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Messages - Stripe

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The Seed Discussion Forum / successfull seed graduates
« on: December 09, 2004, 11:59:00 AM »
I forgot to log in as well. That's me just above.

The Seed Discussion Forum / successfull seed graduates
« on: December 08, 2004, 06:00:00 PM »
I take it the jury or sentencing judge did not put much weight on the tesitmony quoted here.  Having assisted in the defense of more than one first degree murder case I can say that it's a terrible thing for everyone.  Tragic for the victim and family, tragic for the defendant and family.  Tragic for the persons who have to prosecute and defend.  Even more tragic when persons who have been victims themselves become the perpetrators.  Even more tragic still when things that are suposed to help people only end up making the situation so much worse.

My heart hurts for these folks.  But logic tells me that most of them actually did what they are accused of doing. What hurts is that so many of them have been so stripped of personal value and so morally degraded that they attach no value at all to their life or the lives of other people.  when that is the case, it just appears to us who are on the outside, that it was easy for them to kill.  Or, in some cases, they fight back with such overwhleming ferocity (sp?) that they lose control and kill by accident - or even worse, they over-kill on purpose. Odd concept, but it happens.  

Maybe some of you reading this might remember going to some place in your mind, escaping to a place where that wasn't filled with the negative Seed.  I gues we who were able to do that kind og escaping/traveling are the  lucky ones.  I've said it here before: No one is inherenetly bad and I really belive that - even guys like this.  something happened.  

I've had to "shut down" to make it through some expericences - especially later in my life when I was the victim in a physically, ect. abusive marriage.  It was only then, at that moment when I choose to walk away because some small inner voice told me that I had no ability to eract in-kind that I became afraid of what I could do.  nd - onlells you you can't react in kind - That's when I realized how close I'd been to crossing that line - how just one more little push could have made the difference.    

My professional work has helped move me away from that, but reading just this one excerpt brings it all back. Very chilling.  

Maybe based on my experiences I could be claimed as a Seed success, but I don't believe I'll allow them to take credit.  Afterall, if it wasn't for all of the stripping away expereiced in the program, I might have had enough of a sense of self to have made other choices in my life.  Any way, thanks be to the good powers in the world for sparing me and my baby from all that could have been.
Thanks, too Greg, for the oppotunity to tell my "success" story.  I didn't kill someone.      


The Seed Discussion Forum / Cults and Conspiracies
« on: December 07, 2004, 09:50:00 AM »

That's it - that's a very sharp observation.    Having the power over my life removed - that's the abuse, among other things.
The reason it's so abusive is because when the power over the control of one's life is taken, so is the power to perceive that stripping away.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Cults and Conspiracies
« on: December 06, 2004, 05:17:00 PM »
"A produce" very telling.  what I meant was a product.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Cults and Conspiracies
« on: December 06, 2004, 05:16:00 PM »
Why is is that people who don't think they were brain washed, abused or otherwise mistreated, sing the praises of these kinds of programs ? :eek:
That's my observation on this so far.  

Once a person actually considers the very real possiblity that these things occurred and that as Seedlings we were subjected to some very awuful things - suddenly, the Seed doesn't look so wholesome any more.  Maybe my old high school friends weren't so far off base when they referred to me as a zombie.

It's never easy to see our lives for what they really are, ever.  That's the beauty of denial: it's not just about drugs, or booze or sex or food. Maybe that's why I never thought to tell all those therapists I've been to over the past 20 years years that I was a produce of the The Seed .... Anyway, it's good to be out in the open and consider all the possibilites.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Blindfolds???
« on: November 18, 2004, 03:39:00 PM »
I was blindfolded from on the trips to/from the Seed to the host house. They didn't tie it really tight so I know where I was  - I could see by looking down the psace beteen the cloth and my nose.  the house was in Tamarac, FL  close to the Ford Dealerhsip where my parents bought a Ford Maverick a couple of years before.  Now I remember, it was in the Tam O'Shanter village.. and some Staff member who drove a saucy blue camaro with those silver hubcaps named Debbie was the older sister of the house.  Her younger sister was the person who had me under lock and key...I forgot about that blindfold bullshit.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Anniversaries
« on: November 18, 2004, 10:39:00 AM »
I'm with you on this.  I do know the going-in date but not the getting free date.  What's really better than any of those dates though, is the date I figured out the connection between what my life has been like for the last 30 years and the where and when the program seed was planted in my brain.  Now that's a date to remember...Thanks to all of you for making that connection possible.

The Seed Discussion Forum / Anniversaries
« on: November 18, 2004, 10:38:00 AM »
I'm with you on this.  I do know the going-in date but not the getting free date.  What's really better than any of those dates though, is the date I figured out the connection between what my life has been like for the last 30 years and where and when the program seed was planted in my brain.  Now that's a date to remember...Thanks to all of you for making that connection possible.

The Seed Discussion Forum / The Dinner Party
« on: November 18, 2004, 10:16:00 AM »
I'm not trying to be wise, but is this Inner Circle a higher level of Amway?  It sounds like a pyramid set up to me, the uppers benefitting from the toil (be it emotional or financial) of the lowers.  Where does this originate, is it a "faith-based" ?  

We already have the power and insight, there is no need to go outside of our own selves for vaildation. All of the questioning, inner turmoil and inner conflict are not proof of any inherent weakness or lack of value.  Instead, I'm more and more conviced, as I read everyone's postings on this forum, that those who question really are the true "circle"  You can lose your money, your home, your possessions, your family (although that is a painful loss) and still, in this circle, you are accepted and allowed to be.  Not shunned, not denounced, not excluded.  Now that, my friends, is the utopia dinner table I want to sit at.  Any body care to join me?

The Seed Discussion Forum / to Anon with Law Degree
« on: November 18, 2004, 09:51:00 AM »
Those os you reading this subject may think Billy is off, wrong, weird or just out there.  But guess what, he's not.  It's tough to admit youv'e been fooled, used and programmed.  That's why it's clled programming...

I too remember these people.  Saw that Dana/Link- look alike up at FSU in the student union hanging out. His physical presence brought that terror to my gut.  If you can't believe the history, you have to believe what your body tells you.  IT's that fight or flight instinct that kicks in when and animal is threated.

Billy, I'm with you all the way, brother.  Thanks so much for the structure information.  GregFL has put some stuff up on other discussion threads that fits right in with the whole programming.  

Itis my belief that those seedlings among us who are so resistent to the idea that perhaps Art & Seed did not have our bests intersts at heart need only think back ...we were told, among other things...we were an army. Encourged to think alike, tlak alike, dress alike and preserve the whole "us against them" mindset  Whassup with that?  If that mind control, what the fuck was it?????

Elan School / tamar is a cunt
« on: November 15, 2004, 05:37:00 PM »
I take it the cunt-bashers have not evolved.  Leaving you to you aand yours...

The Seed Discussion Forum / Anniversaries
« on: November 12, 2004, 06:02:00 PM »
Well, there are other momentous occassions that I guess I would rather remember.  Isn't it funny though, that these dates are so etched in our minds?  I wonder - what do you suppose the significane is of not being able to remember the date they let me go? Is is that deep or just that unimportant? :question:

It's a hard thing, what we are all trying to do.  Reconcile what we learned, for those who believe it was a positive experience - or were programmed with, for those who see the experience as less than positive ...Reconclie what we learned with our lives as we have lived them up to this point.  

I'm still tyring to understand the effect of those teachings on my choices. But I do know, without a doubt, I was never a worthless person - none of us were, no matter what a person did before they were sent through that door. And for sure, no one is worthless now. No soul that has ever existed is a worthless piece of shit, no matter what they did to themselves or someone else.    "Worthless, gonna die, never amount to anything ..." The common mantras for those who were strong and could resist or perhaps were hesitant to fully embrace the teachinhgs or comply.  Who wouldn't have problems from all tis?

Certainly I have friends I made there who, without it, their lives might have been worse. However, you can only have so much continous conflict, failure, insecureity or uncertainty before you have stop and look for the absolute root cause.  There are no inherently defective souls.

I think my life was worse because of what happened to me when I was there.  But I know each one of us struggles with this.  I surely don't know the answer.  I wish I could be normal and not have to bend my mind around these things now. But I do know I don't want the next thirty years to be like the last thiry years.  So, if I'm grateful for anything today, its to know that I'm not alone in this journey.  It doesn't matter to me what side of the issue a person is on, the fact is, it's a journey.

Maybe for folks who didn't have families, the positive aspects of honesty (not mantra but real honesty) and commitment helped them  to have what their parents and families couldn't give them.  I hope so.

But stil, there's that sense of sadness that seems to permiate my life - even in the face of my many successes.  

I guess in the end, Jimmy, you are not alone at all. Not alone at all.

The Seed Discussion Forum / The Three Signs
« on: November 12, 2004, 11:33:00 AM »
I have a couple of signs for The Seed, but there's no icons that match my hands...

The Seed Discussion Forum / to Anon with Law Degree
« on: November 11, 2004, 04:46:00 PM »
How is it that people I know, who sat right there with me, got "come down on" suffered that same rejection, etc.,  can't see the effects of this place in their lives today?

For lack of a better term, I was "outted" as a Seedling by one of my business associates - and I never ever told anyone I was in that place. Ever. I mean, after 30 years, if someone who was on the outside can look at you, listen to what you are describing as a general experience, and  ask, "Did you go to the Seed?" then there must have been some stronger programming or hold on me that I ever realized.

If it's that obvious even after all this time, how is it that my other seed friends,  whom I truly count as friends, just don't get it?  Lives have been so screwed up by that place and its passing on to yet another generation of children being programmed. Maybe its a different program name , but the end result is still the same...and yet they still continue to deny what happened to them.

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