.  This is very attractive to a family which is experiencing the rest of their kids starting to suffer because of all the attention going to and the damage being cause by the one at-risk child.

I dont believe there is a common personality type within the parent sub group.  As I see it the common denominator are the children who are struggling under their care.

Also, I read quite a bit of Katies parents blog and didnt see any entries of them joining or belonging to a cult as was stated a few times here.  I dont see them as the type. Her biological mother was more inclined to be a follower of a "group" then her father and step mom.   Katies account indicated signs of verbal abuse by her step mother, but the parents blog also told a different side.  When you read both stories you are better able to see the dynamics within the family and what set off the various chain of events which lead to Katies placement.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: anythinganyone on August 23, 2009, 04:09:21 PM
Quote from: "Whooter"
I'm looking to provoke.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: xEnderx on September 07, 2009, 11:23:09 PM
Quote
TRICKED-- parents whose kids go to a program voluntarily. Entire family involved thinks they are going to some treatment center/school. When their kids say they are being mistreated they respond responsibly. They notice and respond to obvious warning signs


I think that one thing in this group that needs to be kept in the primary train of thought is the desperation and fear of said demographic. Parents that become afraid of the negative behaviors expressed by children become easy prey for anyone offering "salvation", "a cure", "help", etc regardless of the credentials of those offering the service. Also keep in mind that many of these programs can say "20+ years experience helping troubled teens" by virtue of their existence and graduation of kids each year.

Examine the fear and promote education for this group of parents because frankly, most of the other groups you mentioned are too damaged in their own rights to really be expected to react in a healthy manner to "troubled" teens.
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: MommaB23 on June 24, 2010, 03:09:13 PM
My parents were originally tricked and have become borderline cult members. I was at Canyon View Park and off branch of SCLA and it kinda sucks knowing that the program screwed me up emotionally pretty bad with their methods of attack therapy, I am way more insecure now than I was when I went in, but I am a survivor and I will overcome. To the parents of teens, if you have not gotten your son or daughters medical records from the program of which they are or were attending, you will probably fight a hard battle of getting them. Main Street Medical claims that the program owns our medical records. I am excited to have found this site because I was able to get ahold of Cameron Pullan and he is forcing the issue of me getting my medical records. I would suggest for any parents or ex-students that would like to get their hands on their medical files from SCLA, CVP, and CR contact mainstreet medical and ask to speak to Angela, if that doesn't work, call Cameron directly. :soapbox:
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: kadforacn on July 09, 2010, 11:46:49 PM
I was a parent merely looking for help for my suicidal son.  I had tried a psychiatrist, a counselor, and a school counselor and all had failed him.  My son admitted feeling suicidal again, so I phoned the counselor he had seen, who recommended Red Rock.  When I called Red Rock, fearful and sleep deprived (for MONTHS), I was promised that this facility was the answer to our prayers.  Their website painted a VERY different picture than what they actually provide for treatment.  During the 39 days my son was there, he was incorrectly diagnosed and prescribed antidepressants (we now know he has bipolar disorder), witnessed his peers being put into a restraining room, and watched one peer get punched in the stomach while being held by the other staff members.  This all happened to THAT boy because he picked up a radio that belonged to a staff member!  The staff kept us (the parents) in the dark about the kind  of facility Red Rock was.  When I finally got the parent handbook (at about a month after our son was admitted), our suspicions became increasingly strong.  Finally, we decided to pull our son out.  The day that happened, the enrollment counselor called me back and argued with unbridled enthusiasm about the mistake we were making.  Long story short, when my husband arrived at the facility to retrieve our son, our son was SO glad to see him.  All the way back to our home state, our son told my husband about the kinds of things that happened in that facility.  We feel completely taken advantage of and angry that this happened to our boy.  

I have complained to Red Rock, complained to the Better Business Bureau, complained to the licensing bureau responsible for Red Rock, and now have complained AGAIN to the BBB.  Why are there no protections in place for families in crisis?  I was told that Red Rock should NOT have accepted our son into their facility, but was also told that the enrollment personnel likely get a commission and so, will tell you anything to get kids in.  It's a CRIME what they do to our kids and families.  Contracts are signed that are extremely unfair to the families (but what choice do we have when we think it's the contract OR the death of our child?), the facts are misrepresented, and the big companies have more money than the families so can fight all day long.  Where is the justice???  Where is the love for our children?  How can we undo what we did?  By helping other parents make INFORMED choices about how to help their kids!!  

Any other suggestions?  I am committed to fight this battle all the way to the point of real change to benefit our kids!
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: Deprogrammed on July 09, 2010, 11:59:23 PM
Kadforcn,
I don't know whow long ago that all happened but ye can sue that program possibly. Especially if your son was a witness to child abuse. I would encourage you to contact an attorney asap!
-Dp
Title: Re: Program Parents: Types and Psyches
Post by: Ursus on July 10, 2010, 01:11:02 AM
Quote from: "kadforacn"
I was a parent merely looking for help for my suicidal son.  I had tried a psychiatrist, a counselor, and a school counselor and all had failed him.  My son admitted feeling suicidal again, so I phoned the counselor he had seen, who recommended Red Rock.  When I called Red Rock, fearful and sleep deprived (for MONTHS), I was promised that this facility was the answer to our prayers.  Their website painted a VERY different picture than what they actually provide for treatment.  During the 39 days my son was there, he was incorrectly diagnosed and prescribed antidepressants (we now know he has bipolar disorder), witnessed his peers being put into a restraining room, and watched one peer get punched in the stomach while being held by the other staff members.  This all happened to THAT boy because he picked up a radio that belonged to a staff member!  The staff kept us (the parents) in the dark about the kind  of facility Red Rock was.  When I finally got the parent handbook (at about a month after our son was admitted), our suspicions became increasingly strong.  Finally, we decided to pull our son out.  The day that happened, the enrollment counselor called me back and argued with unbridled enthusiasm about the mistake we were making.  Long story short, when my husband arrived at the facility to retrieve our son, our son was SO glad to see him.  All the way back to our home state, our son told my husband about the kinds of things that happened in that facility.  We feel completely taken advantage of and angry that this happened to our boy.  

I have complained to Red Rock, complained to the Better Business Bureau, complained to the licensing bureau responsible for Red Rock, and now have complained AGAIN to the BBB.  Why are there no protections in place for families in crisis?  I was told that Red Rock should NOT have accepted our son into their facility, but was also told that the enrollment personnel likely get a commission and so, will tell you anything to get kids in.  It's a CRIME what they do to our kids and families.  Contracts are signed that are extremely unfair to the families (but what choice do we have when we think it's the contract OR the death of our child?), the facts are misrepresented, and the big companies have more money than the families so can fight all day long.  Where is the justice???  Where is the love for our children?  How can we undo what we did?  By helping other parents make INFORMED choices about how to help their kids!!  

Any other suggestions?  I am committed to fight this battle all the way to the point of real change to benefit our kids!
kadforacn, would this place be Red Rock Canyon School, or Red Rock Academy, or some other Red Rock that I haven't heard about yet?

If Red Rock Canyon School (http://www.redrockcanyonschool.com/ (http://www.redrockcanyonschool.com/)), see also:


If Red Rock Academy (St. George, Utah; outta binnis ~11/2002), see: