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Messages - Deborah91

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Yep.. Those dreams will get to ya. (the isolation) It was worse than jail because you didn't know when you were getting out, if you could, if they liked you enough, if you could change everything about yourself to make it to level 6(hence "Fake it til' ya make it").. Something will come up and remind me of Darrington everyday and nobody gets it. It broke me down and didn't teach me what it intended to teach, but I did learn SO much and now I appreciate a hot shower, food, a quiet room to sleep in, privacy, respect, freedom to talk about my religion, friendships, and more to a new level. As far as what they WANTED me to learn; That was all trash.

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Btw, I'm not taking any sorts of medications now. There is nothing wrong with me. I just think Darrington Academy wanted to drug me up. -& the Depakote certainly wasn't monitored with me, as I told you my very bad side effects. I was taking it as early as 14 years old there; big 2 doses a day. I didn't even know what it was for until after I got out. When I was 16 or 17 a doctor took an ultrasound because I was having really bad pelvic pains. They said cysts were bursting and it was endometriosis. Another doctor told me recently that it was impossible for me to have endometriosis because I was so young, but if I have polycystic ovary syndrome then it says it can start as early as 12. & Depakote hormones could cause it? hmm

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Hey! Thank you so much for posting all of this information..
I went to Darrington Academy in 2004 when I was just 14 years old. I was there for 6 months & never made it past level 2.
I would compare this place next to hell.. I wouldn't know how to tell my story yet because I'm still trying to get past some things that happened there.. I have nightmares about that place. Every time its a different facility, staff, & people there, but its always the same trapped feeling. It was clearly unsuccessful because my real journey started AFTER I left the program. I had never been exposed to such horror before I went there. I was in 8th grade. I'm a Christian so they let me have my Bible, but NEVER talk about my religion or express it in any sort of way, and I deteriorated further from there.. When I was sick, I thought I really needed to go to the doctor but they would not let me since I didn't have those privileges. They separated me in the intervention room and all I ate for days was a small bowl of soup for each meal; as if I was going to gain health back with just soup... The doctor there had me start on a very high dose of Depakote several times a day also. I passed out several times on it, but no one seemed to care! I was shaking so bad and people had to help me walk to the next place we had to go, but still, the doctor would not take me off of the unnecessary medicine for days after my reaction. I was one of the smallest girls there and was one of the first to go on what they call "150%" for meals. I had told my mom I was really hungry there with eating strictly 3 times a day and that's it. Normally I would eat 6 small meals a day. I have a fast metabolism and I was getting so weak there. We would also run right after eating lunch so that would make me so sick.. Run run run. I'm very fit and always have been, but I was so overworked like an animal. Over a few months, my scalp started scabbing up... The very cheep shampoo used for our 5 minute everyday luke warm/maybe cold, shower was making my scalp react terribly.. It was infected basically and the nurse did not care! No one cared.. I remember seeing a girl go into a severe asthma attack once and she was looked at like a weakling. She didn't have her inhaler and I felt so bad. I knew something could have gone terribly wrong and she should have been rushed to the hospital..but of course that didn't happen.. I had also got my first 2 cavities ever there. Still//no dentist. I couldn't have midol for my SEVERE periods that I would have either. I found it funny that the boys could have razors but the girls were not trustworthy to have tampons, or razors.  Boys got showers first//so we get the leftover hot water, if there was any. This is just a few things off the top of my head right now. But I'll end it here. Btw, I'm doing just fine today, finally. :)

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