Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Quote from: ""Guest""

Do you have a problem with kids telling an authority figure that their friend is in a sexual relationship or is doing drugs?

damn i just came to realize we have some genuinely conservative confomative backwards-thinking nieve people on this site. then again this country is full of this scum. i dont understand, why must your children suffer locked up in an institution? why must your child be punished for your own mistakes and bigotry? did it ever come to you that maybe SEX AND DRUGS ARE NOT THE PROBLEM! you are the problem. they are an intrinsic part of humanity as a whole, and their opression only brings about grief. a kid who is doing drugs is not a bad kid, they are just curious. but, it is up to you as a parent to know where to draw the line, and understand the difference between various patterns and habits.

some HLAesque examples you might be able to relate to:
 a kid who smokes weed every day but gets good grades. He doesnt get along with his parents, but has stable freindships. He doesnt get into trouble, although his freinds seem shady. his parents are worried.

this kid is a pothead. yet, is that a bad thing? although he partakes in questionably legal activity, he is still fullfilling his responsibilities. maybe he doesnt get along with his parents becouse they dont approve of their lifestyle. so, there starts "the war that never was". maybe a simple blind eye here or there by the parents will IMPROVE the relationship, and keep him from making stupid desicions.

a kid smokes weed every day, sits around, does nothing, skips school, etc. also does hard drugs like cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine.

 this is where you must draw the line. it is at THIS point that kids need help.

a girl is 15 years old and is dating a 17 year old. they have sex regularly. the parents of the girl dont approve of the relationship, regardless of reasoning, even though they seem to be in love.

the parents need to grow up. and maybe change their church or something.

a girl is 14 and sleeps around. she dates guys up to a decade older. she gets drunk alot, and lets anyone take advantage of her.

when this happens 90% of the time it's becouse the parents are in a dysfunctional relationship themselves. the other 10% is becouse the girl is hitting puberty and her raging horomones are making her too horny to control. hey, some people are meant to be pornstars!


bigots, take a fucking look at yourselves and grow a backbone. and some self honesty would help, since i cant give you people the harder truth. i can only estimate.

Your inappropriate foul language and name calling turn me off.  I think you're full of yourself.

Quote from: ""PostGradParent""

Just an FYI for prospective families:  
HLA will try convincing you they do not allow romantic liasons between students on campus.  However, "dating" is the norm- many students are involved (romantically) with other students, and even manage to find unsupervised areas on campus in which to engage in sexual activity.  I am not refering to one, isolated instance, either, and assure you, although "prohibited", staff are often and admitedly aware these "relationships" between students exist.

It is impossible to have a co-ed campus and keep the kids from developing relationships with each other.  I am not concerned as much about the relationships the staff know about.  That just tells me they are in tune with what is going on.  I am more concerned about the ones they don't know about.  If staff know about students being sexually active and do not do anything about it or help hide it, then that is a problem.

I agree with your initial statement, but disagree with HLA saying (and stating in handbooks, I believe) that romantic relationships are not allowed (and even CONSEQUENCED), but knowingly allow them to go on.  It was another instance where we felt we had been misled by the school- as a prosepctive family, we were told romantic relationships beteen the students are disallowed, which was part of the reason we chose the facility.  After our student had been there 3 months, we find out our student's in a relationship the school knows about.  Hmmm.

You may have misunderstood what I said, initially- I did not accuse staff of knowing students were having sexual relations and not reporting them.  My complaint is that we were paying a heck of a lot of money for our children to be SUPERVISED at all times, but at numerous times with numerous students, that supervision did not exist, which allowed students opportunities to be sexually active.  And they were.

It doesn't need justifying.  HLA does not have to run every policy by the parents.  The parents are not share holders, they are customers.  If HLA wants to allow families to eat on campus that is their business.  On the occasions that I ran into HLA parents in the dining hall and had my family there, the parents thought it was wonderful that my family was there.  That is one of the interesting things about working in a place like HLA.  What some families see as a great thing, other families see as a bad thing.  I guess it depends on your perspective and outlook.

If you were a PARENT paying tuition for YOUR child's recovery, I venture to guess you would feel much differently about a portion of YOUR hard earned dollar being spent feeding staff members' families.

It is one of the perks that HLA affords to its employees.  Staff bring there families to eat and at the same time interact with the HLA kids.  My kids enjoyed eating on campus and getting to know the HLA students.  In turn, the HLA kids enjoyed playing with my children.

It infuriates me to learn that HLA feeds not only its staff, but its staffs' families, at the expense of the parents.  If you're reading this, imagine YOUR employer feeding YOU everyday, AND your family members, at no expense to you.  Absurd.

HLA says they will update the PGpics site weekly or bi weekly so that parents can see their children. They do not do that on a regular basis at all. Once again more lies.   :flame:  :roll:

Your statement is very true.  When your child is far, far away, and you only get to speak to them briefly, each week, the pgpics.com site becomes extremely important to you.  Donna and Gary were really great about updating their groups' picture sites regularly.  Buth the last year of my student's stay at HLA, a month (and often MORE) would elapse before new pictures were posted. :cry:

Our student told us Dan Mansfield's family (I realize he's gone, now) came to campus for lunch every day and dined in the lodge.  Why did we (parents) have to pay for his family to eat there?  Is that a benfit all staff members enjoy- their families eat free of charge on campus? ::noway::

I don't give a DARN about what happens to HLA.  Our student made it through.  I am a firm believer in karma, so I'll leave it up to that- karma.  In other words, Bucci will have something in common with Paris Hilton- JAIL TIME!