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Messages - MG

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1
The Seed Discussion Forum / FEAR ITSELF
« on: May 31, 2005, 03:51:00 PM »
ALWAYS FOLLOW THE MONEY
IT TELLS THE STORY BETTER THAN ANYTHING!
GREAT POINT.

Bye the way I knew John when he was just a sweet inoccent guy excited to be reuinted with his freinds and Cindy was just a bubbly little huggy bear.

WHAT A CRYING SHAME!
Capatolistic freeked out cult organizers.  Who would have ever guessed.  Thank's ART!  Beautiful lively souls for capitol gains.  Congrats you evil ass piece of garbage.  They are culpable now though, being ADULTS?

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The Seed Discussion Forum / FEAR ITSELF
« on: May 31, 2005, 03:43:00 PM »
Hi there again.........
I actually do not blame myself at all for what happened to me there.  You shouldn't either.  I have a grown son and have spent a lot of time around children that were the age we were.  They are so completely impressionable.  
Why do you think the SEED had an age limit?  I believe it was twenty-one with only a few exceptions. I spent Memorial Day taking some photos of a park near me that is a true hazard to children and many of the children playing were about our age.  There are drug dealers nearby---blocks away, a year or two older than them.  They will either be productive citizens, or drug dealers/addicts these children.  They are like an open slate. Art and these other organizations took, and are taking that open slate and making it thier living. Is a child that is molested responsible for the choices that the molester seduces or forces them into making?  I don't think so!  Definitely not by our laws.....so why is the RAPE of a childs mind acceptable, and how would that child ever be culpable?  Hitler turned out youth groups in droves, and turned children against thier own families.  Look on eBay at the prices for coveted photos of such!  What is so damn different to turn out an army of children to wear your flag to school and march blindly to your tune?  He admidately used the children to help campaign for congress. I remember ART saying about Hitler's Military Youth that, "They took young people and played drums and they marched blindly, and did what they are told."  What was so different?  Let's all sing along.............THE SEED INDEED IS ALL YOU NEED TO STAY OF THE JUNK AND THE PILLS AND THE WEED.  WE COME EACH DAY FROM 10 TILL 10, AND THEN WE GET UP AND WE DO IT AGAIN.
You were never to blame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Seed Discussion Forum / FEAR ITSELF
« on: May 28, 2005, 09:05:00 AM »
Hey Ginger,
I did the same in that I had his child.  He was never a father to him and I raised him alone with no support although he was from a wealthy family.  What you said about him being aware of what he was doing to me.........I asked him why don't you ever kiss me or touch me from the day we are married.  His reply was, "If I had acted like this before would you have married me?"  I said, "No". He said, "Well there, you have your answer."  He intended to procure himself a slave and thought once I was pregnant I was a prisoner for life.  Thank You, that I reverted back to my stronger self from the hardships I went through as a kid, and he provided me with the very excuse I needed.  I think I had a very strong need to "take care of someone" to give me purpose and he was perfect...like I was his mother.  It was beyond a nurturing quality of a woman, to a houskeeper/slave. Not only the way I grew up but being given the HONOR of cleaning the SEEDS toilets, ect. all those years............great training for self esteem...........hahaha I still get accused of being "Mother Mary/Mother Goose", which I like but it is much different today-----------I think.  From all you put in here and on this whole site I suspect you are much the same, but at least the dedication today is for something constructive and not some trained robotic response for exploitation by the rich!  The church needs a new Mercedes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The preacher need a new Yacht.......donate to my favorite cause ME!  That is how I view Art and Libby...........phony whore mongers.
At least we got the kid:)

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The Seed Discussion Forum / FEAR ITSELF
« on: May 27, 2005, 07:52:00 PM »
I don't actually expect an apology. What a joke to think someone like that would be capable of such.  I just hope She hears me, or of it.  I would love a frigin explanation that's for sure. Even if anonymous.  You may be right also about the control thing.  I had started to not just drive straight to the seed after work but would drive around in my car a little for a minute to myself......doing absolutely nothing.  Maybe an extra twenty minutes. So they took the car away. I think the one thing I did was play with myself.....LOL.  You are very right about the sexuality thing.  Where the hell were all those teenage hormones supposed to go?  No interaction with the opposite sex really. Helped me a lot in life........yeah right!!!!!!!  I married the third asshole I met and then serviced his cars, wrote his letters, washed his clothes, cleaned his house, made his meals, worked full time managing an office and came home and gave him every dime I made becasue, "we were saving for our future".  Thank God the same way the seed threw me out with no explanation I caught him cheating and got out.  This is a man who never touched me from the DAY we were married and I would have stayed and did for one year like that....a slave.  Just like the Seed, and someone sit there and tell me that had NOTHING to do with the brainwashing the SEED did to me????????  I left the SEED at 20, was with the guy by 21 and married by 22.  I was a virgin that lived in a bubble. A total sitting duck.  The same as you here I had nothing in my life.  NO FRIENDS at all.  My childhood friend refused to ever speak to me again for what I had done to her.  We grew up living next door to each other and then I refused to ever speak to her again and she never forgave me. I understand many seedlings married each other.......isn't this kind of like inbreeding???  I have had to deal with a lot of drug addicts in the area I am living in.  I don't tell them, piss off I love you.  That and the shirt and the pin was nothing but advertising for the seed.  Maybe I would not have had the strength to hang around with people like that and not be influenced but isn't that what they should have been teaching.  You can't hide under a rock in life. I treat everyone exactely the same.  I am no God to judge who is good enough to deserve my respect as a human being and say they are shit because they have a problem. It went like this...."I don't want to have anything to do with you unless you go to the SEED and get straight. I love you"  Not, I would like to be your friend but really can't associate with you when you choose to lead the life you do.  Please find some kind of help for yourself or put your life on the right path becasue you are worth it"  NO let's put EVERYONE in the SEED........more MONEY FOR ART!  And if you care so much then why not sell the YACHT AND THE LIMO AND HELP SOME KIDS THAT HAVE NO SCHOOL CLOTHING, WHICH I SEE EVERY DAY.  MY POOR MOTHER, VERY POOR AT THE TIME, RAISING FIVE KIDS ON HER OWN PAID FROM A REAL ESTATE DEAL $4,000 FOR ME AND $3,500 FOR MY BROTHER--SECOND KID DISCOUNT.  Art Barker was busy out golfing.  He never really sat down and talked to any of us and asked, so what are your goals, your dreams????  He was out golfing and dining, and boating, and was rarely ever there.  Also I was no sucsess story either.  I went through years from 21 to maybe 30 where I did my share of playing with C.
Let them play with the dogs.  That is better suited to them.  Now they have something to control that won't think for itself.  Aslo, if you think there is not a lot of money and government funds in what they are doing now think again.  How many links do they have to donate?  Oh, and the free sandwiches for everyone thing really cracks me up!  I guess they haven't lost their touch on getting the rest of the world to pay their way.

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The Seed Discussion Forum / FEAR ITSELF
« on: May 27, 2005, 11:37:00 AM »
I found and contacted, or rather wrote an e-mail to, which received no response thus far.   Ha, imagine that?  They were cowards then to say ANYTHING to my face and they are still apparently the same cowards all these years later. Mr. Cleveland had the right idea sneaking out in the middle of the night.  What do they ever say to you?  So what the F would you say to them.  Well, I want to say it Decades later.  Hey, Terri Meyers kiss my royal ass you self centered arrogant Biatch.  You know you were maybe ten years older than me.  Give me those ten years and I would have been running circles around your head and would have laughed at your intimidation tactics.  You acted so damn tough and you thought you were funny.  Funny?  I did too, till I got to know you!  An ass YOU ARE.  You still remain in my mind as one of the most stuck up $&%&% I ever new, you and your little dog too.  You know who I mean. You used a girl as your lap dog, and she used to slather on your face.  KISSING you over and over and hugging you, and literally sitting in your lap, even when you were driving AND YOU LOVED IT!  In my later years I wondered if some of the girls were gay and it just went over my head????????????  I know you had something to do with my leaving and since you don't want to bother to write me back like the Peon you treated me like when I was there. I will stuff it up your ass here if I can.  I hope you get this message!  I have a child now that is older than what I was when you did what you did to me.  You called yourself, "wanting to help people," and got paid for it?  At least I was sincere in practicing what I said, ............YOU never spoke to me or even asked me how I was, or tried to include me.......EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.  YOU got your rocks off acting like you were better and I was invisible.  Were you jealous of me in some way?  Could you not stand having someone watch the truth every day?  I couldn't have cared less about anything but you staffers liking me you had me so f'ing brainwashed......that and my work, and you made sure you took that from me didn't you biatch.  I was climbing the ladder very quickly in that company because I was smart and I worked hard.  You made sure you and your dumb girlfriend got rid of me didn't you.  You treated the NEWCOMER like rat shit.  YOU NEVER EVER SPOKE TO HER EITHER.  THE TWO OF YOU NEVER SPOKE TO EITHER OF US IN THE CAR ON THE WAY TO WORK OR HOME 20-30 MINUTES EACH WAY!!!!  I USED TO FEEL LIKE I WOULD SHRIVEL UP AND DIE, AND BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TALK TO HER OR ME SHE WOULDN'T TALK TO ME EITHER.  IT WAS LIKE BEING A HORRIBLE PRISONER.  WHAT KIND OF GOOD INFLUENCE WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?  WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GO SOMEWHERE AND LICK EACH OTHER? YOU AND LeANN.  DID YOU GO AND BLAME ME FOR LOOSING THE NEWCOMER JUST BACK TO WORK, HUGH YOU SORRY BITCHES?  WHY DID LIBBY AND ART KEEP SAYING WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE UP TO?  THEY HAD NO PART OF MY LIFE.  I TOTALLY BLAME THEM TOO.  FOR ALL THOSE YEARS OF TOTAL DEDICATION NOT ONCE WAS I EVEN TOLD WHAT I WAS BEING ACCUSED OF.  YOU ARE SICK STEPFORD CHILDREN AND YOU OWE ME A FUCKING APOLOGY IF YOU ARE LISTENING.  YOU ARE SO TOUGH AND BAD ASS SO WHERE ARE YOU'RE BALLS NOW?  FACE A WOMAN AND NOT A CHILD. IF THE SEARCH ENGINE HERE IS CORRECT THEN THERE ARE A LOT OF GUTLESS WONDERS WATCHING BUT NO ONE IS POSTING.  FDR:" THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF".  IF YOU SIT QUIETLY IN MY OPINION YOU ARE JUST AS DAMN GUILTY....."OH NOT ME, I WON'T SAY ANYTHING. WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ..................ME?" ...MEMEMEMEEMEM ............ WELL THEN YOU DESERVED WHAT YOU GOT.  NOT--------NO ONE DESERVES THAT, BUT YOU CAN'T JUST SIT BACK IN FEAR A PRODUCT OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT.  PEOPLE CAN ONLY DO TO YOU MOSTLY WHAT YOU LET THEM GET AWAY WITH, AND IF YOU SIT THERE SAYING, "OH THAT'S SO TERRIBLE,"  WHILE THEY DO IT TO THE NEXT GROUP OF KIDS AND SAY .........NOTHING...........THEN ROT IN HELL WITH THE REST OF THEM BECAUSE YOU KNOW, AND YOU ARE JUST AS DAMN BAD THEN FOR LETTING THEM GET AWAY WITH IT.
THERE ARE LAWS FOR ACCOMPLICES TO CRIMES WHY SHOULD YOU, OR WOULD YOU THINK IT DOES NOT APPLY TO THIS TOO?
I READ SOME SITES HERE IN THIS LAST WEEK SINCE I FOUND THIS AND, I AM APPALLED AT THE INHUMANITY TOWARD CHILDREN IN SOME OF THESE PLACES. FUCK THE SEED AND MY SLIGHTS..... HA.......... SLIGHTS...........HA........ HAHAHA
O.K. SO I AM TRYING TO MAKE A LIVING TOO AND HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS BUT IF I CAN FIND TEN FIFTEEN MINUTES IN MY DAY TO DO IT SO CAN YOU AND GET UP AND AT LEAST SAY SAY SAY SAY -SOMETHING.................... CAUSE YOU AINT DOIN' SHIT.  I DIDN'T KNOW REALLY TILL THIS WEEK AND IN CASE YOU THINK I AM BLOWING SMOKE OUT OF MY ASS I HAVE A LITTLE PICTURE PLAQUE OF ME IN THIS TOWN FOR MAKING A DIFFERENCE, AND IT WAS FOR HELPING KIDS AND PEOPLE IN NEED AND I DIDN'T MESS WITH THEIR HEADS I GAVE THEM THINGS TO MAKE THEIR LIVES A LITTLE BETTER FOR A SECOND........SO WHY IS EVERYONE LOOKING AND NOT SAYING SHIT??????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????
P.S.SUCCESS STORY MY ASS.  I HAD NO DRUG PROBLEM WHEN I WENT THERE EXCEPT A LITTLE WEED!!!!!!!!!!!  I WENT THROUGH MANY YEARS OF TOTAL HELL TO BE IN THE PLACE I AM IN TODAY....IF ANYTHING, THE SEED PUT ME IN A BUBBLE THAT COST ME A LOT OF PAIN IN LIFE.
I AM GOING TO SAY WHAT I THINK AND THEY CAN JUST BRING IT ON.
WHERE ARE ALL THE LOOKERS?  I KNOW THERE AREN'T THREE PEOPLE ON THIS SITE.?

OH YEAH, AND UP YOURS TERRY MEYERS

WHO ARE YOU? IN A CAREER TO "HELP PEOPLE"  DON'T LOOK BACK AT THE PEOPLE YOU BETRAYED!
LOVE,
MARY

_________________

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The Seed Discussion Forum / THIS MADE ME PHYSICALLY SICK
« on: May 23, 2005, 02:18:00 AM »
I would have to agree with that.  It is just like how Hilary Clinton goes to visit a city in New York that has the 2nd highest crime rate in the country, and acts like she is doing some sort of favor. It is the dumping ground for paroles, rapists, and welfare recipients for the whole state.  Polititions are buying up all the properties and "fixing it up".  Property values have more than doubled already in two years. Gentrification is what it is called.  I love how these grimmy polititions line their pockets in the guise of helping people.

I have a friend who attended Daytop here in new York that was only eighteen and weighed 280lbs then, now weighing 325lbs.  They made him dress up like a baby and stand up in a corner all day and many other things.

These places are FFFFFFFFFF'DDDDD
Look at the one where they physically killed two children, tortured them to death and it took the second for them to even be brought up on charges!
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR

I am going to send that link to everyone I know!

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The sewing joke.....that is really not funny!  I resemble that comment.  We were really poor growing up and I sewed most all my own clothing and I even took the blue ribbon in a fair against old ladies for a reversable suit I made.  I made Art a totally hand embroidered and quilted pillow, which is a lot lot lot of work!  Resented that pillow all these years...LOL  Now I say if you tell anyone I can sew I will have to kill you.  Those jokes if they were made were sure not made to our faces!  As dedicated as I was I don't think anyone would have gotten a pillow out of me had I heard it!

8
Hi,
I will check out all those links, and thank you.  I don't even know who those people are.  I was unaware even of Straight, which apparantely started before I left the seed in 81'.  The answer Wally's question about me being called on.  Sometimes I got called on a lot and other times it felt like I was in the doghouse........which would make you go look in the mirror a lot, in your own eyes, and chew yourself out, and wonder what the fuck was wrong with you?????  Anyone else?  The whole "your eyes are the mirror to your soul".  I remember getting one inch from the mirror and looking in there like I would see something amazing floating by that would give me the answer to it.  all.......... :rofl: Other times working so hard full time and then swimming like a fish and playing tennis, running with everyone, then cleaning for them on the weekend too.  I was exausted and could barely keep my eyes open sitting there not even having had dinner yet.
Mary

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The Seed Discussion Forum / Hello?
« on: May 22, 2005, 04:18:00 PM »
Children's Gulags
http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-gulags.html
Sorry for what happened in all of them, but especially the babies that are hurt, and what followed from this whole concept.

11
Please translate that for me...I am too new here.  Where, or what is Whittmore and ????????
E-mail if I'm too not there to get code please?  Somewhere I wrote also about Art and the Playboy Club.  Tell me he didn't alway's say that he worked at the Playboy Club in New York and that he had his boat docked there and would come in to work and that that is where he met Shelly.  That is the Ohio story I remember.

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Hello, I checked out your link/site Ginger.  You had some things I searched on the web and that takes a lot of work! I see you all over other groups trying to be supportive.  It is nice that you care like that.  You are welcome to contact me any time like you offered.

To greg, It's good you found someone that remembers and validates your recolection but truly to all of them.  Who gives a rat's ass what they think?  They based most of the program on you questioning your realities and living by thiers.  even if it was a total fantasy of yours.  It would be most likely deserved.  I would make a very bad witness in court but, the pool was adjacent to the tennis courts so if you were in the pool looking at the tennis court would it have been on the right side or left of the pool this happened?  This is a quiz. LOL  Not funny I'm sure but I have a pretty great memory.  What bothers me and my only blank is who drove me to the airport?  I can not seem to dig my memory bank up on that one.  I would love it if there was anyone out there for me that would know why they dissmissed me like that.  It will most likely always bug me when I do recall them.  At Christmas it is hard not to hear the chants in the music....STILL!!  I looked at this site tonight and want to send all my sympathy to those who got an even worse version it seems at STRAIGHT.  It breaks my heart. All the other holes too.  They are hurting the babies :scared:

13
Does anyone remember my brother.  He ran away from the seed in Ohio.  I had him put in really because the staff asked a lot of questions and I told them he smoked pot.  I think he smoked one joint with me and a friend and I put him up to it.  They got more money out of my mother.  My mother confided in a Realtor friend at work because I had run away and she told her of the seed.  Their family was very involved with the seed and I think it was a matter of having to do it that lead her to do it.  How could you not get help for your kids?  When my brother split she let him stay out.  I was paid up for. To this day he hates the seed and always acted like something terrible was done to him.  He hated having a freak for a sister. SEEDLING....SEED SUCKS........I LOVE YOU.....MOONIE  We were very, very close and never really have been again like we were.
If anyone wants to mail me you can do that at
mgg1975@aol.com I am happy to have found this and grateful for it.  The afformation this has brought me these past few days is uncharted.  I almost never speak of it but over the years have told a few that my mother commited me to a place that brainwashed me when I was fourteen.  I talk about my gymnastics scholarship I got down there when I talk of living in florida and don't say out of shame I followed them there like a ZOMBIE.  It's great to know I'm not alone.  I wanted sometimes to try to look people up but didn't know where there heads would be at and I am after all an outcast.
Thank you for having this site....whoever did it!
Oh, and Love,
Mg

14
Hi I'm sorry this took so long but I wrote my explanation, if that is possible, the other night and apparantly it was somehow lost.  
They threw me out with NO explanation except, "We know what you are up to".  I had been living with Nona Zambone and Patty Healy and a bunch of other girls and we had all become pretty close.  Patty was in Real Estate and I used to ride along with her on listings.  She gave me her vintage red corvet on a payment basis, as she was going to college and needed the money.  I had been working at Safecard Services with a lot of other "seedlings".  I was promoted there several times(3)I was pretty good with the computer system there.  The IBM text editor, a true dinnasor! The Seed heard about the car and whatever their problem was they yelled at me saying what are you trying to pull and made me give it back to Patty.  I felt really bad about that one becasue I had not an ill intention in my bone.  She was selling it and I wanted to buy it.  So then they also said becasue of cliquing up or whatever that I had to also leave the apartment and move to a different apartment where I lived with Laura Perchapski, and LeAnn. I think Terry Meyers lived there becasue she was always there!  Then the seed forced me to take my car off the road.  A Ford Grand Torino, and ride to work with Terry and LeAnn.  The two of them would laugh and giggle and sit nearly on top of each other the whole way to work every day really never speaking to me like I was shit.  When I did talk it would be like....oh..and then back to their own world.  A newcomer went back to work and that meant working at safecard also.  She rode with us and they treated her pretty much the same.  I don't remember the name of the girl but I think Donna perhaps?  She was only at the Seed a few months.  She was very very quiet, withdrawn and uncomfortable in her own skin it seemed but now so was I.  The two of us would just sit in the back set prety much looking at our shoes miserable.  She didn't want to talk to me either.....so.  LeAnn worked in the Art Department and they asked me to train her on the computer. I tried but after one whole week she could still not even sign on. I don't htink she wanted to do it or she was just screwing with me.  It was very frustrating. Her boss asked why she hadn't learned it and I told him that I didn't know but was trying very hard to teach her but she didn't seem to grasp it. He asked me if I would stay late one day and help with a project on the computer and I called to ask permission at home becasue he would have to drive me home. They said NO. That next day I found out the newcomer ran away. I was called into the back office.  Libby was there.  Art, Cookie, Shelly, and I think someone else.  At the time I believe it was Ginger, Evy, Patty, Nona, and Guys.  Libby started to scream in my face at the top of her lungs, "what the fuck to you think your doing?  We know what you are up to.  Tell the f'ing truth.  We know what you did. What the F are you trying to pull?  Ect., on and on for maybe an hour.  I kept telling her I didn't know what she was talking about.  I was in total shock and I wanted to die.  Couldn't even cry just felt like I was shriveling up inside.  I had NO IDEA what she was talking about.  She told me that I had a couple of days to get rid of my car, pack my bags, quit my job, and get a plane home.  I went back to the condo and nearly cried myself to death in my room alone becasue we used to share rooms but they put me in one by myself till I was gone.  I didn't even sleep and just couldn't stop crying for days and NOONE SAID A FUCKING WORD TO ME!  I got on the plane quietly, and who even took me to the airport is a total blur I was commatosed at that point.  I went back to Ohio and bought a real heap for $50.00 and stayed with my Mom for two days who after attacking my brother came into my room and tried punching me in the face.  I put my shit back in a box and lived in my car in a rest area. Broke, no job, no home.  I was sleeping in the car nearly a week when a girl in Ohio from the seed let me stay on her couch.  I got work and my own apartment and lived happily fringin after...lol  What did they think I was doing?  Losing my virginity to LeAnn's boss, aiding a seed escape, trying to get LeAnn's job.  I have no clue but I wasn't capable of any of those.  I was highly loyal and the only seed person I ever disliked was LeAnn why would I want to be in an apartment with her, ride to work and home with her, and then be in the same damn department with her!  The guy was old to me then and I was a virgin.  Why would I help someone leave the place I had no plan of EVER LEAVING.  She had become invisible to me anyway like she wanted.  Let's all pretend we don't exist while Terry and LeAnn kiss each other to death and treat us like shit!!  Stuck up Biatches they were to us.  Art just stood there all cold and glazed  glaring at me hatefully.  I was devastated and heartbroken..............THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!Maybe they wanted to downsize only to the longest of slaves and tried to make me miserable enough to leave and that didn't work so they just threw me out.  That's the non-explanation---explanation I have.  I would love to know why they threw me away like garbage without one when I loved them all so much.  Amazing.....it still hurts, and you know I gave seven years of my life to the place.

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The Seed Discussion Forum / Anybody remember the Rules?
« on: May 21, 2005, 07:30:00 PM »
no cliqueing up

no hanging out

we do a consious and thorough daily moral inventory of ourselves

no old ties

no cut offs, jeans, sneakers, or tee shirts.( oh wait that one is from the bars)  :smokin:  LOL

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