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Messages - mh1979

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / OK STRAIGHT PARENTS ENOUGH
« on: December 11, 2008, 09:53:17 PM »
NOT ONE OF YOU PARENTS HAS COME TO THE AID AND DEFENSE OF YOUR CHILD
YOU DIDNT BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY TOLD YOU WHAT WAS GOING ON
EVEN WHEN THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY FILED CHARGES YOU DIDNT BELIEVE
EVEN WHEN THE KIDS WON THE LAWSUITS ALONE YOU DIDNT BELIEVE
EVEN WHEN THE PROGRAMS WERE SHUT DOWN ACROSS THE COUNTRY FOR THE SAME THING YOU REFUSED TO BELIEVE
EVEN WHEN THE PAPERS AND TELEVISION REPORTED IT YOU REFUSED TO BELIEVE.
FOR TWENTY PLUS YEARS YOU HAVE PUT YOUR CHILD THROUGH HELL BY FAILING TO BELIEVE IN THEM , DEFEND THEM
WHEN THEY WERE KIDS YOU FAILED , YES FAILED TO PROTECT THEM - YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP ON CRIMINAL CHARGES FOR FAILING TO PROTECT
YOU ALL WERE NOT STUPID PARENTS EITHER - ALL WERE UPPER MIDDLE CLASS, DEGREES , DOCTORS, LAWYERS , TEACHERS ALL TRAINED TO RECOGNIZE ABUSE
YOU FAILED TO REPORT IT ALSO A CRIME.
NOT ONE PARENT (MINUS WES) CAME TO THE AIDE OF THEIR CHILD WHILE BEING ABUSED AND TORTURED.
WE AS YOUR CHILD HAVE DEFENDED YOU BLAMNED SEMBLER , NO MORE YOU ARE JUST AS GUILTY.
WE SUFFER FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES BECAUSE OF YOU.
YOU TAUGHT US TO FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT, YOU TAUGHT US TO REPORT ABUSE, YOU TAUGHT US TO TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD BE TREATED BUT YOU
SET NO SUCH EXAMPLE.
ENOUGH
WE HAD TO PROTECT EACH OTHER, WE HAD TO FIGHT AS CHILDREN ALONE.

WHY - TAKE PSYCH 101 TO ADMIT THAT YOU HAD MADE THAT KIND OF MISTAKE WAS MORE GUILT THAN YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HANDLE AND MORE
IMPORTANTLY YOU THOUGHT WHAT WOULD MY PEERS THINK , KNOWING I HAD MADE SUCH A MISTAKE. YOUR REPUTATION MEANT MORE THEN AND NOW
THAN YOUR OWN CHILD. THE PROOF IS IN YOUR ABSOLUTE LACK OF ACTION ON YOUR CHILDS BEHALF.

WELL ENOUGH NO MORE EXCUSES FOR THE PARENTS , NO MORE TIME FOR YOU TO COME TO YOUR SENSES, NO MORE CHILD LIKE PROTECTING THE PARENTS.

NO , SEE WHEN THEY GOOGLE YOUR NAME NOW, THEY WILL FIND WHAT YOU HAVE TRULY DONE EVEN UP TILL 20 PLUS YEARS LATER , MANY ARE STILL
UNWILLING TO EVEN TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED "YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT" OH WHATS A MATTER MIGHT MAKE YOU A BIT
UNCOMFORTABLE. SHAKE YOU OUT OF YOUR DENIAL. WELL MAYBE YOUR ADULT CHILD NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT , EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. NO OF COURSE
NOT. YOU ONLY THINK OF YOUR REPUTATION AND HIDING BEHIND YOUR DENIAL OF YOUR MISTAKE. INSTEAD OF DEFENDING THEM AND GOING AFTER THOSE THAT RAN THE PLACE YOU CONTINUE TO PUNISH YOUR CHILD BY SAYING THINGS LIKE "YOU DESERVED IT BECAUSE YOU RAN AWAY" . ARE YOU SERIOUS? NO CHILD , DESERVES TORTURE, ABUSE , LIFE LONG DISABILITIES NO MATTER, NO MATTER WHAT THEY DID.

SO IN THE TOPIC ABOVE I WOULD LIKE TO START A LIST OF PARENTS WHO HAVE DONE NOTHING. PERHAPS EVEN A SITE DEDICATED STRICKLY TO THE PARENTS WHO HAVE DONE NOTHING SO EVERY TIME YOUR NAME IS GOOGLED ON THE INTERNET , ITS THE FIRST THING SOMEONE FINDS OUT ABOUT YOU.
YOU SHOULD HAVE JUMPED OVER US TO GO AFTER THOSE THAT WERE DESTROYING YOUR CHILD BUT NO YOUR LITTLE REPUTATION MEANT MORE , YOUR DENIAL STILL MEANS MORE TO YOU THAN HELPING YOUR ADULT CHILD HEAL.

WELL LET US SHAKE YOUR WEAK, PANSY, NO MORAL ASS OUT OF DENIAL. YOUR CHILD HAD MORE MORALS, GUTS, STRENGTH IN THEIR LITTLE FINGER THAN YOU EVER DID. THEY WERE NOT AFTRAID TO TAKE ON THE ONES THAT DID IT. YOU LIVE IN FEAR. YOU PASS IT OFF AS THAT WAS YEARS AGO. NO, WE STILL SUFFER TODAY AND BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT OUNCE OF HONOR OR MORALS OR STRENGTH IN YOU ITS TIME YOU FACE THE MUSIC.

YES, WE WILL NOT TAKE YOUR DENIAL AND PASSIVE HURT ANYMORE. WE ARE DETERMINED TO EXPOSE YOU SO IT HAUNTS YOU , LIKE IT HAS US UNTIL YOU GET OFF YOUR ASS AND STAND FOR YOUR CHILD.

I AM HAPPY TO START THE LIST IN THE POST ABOVE AND IF I AM WRONG PLEASE CORRECT THE NAMES, THEY COME FROM FRIENDS OF MINE WHO I HAVE SPOKEN TO ABOUT THEIR PARENTS FEEL FREE TO ADD TO IT. SOMEONE PLEASE FEEL FREE TO START A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO SIMPLY EXPOSING THE WEAK, SELF CENTERED , PARENTS.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« on: December 05, 2008, 02:41:19 PM »
Thank you woof for your insight. You are right so , Margaret D. if in my post my anger came across as an attack I apologize that IS NEVER what i want to do ever again to any survivor. Woof is right that I need to have patience and understanding with where you are in your well, dare I say recovery (for lack of a better word) from straight. We are all at different levels of dealing with it . One is not better than the other, we are just at different stages.
so, in friendship let me offer this- If you ever need someone to talk to I will be there for you no questions asked and we will chalk this up to a difference of opinion and recognozing that we are at different stages.
I do remember Margaret D that we were friends in there for quite awhile, we did the skyway thing together often, we did the skits together that the group loved.
My goal since leaving there is for us as survivors to be a force that can't be divided by the old tactics of divide and conquer or the "confronting" that was mean spirited and not love.

Think of how powerful and effective we would all be as a group if we worked together, protected each other from them, and were commited to helping each other, being there for each other in a true friendship way. How powerful would we be if when one survivor was attacked by the enemy (like through a lawsuit or a threat ) the enemy got an answer from ALL of us, I mean ALL. How much progress could we make toward justice could we make by working together.

Thankyou Woof for the reminder , I was a little blinded by anger and shock, I should have been more understanding and patient. But that is what we are here for , to help each other right?

3
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« on: December 05, 2008, 12:38:15 AM »
i guess I didnt get started over from that incident either. I guess I didnt spend another year in the program from that either.
People RARELY forget what got them started over.
Ok, now that , that is settled. I am not going into anymore with you.

I have learned my lesson share your heart on a board of survivors -who should be close as vietnam vets - someone will rip you
apart, call you names etc. Oh wait thats what we did to each other in group. Why should we act any different toward each other now right?
Why not give them what they want.

No thanks, Margaret , I left group A LONG TIME ago.

4
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« on: December 05, 2008, 12:21:05 AM »
MARGARET -
I WAS TRYING HARD TO LISTEN TO YOU BUT I HAVE NOT SPOKEN TO YOU IN OVER 25 YEARS AND YOU CALL ME A LIAR.
YOU WERE NOT THERE, YOU WERE NOT IN THAT ROOM, THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
AS FOR THE PROGRAM TIME- YOU CALL ME A LIAR , YET YOU SAY YOU HAVE NO ANGER. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I LIED ABOUT IN THE PROGRAM
WHAT I DO KNOW IS WE ALL LIED IN THE PROGRAM, ABOUT THE DRUGS WE DID, THE BIGGER THE LIST THE BETTER THE IMPRESSION, THE WORDS "LOVE YOU"
HUGGING PEOPLE, SAYING WE REALLY WANTED TO BE THERE AND THE LIST GOES ON.
SO IF YOU NEVER LIED IN THE PROGRAM I WOULD VENTURE TO GUESS YOUR THE FIRST.

I SAID WHAT YOU SAID SOUNDED STAFF LIKE, "YOU SEEM STAFF LIKE".
CHANGE ACCORDING TO WHOM I AM AIMING MY ANGER AT??? I havent been on the board in LONG time and I don't come on here and let loose on people. Man, you really don't know me nor have you even spoken to me in 25 years and yet you suddenly think you know all about my life, my motives, what I do. Yes, now I am a bit angry because I tried hard to discuss with it you nicely.
You see  this is just it, someone shares their heart a PAINFUL experience and just like in group it gets ripped to shreds. THAT IS THE OLD WAY.
NO, I am not saying YOU are being unsuportive. What I am saying is that it is presumptious to come on here , out of nowhere, having not seen or talked to me in twenty five years and call me a liar when I devuldge something very painful for me. Something I havent devuldged my anger about in 25 years. It hurt like hell to think about it again.
I have gone into detail what happened. I don;t care if you don't believe feel free to ask those involved.

I know what I have done to fight them, I know what my morals are, I know what I went through, I know the price i paid for fighting and if you think it isnt a high one ask Richard.
The suvivors know what people like Richard , myself, sammy, mike , chris , ginger , and many many others have done to get even a little justice for everyone.
What have you done except call someone a liar and stay in denial by saying "you were never involved in any of those things".

The odd thing is your whole reason you say is because " you couldnt let it go about john k, that you know it couldnt have happened". Really, so you were there the whole time. It isnt possiable that something happened in there that you didn't know about. I guess if Margaret D doesnt remember it , it never happened huh.

You are certain I am lying about it. YOU werent there. Go ahead ask the others. Look its apparent you have a long way to go to deal with what happened and thats cool and normal.
I am not going to do this on the board with you.
If for your peace of mind you need to know its true. Don't take my word for it. Ask the ones involved. Im sure John remembers, I am sure Kim S does too. John was one of the few staff that didnt abuse people personally, he was mild mannered, a bit funny sometimes but I cant change the facts. Now, he was about 16 or 17 at the time so I guess if you want to stretch it , it was not him that was obligated to report it but the Senior and Ex staff. There is also Chris C who came in the room to break up the fight if you want to ask him.

Forgive my anger but I am stunned that you would come on and presume to know me , my feelings, my motives and tell me what happened to ME what happened and didnt happen to Me in the program. I am sorry that it stunned you, I am sorry if I blew an image you had of john, but the facts are the facts. I will say this John was mild mannered, funny at times and didnt abuse people physically himself at least not that I remember. But his decision those two days, were huge, effected some for life , like that kid and they were the wrong choice. How many times did staff ALMOST EVERY staff order people to be sat on? He was a part of that, sorry but he was. The only lee way I will give him is that he was under age and
YOU NEED TO REMEMBER THAT WHEN I POSTED TO JK, IT WAS IN RESPONSE TO A STAFF MEMBER POSTING - I HAVE NO REGRETS - DID IT GET WORSE AFTER I LEFT? PURE DENIAL IF THAT JK WAS WHO I THOUGHT. Everything matched but it wasnt and I apologized to the boards jk.
Margaret - you might want to check your facts before you call people a liar, you may also want to have talked to them sometime in the last 25 years before pretending to know them, you might want help all the survivors fight straight and help other victims BEFORE you accuse others who have been in this fight from the begining.

5
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Re: St.Pete straight 1979
« on: December 04, 2008, 11:42:01 PM »
Margaret - I also wanted to answer one other question.
You asked about Chris C. I could go into a VERY LONG LIST of innocents involving Chris, Letha and others.
Some of us kinda follow an unwritten rule when we discuss straight and the memories that come flooding back and how deal with each other as friends.
if I listed all these things I remember  about this person or that, it may jog the memory of a person whom is new to the board, perhaps a memory they aren’t ready to deal with and were not expecting to be hit with. In the past, some have committed suicide after looking up Straight or seeking out survivors and trying to deal with all the anger, hurt, pain etc that comes up. Perhaps, that is due to memories come flooding back and they weren’t ready to be hit with a LIST of memories. Oh, we feel free to post a particular memory that is bothering us, or something we just remembered, but to make a list for you of ALL the things Chris C was involved with would (in my opinion only) very irresponsible of me.
What if there is a new person to the board from the Sarasota program reading this and my list FLOODS his/her memory and they can't handle it.
I know that sounds strange but I know the survivors that I am friends with, we DON’T do that. Simply, out of consideration for the ones just coming around.  If someone doesn’t remember something and we do, we don't tell them. I believe they will remember when they are ready. I am in NO WAY implying that anyone else should do that or even that my friends and I are right about handling it that way. Maybe we are not, maybe doing that does more harm than good.. Each one of us has to decide for themselves how we are friends with survivors. Just like me, some memories or emotions I have dealt with, others are just too deep for me to deal with at the time.
Also, there are kinda 2 survivors here, those of us that have been "out" a long time (that’s what we call it).
It means there may be some of us that started the looking straight up on the net, or seeking out others survivors to talk to and healing process years ago.
There are others survivors that have just started looking straight up or just beginning the healing process. We say they haven’t been "out" very long.
We try hard to be there for them, cut them some slack because it is a VERY RUDE awakening when the memories start coming back for them.
Now, that doesn’t mean that even today many of us that have been on the boards for years or have many survivor friends now don’t have days where we remember things that are painful, some very painful.

If you would like me to go through the incidents with you through email or something I am happy to if you think it would help you. I remember a lot about you. In fact, in the program we were friends. You and I use to do the skits remember. You were hilarious with that hair. Of course, I remember some other not so pleasant things as well BUT we ALL were involved in that shit, doing things we would never want to, doing things at times very selfishly to save out own skin but we were kids. I know you said you were never part of that but Margaret we ALL were at one time or another, to one degree or another. This includes me. There is woman that works at Sarasota Memorial who I know is furious with me because I sat on her or something the point is for her, she remembers me as someone that hurt her. I would give anything to be able to talk to her, tell her how sorry I am. None of us kids, I don’t think, wanted to hurt anyone. We were all just dealing with hell. Now, there were a few that seem to enjoy it.

About the list I made – It is my list, its how I feel, I am not saying its right for someone else. Although, many votes were cast for Wanda and Chris – kidding sorry- wanted to lighten it up. Anyway, it’s based on my experience.
I hope you find what you’re looking for,
 I wish you peace and if you want to talk I am here.

sorry so long...

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