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Facility Question and Answers / Re: Unita Academy, Wellsville, UT
« on: July 31, 2010, 04:52:57 PM »
My daughter, M, was at Uinta Academy for about 13 months due to severe anxiety and depression that manifested in self-hurting behavior (hair pulling and picking at her gums), inability to get out of bed and regularly attend school, inability to nourish herself properly (she had lost 20 lbs. from a normal weight), and a tendency to make the focus of her life based on others (often boys) rather than her own goals. M’s dad and I had divorced 3 years earlier just before she began high school, which M took rather hard, and we shared custody every other week.
M was doing OK until the third year when her dad began a new relationship with a woman and her children in another city about 30 minutes away. Whereas his focus prior to this had been to be the best dad he could be and work with me to make M his top priority, that changed as he began to leave M alone or with her adult brother a great deal of the time she was to be with him. By the time M got to Uinta, she had mastered “splitting behavior” that allowed her to get what she wanted by pitting her parents against each other.
For the most part, Uinta did a good job of working with M to turn her around, with one exception. Although we had insisted that M’s loss of weight was not due to a traditional eating disorder, but more her anxiety and depression, Uinta insisted that she sing EVERY time she went to the bathroom to prove that she was not purging, and this went on for several months. They kept insisting it was about M’s need for control, but it felt like an unnecessarily cruel deprivation of M's privacy.
When M was nearing time to come home, it was decided that she would do better living in one home rather than bouncing back between two. M and her dad had managed to convince the Uinta staff that I had anger management issues that contributed to her anxiety. In fact, I was just stricter with her and was the only parent who set limits and expectations for her. Therefore, M chose to live with her dad because she could manipulate him easier and he would give in to most everything she wanted. Despite my pleas that this would not be a good arrangement if for no other reason than the fact that he was not around enough to supervise her, they supported M’s decision because her dad lied that he would change his life to be around more for M. The very first weekend M was home, her dad left her all day on Sunday to go with his girlfriend and her children.
Now a little over 8 months later, M has completely resumed almost ALL of her prior negative behaviors. She sleeps at odd hours and for too long, she performs poorly in jr. college and misses class despite being an extremely bright young woman, she has now lost 15 lbs. of the weight she had gained back, and she still exhibits her self-hurting behaviors, although less so than before. She still lets her social activities dictate her life rather than any goals for a future, and she spends money on eating out or on whatever extras she wants without performing any chores because she knows that her dad will subsidize it. What a waste of around $30k of her college money!
If your daughter has any issues related to a divorce, DO NOT SEND HER THERE as they will thrust her back into the very situation that contributed to her problems in the first place.
M was doing OK until the third year when her dad began a new relationship with a woman and her children in another city about 30 minutes away. Whereas his focus prior to this had been to be the best dad he could be and work with me to make M his top priority, that changed as he began to leave M alone or with her adult brother a great deal of the time she was to be with him. By the time M got to Uinta, she had mastered “splitting behavior” that allowed her to get what she wanted by pitting her parents against each other.
For the most part, Uinta did a good job of working with M to turn her around, with one exception. Although we had insisted that M’s loss of weight was not due to a traditional eating disorder, but more her anxiety and depression, Uinta insisted that she sing EVERY time she went to the bathroom to prove that she was not purging, and this went on for several months. They kept insisting it was about M’s need for control, but it felt like an unnecessarily cruel deprivation of M's privacy.
When M was nearing time to come home, it was decided that she would do better living in one home rather than bouncing back between two. M and her dad had managed to convince the Uinta staff that I had anger management issues that contributed to her anxiety. In fact, I was just stricter with her and was the only parent who set limits and expectations for her. Therefore, M chose to live with her dad because she could manipulate him easier and he would give in to most everything she wanted. Despite my pleas that this would not be a good arrangement if for no other reason than the fact that he was not around enough to supervise her, they supported M’s decision because her dad lied that he would change his life to be around more for M. The very first weekend M was home, her dad left her all day on Sunday to go with his girlfriend and her children.
Now a little over 8 months later, M has completely resumed almost ALL of her prior negative behaviors. She sleeps at odd hours and for too long, she performs poorly in jr. college and misses class despite being an extremely bright young woman, she has now lost 15 lbs. of the weight she had gained back, and she still exhibits her self-hurting behaviors, although less so than before. She still lets her social activities dictate her life rather than any goals for a future, and she spends money on eating out or on whatever extras she wants without performing any chores because she knows that her dad will subsidize it. What a waste of around $30k of her college money!
If your daughter has any issues related to a divorce, DO NOT SEND HER THERE as they will thrust her back into the very situation that contributed to her problems in the first place.