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« on: May 14, 2011, 11:02:02 AM »
Hi I am Gwenlee Chapman. I was at Rebekah Girls Home In Corpus from Oct. 1969 to Nov. 1972. I do searches for Adoptee's and Birth Moms. I ran across this site and spent alot of time reading thru the post. It amazes me how so many have different thoughts and feeling about their experiences there. I felt lead to give some input on the subject also.
I was put there by a Judge because I stole a car and ran away from home and ended up 2 States away. Have no idea why I did not tell the Judge I ran because my mother's boyfriends were molesting us while she was still married to our dad. Maybe cause I was 14 and had called the police to bust her at the boyfriends house and when he asked my dad if he wanted to press charges and said no the officer said sorry little girl there is nothing I can do. I did not tell the officer about being molested just that mom had boyfriends. Guess I did not want her to get into real trouble just wanted the boyfriends to stop. I was sent for 6 months. When I first got there we went to Public School at Oso. That ended quickly maybe because I got caught kissing a boy at school. We then started school in the barn. As with any child I just wanted to have fun and play like most kids, but there were alot of rules and work involved in being there.Should kids have chores? Yes. Should kids learn some form of religion and what happens to us when we die? Yes. Do I believe in spankings? Yes .Was it good to learn to grow and kill your own food? Yes. With all this being said let me say that when people take on the responsibility to care for children be it their own or someone else's a person should have enormous amts of LOVE and Patience. Do I think they went overboard in what they did? Yes. Do I think they were appropriate in what they taught us? No. I was a mere 14 yr old girl trying to make sense of this world we live in. I became even more confused thinking I was saved then wondering if I really was, every single time I did something they thought was sinful. Which was just about everything.I can remember being at the altar and I guess Granny noticed somehow I got a hold of some bikini panties she saw the line it made went right down there and got me. Dragged me off whipped me and started in on how sinful I was. I have plenty of memories of the beatings I took but what is the point in telling them all. If I got it good for the above just know I got way worse for other things I did. Did I piss them off alot ? Yep I think so plenty of times. Just like my teenage kids have done to me. I kept thinking if I could just be Christian enough I could go home. So when I tried to really walk the line I got in trouble for being sacrilegious.I ran and went home. My mom said after awhile we were going to get my clothes. She stepped out of the office and Papa said I was staying I ran out and my mom had gone, just left me there. I guess she liked the fact she did not have to deal with trying to stop what she was doing. Anyway 6 months turned into 3 yrs. Do I remember good times? Yes, but let me tell you when a child has alot of bad going on and someone trying to control every thought and move you make which is so against anyone child or adult it does something to you. I lived pretty much like a zombie which is why I do not remember alot of life in those years. I think most of us are like that.It's a protection mode. So those of you who wonder what the deal is think of that.
As I read alot of the post I see how there are so many who still have such anger about the place. Let me tell you this they stole those years from us and I myself decided a long time ago they would not take any more of my life. Do I think I have issue about the place that effects me now even subconsciously? Yes. I am sure I do. Just as I am sure I have issues on the abandonment of my mom. Was it right for them to tell me over and over again I was going to be there forever that when I got to old for Rebekah I would go to Georgia then the old folks home in the Valley then be brought back at death to be buried at the Robstown Cemetery across the street? That was so wrong. I tried to kill myself.
Next I see alot have asked about all the things Roloff had and how did he get everything. Well ladies and gents lets face it those who could pay I am sure did contribute alot to the place for their kids to be held there. Us poor kids who did not have parents who gave a shit well we worked our buts off. Everything we grew and killed to eat. We had trips to the Valley to pick citrus fruit. We were taken to the Inter-coastal Canal to catch fish. I am sure what we did not keep we sold.Plus remember being bused around all over the US like so many performing acts to raised contributions. These are the things we were made to do in order to earn our keep. Did we go to school? Well I got there with an 8Th grade education and left with an 8Th grade education. So for me schooling was very poor there.We built our own dorms so they had plenty of free labor there. Did we get taken to the Dr's or Dentist when we were sick? No. Most people treat there animals better. Right? You have to remember they had millions coming in donations to help us poor wayward girls. So that's how they afforded all they have. Look at all the churches in the world and how extravagant they are. Same thing.
When the State started coming in I finally had my chance to get away. I had gotten close to a boy who came to stay the summer with the Weatherfords. I did not know at the time I was pregnant. Anyway I really started being bad. Broke windows too set off alarms, flooded the bath and laundry rooms, set fire to the living room couch. They had a hard time hiding me when the State was coming in so they called my mom. She had to come get me. Then I found out I was pregnant and when I got my tonsils out at Christmas my mom talk to Brother Roloff and they made plans to send me to Bethesda in MS. I got taken there in Jan of 1973 and finally got to go home after I sign some blank forms to adopt out my child. I had turned 18 in June and tried to run thinking I'm an adult now they can't stop me. Wrong they found me locked me up til my son was born in Aug.After 2 hrs of crying I signed the papers and they called my sister to come get me. I left in Sept 2 weeks later with no more idea how to live in this world then when I first arrived in Oct 1969 4yrs of my life gone. Can't change that.
Now I see everyone wants to know how you get over things like this. The beatings, the imprisonment, the riping of your child out of your heart Well one thing I did learn is what it is to be a real Christian. God forgave us and we forgive them. I am not saying you will ever forget but it is done and can't be changed so why let it consume you. Live your life learn to love, be fair and do not judge.
I would hate to think of all the judging someone could do to me on every issue of raising my children. Are we all the perfect parent say and do the right things at all times? No. Just do the best you can love God and do unto others as you would have done unto you. These are 2 of the most important commands our Father has given us.Along with this is do not Judge and forgive as you have been forgiven. The rest of the bible is just to bring us to be better Christians and witnesses for Him. Let me tell you He died one time for me, forgave me never to remember it again anything I have done or will do. We are not perfect and will never be until we leave here and go home. Should I lose my temper and cuss probably not. Should I get frustrated from no money and bills coming out my ears and take it out on my kids? No. Have I done that? Yes. Have I always made the right choices in love? No. Have I been divorced 3 times? Yes. The real question here is am I still a Christian? Yes. The only way God would ever turn his back on me is if I turn my back on him.So live your lives in the moment Love the Lord and try with all your might to do good to others God knows in your heart if you really are trying. Don't let others Judge you to the point it affects who you are. You and the Lord know that is all that counts.
Just remember he too knows what you have or will go thru. He was hated enough for them to kill him. He was abandoned by his Father at the cross also. He called out to his Father why have you forsaken me. Believe me he knows the pain of it all.Hold stead fast as this is why when it is our time to go he says, Yeah tho I walk thru the Valley of the shadow of death fear no evil for I am with thee. We will be happy to leave here and go home. How can life be wonderful all the time for us here? If it was we would never want to go home. Think of our kids we want them to leave the nest, go out on their own but if you give them everything their heart desires you will have that child in your home forever. Just think about some of these things. We all will answer for our life choices and for how well we witnessed for Him. Don't stoop to the Roloff levels and judge and condemn like they did us. It is not our place to do so.Will we ever be able to stop them or anyone else from doing harm to others on this earth? No. Look at the world. Make a stand when you can against injustice. Help and love those around you. Give encouragement to others. Tell your stories in love not hate to help others. As for me reading the post it brought me mostly sadness, not from remembering the pain I felt living in the homes but the pain I felt from you all that it still controls your lives to some point. Love you all. As I to know and remember those days.Gwen
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