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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Quote from: ""Anne Bonney""

Why?  Why do you want to run anyone off that isn't militantly opposed to programs?  I personally AM militantly opposed to all of them but I'd like to be able to carry on a discussion with someone who thinks differently.  Someone like Karen or Sue, yes....they should be slammed every time they post, but someone coming on and talking about their actual experiences, even though I may vehemently disagree with them, should be afforded the opportunity to explain why they feel the  way they do.  It makes for interesting debate, which I believe is the whole point of a forum, no?

I agree whole heartedly anne. i also find it ironic that someone who claims to hate programmes is using bully tactics not dissimilar. Any comment that any poster makes which he does not like is considered trolling and results in a psycho personal attack.

My question to Nylex is what good do you think ASR did for you?
do you think the same positive thing could have been achieved at home without the programme?
If so how?
How was the costa rica trip for you?

1) Attempts at suicide were viewed as manipulation?

2) What would happen after an attempted suicide was discovered?

:lol:

So would you have spoken out about what happened to you when you first graduated from ASR?

Why speak now? From what I am gathering your opinion is less than flattering.

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No I don't mind, as long as I see where it's going.

In a sticky in my facilities forum where I plan to start catalogueing these question and answer sessions from graduates as they occur.

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2) I am not aware of a grievance system in place when I was there. If we were complaining about the school a lot of the staff had the attitude that "Well at least you're not at Three Springs". If you complained to your parents on the phone you had some nice things coming to you in group. It was kind of a "tough shit" type thing. My parents really hate talking about it, but from what has slipped out I guess they sort of got the same response.

3) No we did not. I think if we had asked they would have laughed.

These here scare me more than anything.

Are you really saying that if you complained you would have gotten something "nice" in group?

1) Please define this nice, and how did the group find out about it as I thought phone calls were private?

2) In a hypothetical situation had you called the state abuse hotline and they responded what might have happened?




I am finding this ASR to be a very disturbing place. I probably wouldn't even send my dog there for obediance training.


*** I love it your parents and counselors actually said, "Well you aren't at Three Springs!"

That is the typical mentality of all facilities. At Three Springs we used say at least you aren't at HLA. So I am to hear the thoughts are, "Suck up the abusive crap hear because it is only worse elsewhere."

So slightly abusive, or quasi abusive is ok versus Tranquility Bay Abusive? We have the luxury of making such distinctions now?


Nalex do you mind if I cut and past your answers to another thread for future reference?

Nalex,
           As for the follow-up support, it is optional. We get separate calls at home. The therapist calls our son on his cell phone and he can choose if or when he wants to answer it (his choice, sometimes he takes the call, other times he doesn't). He knows that he can call them anytime. I can understand  why some who graduate would want nothing more to do with the school.

      For our son, being an inpatient in the rehab facility was the most traumatic thing. He actually speaks fondly of ASR and wilderness. Perhaps it will take time for the whole experience to sink in. Everyone's experience is different.  It is unfortunate that there is very little out there to help teens (and parents) before it gets to the point where the only option left is wc, RTC or TBS. Losing your son or daughter for a year is painful for parents as well. The decision is after all else fails. Our son was not abused and felt cared for and safe at ASR. He is back home, catching up and credits ASR for helping him overcome or deal with his issues.

What is important is that there are some decent programs out there . None of them are perfect, but many are trying to improve.

Nalex, thanks for your insight. You have been able to provide a first-hand perspective. I hope all is going well for you. Unfortunatey, not knowing what would have happened if you  hadn't gone to a program, whether you would have been better or worse is something the whole industry needs to look at.

Despite the superficial changes I doubt the more important things have been altered at all. It remains all to easy to polish up a few odds and ends and passing them off as reputable change.

Keep posting Nalex. Your experiences as a witness from the perspective of a student is far to important to not be heard.

I don't know when Nalex was at ASR, but there hasn't been a base camp for quite a while (before my son even entered the school). Also ASR no longer does Costa Rica (and hasn't since last Jan).

The system that is used for meds is a unit dose system that is prepacked in individual doses (like in the hospitals) and is prepared off campus by a pharmacy company.

Kids have "cheeked meds", usually Adderall to snort later. This happens at every facility ocassionally. As for over-medicating, we actually had the opposite experience. The psychiatrist was overly cautious, raised doses slowly, and in our case I felt the dose was subtherapeutic.

The living quarters were actually like a college dorm. In fact, each room had their own bathroom in the room. We looked at several TBS's and ASR had nice rooms (the other schools were more like camp cabins).

ASR was also the only school that had central air, in the dorms, dining room and the academic building.

ASR hired a food service (that cooks for other facilities) and the food is pretty good. In addition to the menu, there is usually a salad bar and deli bar. Drinks are available 24/7 at dispensers like the fast foods. My son ate much heathier at school than at home.
On weekends they could get soda and candy with the school store money ($2/week).

The kids used to do their own laundrey, but as of spring ASR hired a laundry service, and kids no longer do laundry.

Housekeeping in the dorms and common areas are done by the students.
Gardeners mow the lawn and tend the grounds.

Students do work in the kitchen (dishes...) as a negative consequence. My son actually prefered the chores than having to write "reflection" assignments when he broke rules.

If one didn't know that it was a therapeutic boarding school, the physical facility looked like a regular campus. No gates, fences...

I am not meaning to sound like a brochure for a hotel I am just answering the questions posted. I can only compare it to the other programs (out west) that we looked at.