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Messages - JamesAlbert
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« on: June 01, 2001, 06:37:11 PM »
not alone
All I can say right now is that you are not alone. I hope you keep those letters still. We may need them !
I wish I could say more right now but it would not be wise.
Have faith, you are not alone. Your words meant a great deal to me, form many perspectives.
James
CATHY- no need to delete this IMHO.
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« on: June 01, 2001, 10:08:59 PM »
SO far off topic it cant be explained
After what I have read today, I gladly accept responsibility for my actions.
I have to, if I am to ever move on from the guilt and self hatred I have for doing them.
Your ramblings sound like the gospel to me.
I am most disturbed to find that it may still be happening, that there are still kids in plastic chairs, getting motivated. Getting motivated made me a cripple.
Getting motivated left me with spinal problems that will eventually lead to surgery, most likely not until I turn 45, so I get to live in pain for at least ten more years thanks to gettting motivated.
I am glad to have found this place, I had really never thought that I would find any way to gain this release, and validate my own experiences. Somehow they were like a dream until I started reading today. Then stuff started flying back at me, I was trembling often and I still am. Earlier when I thought about Dunking Ben A. 's head in the toilet, adn the whole bathroom scene I felt that same old feeling in the pit of my stomach that straight tought me to feel, overpowering anxiety, with a double guilt chaser on a set of paranoid rocks.
They didnt get me off drugs, they just tought me how to abuse endorphines and to enjoy masochisim.
James Albert Lloyd
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« on: June 01, 2001, 06:59:38 PM »
I have a room reserved now
Ok, I took the plunge and reserved a room for the two nights of the conference. My significant other has agreed to provide the frequent flyer miles to get me there so I am going. I have requested registration info as well.
Anyone interested in sharing my room may email me directly at :
former_emp@hotmail.com
The hotel would like me to limit the occupancy to 3 adults, there is one queen bed and a rollaway too.
reiterating my fair notice:
I am a pan-sexual poly-fidelitous deadhead.
I am currently partnered to a gay man, he will not be attending.
I hate straight. Straight hates me too. Really they do.
I was a staff trainee before leaving as a SWACA for the second time.
I saw, was a victim of, and did things that were not pretty, if you think you may hold a grudge against me, we might not need to share a room.
I was attacked and beaten up by a former primary counselee so this is a big leap of trust for me to offer, as I am terrified of being beaten again for what I did.
Today truly is the first day of the rest of my life.
Thanks
James
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« on: June 01, 2001, 05:47:07 PM »
a place to stay
I'd be willing also to share a room with anyone.
I was a trainee for a while, and I was in straight from 83-86 in Atlanta.
I can pay for most of room or a second room if there are too many for just one room.
James Lloyd
former_emp@hotmail.com
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