Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

I used an Ed Consultant, that is what got me in this mess to begin with.  She is the one that suggested Aspen, and then after I got the diagnosis of High Functioning Autism, OCD, Depression, etc. she would still give me names of places that were so of the wall, and not at all for my son's needs.  She would get all huffy and explain to me that I was just asking for too much that a school could not provide everything for my son.  I beg to differ, when I am forking over well over 120 thousand dollars a year in tuition alone that school better cater to every last need of my child health, physical mental well being.  That is why I never sent him away.  That is why he stayed at home.  He is in therapy, and his meds are carefully watched, we have an open and honest relationship.  We talk all the time.  He told his therapist he did not want to lie to me and that he felt that it was important that it was in th open that he had recently expermented with marijuana at a party and he felt bad if it came up and he didn't want to ever lie to me.  I gave him credit for that.  I told him I don't condone it in the house and I do not want it to effect his grades or school, and he should never drive under the influence.  We talked about the health dangers etc.  He knows it is not something I was happy about but he says it is something is doing in moderation, I am a realist, there isn't to much I can do.  I am happy he is honest.  That is more than I can say for Ed Consultants or any of the schools the whole industry is a bunch of horse shit.  Some people might be trying to do good, and a different enviroment is definetly a good choice but, send a kid to a strict aunt if you have and a good therapist.  got to go

Just thought I would let everyone know what has been going on.  My son has been home now since pulling him from Aspen in December.  He is at the public school on a 504.  He is getting all A's.  He is on the Forensics team, is back in Japanese, will be back on the Debate Team, is studying for his ACT's, is still on medication, and going to a great therapist, along with myself and the rest of the family when needed.  He try's to keep in touch with some of the kids from Aspen.  Other than normal teenage stuff he has been fairly respectful.  As long as he is happy and moving along with his life, doing the things that he needs to do to make him independant one day I am happy.  That is all.  Thanks for being here to help me.

I didn't know where to put this, it was just wierd.  I'm still in contact with a lot of the parents of kids at Aspen Ranch and am on the Aspen Parent Web site so, I posted this web site and also a site that showed all the lawsuits against Theraputic Boarding Schools.  Some guy really started to hassel me on my
e mail asking what my agenda was and who was I.  I repeated that I was a parent of a child that was unfortunately at Aspen and that I wish I had all this information before I made the decsion that I made.  That we are all, hopefully intelligent, and that I was just providing information for people to do with they wanted with it.  That my motives were pure and that I just was trying to help.  He really tried to scare me.  It was strange.  The other people on the site could read my response and they were proud of my response but it gave me the creeps.  That's all.  Just wanted to share

why doesn't someone write all this into Dr. Phil or OPrah.  I really think that if Oprah knew what was going on she would be outraged. someone should e mail her this website. Or send her a heart wrenching story of what went on at these places.  Get the story on her show.  She is powerful.

Aspen might have been a good place for you.  I'm not saying that it is a horrible place I'm just saying it is corporate which is not a good thing for the interest of our children.  My son was there and I was paying big bucks and he was not seeing a Psychiatrist regularly, he was not seeing a Therapist more then once a week for the 30 minute phone calls and with all the kids coming and going group therapy was useless it's basically hello and good bye.  He did not go to drug or 12 step because that was not his problem.  After visiting him and seeing that all the money in the world given to the ranch was not going to give him the proper treatment I hired someone outside of the Ranch to give him tests and that is when we found out that he had the Autistic thing going on, so we pulled him out.  Now if there are kids there with neurological problems, or have suicidal tendencies or are schizophrenic etc and now they are down to only one Psychiatrist and the kids aren't getting the help they need those kids that are truly sick are really going to get damaged.  That is were the shame is if they turned those kids away and only babysat the spoiled brats that would be one thing but they should not take kids with the real problems.  I'm glad that they helped you and I know that they have helped some of my son's roomates that were solely there for drug issues.

I checked out Whit Mountain and it is too out doorsy for my son.  I have narrowed it down to 2 choices, by the way my son is home. The firs choice is Simons Rock it is a College for high school kids, the other is Brandon Hall.  Anyone have anything to say about these schools?  P.S.  My son is glad to be home is doing well, but, does not have any horror stories to tell about Aspen.  It is corporate run, and for some kids that may end up in jail it could be a good wake up call.  They definetly hold the mighty dollar above all but, they also do try to help the kids.
KK

He had an evaluation first, I didn't agree with the evaluation.  They said he was a dangerous psycho kid that needed to be put away in a program. They recommended Cross Creek but it seemed to punitive and I was right.  The Psychiatrist was the one that told me to take the T.V. away also, I guess I just should stop listening to the people with the MD and listen to myself.

First of all, who said I fought with my son?  I weigh 90 pounds my son 145 I was trying to perserve my pictures ie; take them from his hands before he flung them to the ground and got more glass everywhere. that is how he broke my thumb him fighting me, not the other way around.  Two, he is not being abused at the Ranch, yes it isn't the Ritz, but he isn't being starved, he has shelter, he has protein bars and snacks at his therapist office that I brought him that he tells me he can get anytime he wants.  He also has books and CD's there.
He rides horses, loves his teachers.  The only thing he doesn't like there and we both agree on this is the level system which is behavior modifcation, which we agreed he didn't have to work on, and the fact that the babysitters were sweet but stupid.  The reason I care about his grades is because he cared, he was becoming upset and distressed and wanted to find out what was wrong with him.  After his uncle commited suicide and we were afraid that he was going to the same that is when we together went to the Ranch.  We all feel that it is not the right program for, but he has learned a lot there.  He has learned tolerance and we learned that he has a high I.Q. and he has high Functioning Autism or a type of Aspergers and High Anxiety.  Now we will be able to place in a better school.  We did not let watch in are room we had a lock on are door but he busted through it.  My husband has had 3 back surguries and my son knew that he could take his dad down if he wanted to.  He used to say I'm smarte and stronger than you and without respect it's all true.  We may have experience on our side but with a 150 verbal I.Q. he could out debate us.
I came home one day and found one of my other son's we have 3 boys and a daughter, locked in the bathroom fearing his life, thinking that this son was going to kill him.  I tried everything, before
resorting to sending him away, and it was at his request.  So don't judge me or twist my words.  My son loves me and we have a great relationship.  He doesn't hate me for a minute for sending him. KK