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The Troubled Teen Industry / Response to Negative Posts
« on: December 14, 2009, 04:06:28 AM »
I graduated from Carlbrook School in 2003. I have recently been in conversation with a close friend who's 16 year old sister is heading down the same road as I was- one whose focus was not on embettering my life or finishing HS but rather pushing the limits of society and authority. With most other disciplinary options tried and failed they were looking for anything more that could help. This forced me to again personally reflect on my Carlbrook experience, but to do so with added views of the parents and siblings throughout the process.
Initially being sent to wilderness schools and later Carlbrook felt like punishment- how could it not? My parents were taking me out of my "comfortable" environment and I had no control over the matter. Both of these were devastating. I lost my "freedom" to do what I wanted and was forced to go to groups and have all aspects of my life and behavior judged and critiqued. It was next to impossible to even consider the effort and energy that my friends, family, schools and ed consultants were expelling during this limbo period in order to get my life on the right track. For years, I harbored anger, hate and disdain towards many of decisions that my parents made in attempts to steer me in the right direction, but now am beginning to see that they did all they did out of concern and love.
The academics and extracurricular activities at the school could have been better, but at the time I was there the program was still growing. I am amazed to see the additions of many new classes and activities that I could have only dreamed of! A program like Carlbrook is not going to have everything that a prep school or boarding school can offer obviously- we were sent there to focus on ourselves and deeper issues that we did not wish to address- not necessarily academics or extracurriculars, though those do have a place in one's personal development.
As for the advisors- I believe whole heartedly that they wanted what was best for each of us. Some of what they said and did still confuses me to this day, but I do not think it was done with malice. I was a stubborn, selfish girl with no regard to how my actions were affecting those around me. I did not want to hear criticism from others for whom I had deemed worthy of little respect. I was a teenager. Isn't the whole philosophy behind Carlbrook to "serve the needs of bright, underachieving students who have historically challenged convention and questioned authority"? The advisors forced us to the address deeper issues behind our destructive behaviors- which I think very few people ever wish to confront and which many never do. As awkward and uncomfortable as some of the groups and workshops were they this way for this purpose.
The other students were often more negative than the advisors. Although you cannot directly call someone names or yell at you- a lot of times the criticism is not controlled and can become manifestations of others' judgements, spite and anger. However, I don't find this to be much different from human behavior outside of Carlbrook...
Carlbrook is not a quick fix. I did not go into the program and magically pop out squeaky clean and "cured". The school was a rest stop along life's path that got me to slow down and stop to think. My years there taught and reinforced tools that I was able to take with me as I assimilated into adulthood- ways to deal with others and how my actions are affecting others, more positive ways to think, self-reflection, honesty and forgiveness. Life after Carlbrook on my own was in some ways a more valuable learning experience than the school itself because I was truly responsible for myself and the decisions I made. I no longer had to abide by rules and "standards" of Carlbrook, but rather the rules and "standards" of life itself. I have made my fair share of mistakes along the way and have to live with them- that's the way life is.
I have great respect for the work and time that the advisors and teachers devoted to helping me get on my feet and improving my life. I would not be where I am if Sally M. or Jonathan G. had not pushed me to the deepest and darkest parts of my past and then helped me get back out. I may not have addressed issues without Grant P's hardballing attitude and Andy C's shear honesty pushing my buttons. I might not have gone to the college I chose if Dr. Bender and Justin M. had not pushed me academically to excel. And I may not have seen the beauty in little things in life had I not heard Tim B's passionate rants and realize the hope they inspired.
I understand that not everyone who attended to Carlbrook will view their experience the way I do, but I hope and wish that eventually from all the negativity and criticism towards the school these students can find something positive and beneficial about the experience. Be it the friends you made, fun times you had, Mr. Foran's cynicism, the food...something.
If anyone has serious questions or wants to talk further post a reply and I can send you an email. I hope this helps.
Initially being sent to wilderness schools and later Carlbrook felt like punishment- how could it not? My parents were taking me out of my "comfortable" environment and I had no control over the matter. Both of these were devastating. I lost my "freedom" to do what I wanted and was forced to go to groups and have all aspects of my life and behavior judged and critiqued. It was next to impossible to even consider the effort and energy that my friends, family, schools and ed consultants were expelling during this limbo period in order to get my life on the right track. For years, I harbored anger, hate and disdain towards many of decisions that my parents made in attempts to steer me in the right direction, but now am beginning to see that they did all they did out of concern and love.
The academics and extracurricular activities at the school could have been better, but at the time I was there the program was still growing. I am amazed to see the additions of many new classes and activities that I could have only dreamed of! A program like Carlbrook is not going to have everything that a prep school or boarding school can offer obviously- we were sent there to focus on ourselves and deeper issues that we did not wish to address- not necessarily academics or extracurriculars, though those do have a place in one's personal development.
As for the advisors- I believe whole heartedly that they wanted what was best for each of us. Some of what they said and did still confuses me to this day, but I do not think it was done with malice. I was a stubborn, selfish girl with no regard to how my actions were affecting those around me. I did not want to hear criticism from others for whom I had deemed worthy of little respect. I was a teenager. Isn't the whole philosophy behind Carlbrook to "serve the needs of bright, underachieving students who have historically challenged convention and questioned authority"? The advisors forced us to the address deeper issues behind our destructive behaviors- which I think very few people ever wish to confront and which many never do. As awkward and uncomfortable as some of the groups and workshops were they this way for this purpose.
The other students were often more negative than the advisors. Although you cannot directly call someone names or yell at you- a lot of times the criticism is not controlled and can become manifestations of others' judgements, spite and anger. However, I don't find this to be much different from human behavior outside of Carlbrook...
Carlbrook is not a quick fix. I did not go into the program and magically pop out squeaky clean and "cured". The school was a rest stop along life's path that got me to slow down and stop to think. My years there taught and reinforced tools that I was able to take with me as I assimilated into adulthood- ways to deal with others and how my actions are affecting others, more positive ways to think, self-reflection, honesty and forgiveness. Life after Carlbrook on my own was in some ways a more valuable learning experience than the school itself because I was truly responsible for myself and the decisions I made. I no longer had to abide by rules and "standards" of Carlbrook, but rather the rules and "standards" of life itself. I have made my fair share of mistakes along the way and have to live with them- that's the way life is.
I have great respect for the work and time that the advisors and teachers devoted to helping me get on my feet and improving my life. I would not be where I am if Sally M. or Jonathan G. had not pushed me to the deepest and darkest parts of my past and then helped me get back out. I may not have addressed issues without Grant P's hardballing attitude and Andy C's shear honesty pushing my buttons. I might not have gone to the college I chose if Dr. Bender and Justin M. had not pushed me academically to excel. And I may not have seen the beauty in little things in life had I not heard Tim B's passionate rants and realize the hope they inspired.
I understand that not everyone who attended to Carlbrook will view their experience the way I do, but I hope and wish that eventually from all the negativity and criticism towards the school these students can find something positive and beneficial about the experience. Be it the friends you made, fun times you had, Mr. Foran's cynicism, the food...something.
If anyone has serious questions or wants to talk further post a reply and I can send you an email. I hope this helps.