1st Response
I can tell you didn't write this message to me personally, I can only guess you sent it out to a few key players of this site,
As much as you may think this is some kind of parent hate fest it is not, it is an intervention.
I have suggested to her she needs to go to college out of your city, possibly even out of state. However the fact that you have spent a magnanimous amount of money on CCM, I can see how giving her a college education would be the last thing you would be willing to do. It sucks that she will have to suffer for that mistake as she already has bore the brunt of that ill fated decision, but I suggest you at least support her in getting her own student loans.
If you are seriously unwilling to give her the love and support she needs at this point, and insist on continuing to blame her and make her life miserable, then by all means, send her here. I live in San Diego, CA right next to SDSU. Have her apply for college and look into student housing, I will be willing to take responsibility for mentoring her through these integral steps in her maturation. I can't promise you I will be able to financially support her, learning to provide for herself is something her parents should have taught her by now, but I am more than capable of giving her the emotional support and positive example she needs to learn what it means to be an adult. I just think its sad that once again you are so unwilling to set aside your hateful, judgmental and vile attitude to simply be a good mother to Katie, is it really any wonder why she has these epic melt-downs?
?
-Chelsea
Well to start off, you are wrong. You are the only person I sent it to. I knew you'd throw it up here to keep the flames going.
Intervention my ass. All you people are doing is leading her down more destructive paths, giving her false hope as you don't actually know her, don't know truths, only believe what you want to believe. Give me a fucking break.
College: Yes, we have also told her she needs to at least go to a college that has dorms on campus, either in state of out. Both of our older children have done that and have done well. And all our children knew from the start that college is on their own. There is nothing we can do to help them. Filling out the FAFSA is a waste of energy as they won't qualify to get anything anyway. This is life. You want a better one, there are things you have to step up and do for yourself. Yes, we feel bad we can't help out any of our kids. NO, it's not just because we spent so much to try to save Katies life.
I do feel, and have told her this, that hopefully her and I will get to a better place when we don't live under the same roof. As someone else pointed out, some personalities just clash. Funny I don't have the same problems with any of the other kids, or the kids' friends, etc. They think we are great and fun parents.
Anything we have tried to teach her has gone in one ear and out the other. She "right-fights" constantly, and knows it all about everything. I'm very tired, the whole family is tired (even the ones that don't live here), even the dog is tired. He can tell when she's in her moods and hides in his cage. But I suppose you all will now say I've clouded his mind with terrible thoughts about her and I've even turned him against her.
There is no amount of bullshit you people can spew to make me believe that Cross Creek was a horrible, torture chamber. The people there were caring. There were no strip searches, I don't know where you get your sick info. They didn't have to eat their vomit, etc. Those were stories of the little "cherubs" that tried to manipulate their parents to get them out. We visited it. We talked endlessly with the great therapists there. She still talks about how she misses the place and Garth and Ben. But even they were worn down by her, didn't know what else to do to help her grow and understand that she doesn't know everything and didn't have to argue about every minut detail of every conversation.
You seriously think you can do better, have at it. She's of age and can make her own decisions. Let's see how much money you have to miss before you say anything. Let's see how many times you have to tell her to do something before you lose it. Let's see how many of your personal items and cherished family mementos have to be broken or become missing before you say enough is enough.
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