Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Raps served only one real purpose that worked.  Yelling at people at the school who were annoying you so they wouldn't repeat it.  But it was only little stuff, things you would have knocked the person senseless at any other school.

Carmen was so fake.  She figured since she was Dan's wife, she therefore had some kind of great wisdom to impart on everyone in raps.  Most of the staff were that way, as though they were checking a cheat-sheet constantly looking for the right thing to say.  

Bob Silfies was generally a decent guy, though he played the "That's right!  How does that feel?  Ah huh!"  game a lot too.  

Caroline was just a bitch.  She wouldn't indict me in raps because she was too easy to turn the conversation back on.  She had an IQ of a prostitute...  wait a minute...  She was a prostitute...  If you used a word large enough, her eyes would glaze over and her mouth would shut.  She could yell, but generally I would just give her the Spock raised eyebrow, she would stop, and ask "What?"  And then I would have her.  But having the rep/title of an intellect, most of the uneducated students who were not getting any more education while there would back down, or not bother to speak to me in raps.  I think I got indicted four times the entire time I was there.

Another game I would play was "Find the Indicter."  Figure out who had requested you, and watch them.  When they tried to maneuver in position to indict you during someone elses indictment, in preparation for blowing you away, you continuosly switch seats with people to place yourself next to them, since the rules were; no indicted someone next to you.  Too intimidating.  Which seemed a rule totally opposite of RMA's goals.  To intimidate people into submission.

Tim Brace was usually my worst rap leader since he was armed with detailed information about my past.  He loved to bring up that I was adopted, therefore abandoned, therefore worthless.  Worked a couple of times too.  But I got him back.  I found my birth family a few years ago, found out I have 5 siblings, and they tried more than once to find me.  They wanted me!!!!  Not so worthless afterall, eh Timmy??!!!???

But I agree with most people who have said they liked to label people at every turn, with mostly inaccurate titles like slut.  Everything was so canned and generic there, it was hard to take much of it seriously.  And when people say they went to that school with few problems, but came out with plenty because RMA gave them the problems, I can relate to that.  I had never seriously considered the fact I was adopted until it was put in my face several times.  And intellectually, I was interested in finding them, but not with RMA's help.  Being forced to think of my birth family in negative terms was not something I had ever wanted to do.  I didn't know they well enough to judge them, and RMA sure as hell didn't know them any better.  And that was the problem.  The always came armed with erroneous information about students, all coming from parents who had no idea what was going on with their own children, that everyone was just taking shots in the dark trying to label and judge everyone without taking the time to get to know them.

I hated being indicted or watching others get indicted by look goods or older students who were forced to participate and yell at people in order to get privledges or keep them.  Want to be in leadership?  Indict 3 people per week.  Want to ski at Sweitzer?  Get three new students to tell you their story.  These people didn't know you, didn't seem to want to know you, yet were forced to yell at you for whatever they could think of.  Talk about needy people.  Look goods just sucked.

Raps were also far too long.  Three fricken hours in plastic chairs, cushioned ones if you were lucky, listening to people yell and scream about things I would prefer not have known about.  And the graphic details...  My God!  I did not need to know how someone went about getting one of the sheep at the farm to hold still while they performed sex with it.  

The worst was the all-female rap I somehow got put in.  Twenty four women led by Caroline Wolfe, all discussing things no man was meant to know, and then being put on the spot as the only guy in the rap to tell them which guys masterbated to which girls.  Including myself.  Though I did get to see Caroline Wolfes breasts in that rap.  For the second time.  She loved to flash people.  Problem was, I was having sex with someone there, on a regular basis, and was in love, so I had to keep my answers brief and strictly lies.  I learned that deodorants and rubberbands had more uses than I was aware of.  Personally, tight constricting rubber and chemicals don't generally find their way anywhere near my manhood.  (Cringe!)

Well, that's my comment about raps.

--Bill,

You are correct, I put the time of our graduation.  Our peer group was formed in July of 1984 and graduated in July of 1986.  

Thanks for keeping an eye on my dates.

--Bill,

I went to RMA back in 1984, with Geoff who posted above.  We have indeed been the closest of friends for more than 20 years now and ironically, without RMA, that would not have been the case.
Susan was my girlfriend there, and we stayed, or rather got back together after she was yanked out by her father after we had a sex contract together.  The relationship lasted for several years and I will always be grateful I got to know her.

Yes, RMA had some good students, many of whom became good friends.  Shared experiences, even shared trauma do that to people.  They grow closer together.
I think the three of us were lucky in that we stuck together, trying to keep a firm grasp on reality, which RMA worked so hard to destroy and reform in their horrid vision.

That nightmare of a place was marketed to wealthy families who had neither the time nor the ability, perhaps even lacking the desire, to keep working with their kids, as a place to make them better again.
The problem I saw, was that the program was one-size-fits-all, and many of us were not that messed up to begin with.
I was sent to RMA because I did not complete homework.  I doubt any student who was there with me would claim I was not intelligent or well educated, so I wasn't doing schoolwork for reasons that had nothing to do with capability.
But here I was, surrounding by kids who had real problems.  Drugs, alcohol, sexual experiences so bizarre I get sick recalling listening to them repeated at the beginning of every propheet.
My parents had intended to use RMA as a way of disowning me after my 18th birthday, so I was sent there for all the wrong reasons.  On graduation day I was told I was never coming home.  Which messed me up enough I really needed counciling then.  
Parents have no clue what their kids are really doing at that school.  When they come on the occassional visits, they see their kid performing.  Doing various activities, all of which appear wholesome, running, playing, spending time with others in meaningful relationship, and they figure their kid is really in a magical place that is truly going to make they better again.
But they don't see the raps.  The constant tearing down of each student's mental barriers.  The humiliation tactics, peer pressure, sleep deprivation, bans, and so many other emotional and mental attacks that leave their child unable to cope with real life after RMA.

For me, after graduation, I was in a haze.  I was flown back to California and saw more people in the first five minutes at San Francisco airport than I had seen in the 2 years in Idaho.  Culture shock was the least of my worries however.
I had no money, no skills, and no way to survive in the most expensive state in the union, without parental support and traumatized by my time in Idaho.  
I have spent the better part of 20 years trying to rebuild my life, rebuilding my family relationships and failing miserably.  It was all a waste.  The Academy, the efforts to try to get my family to see I was not some evil teenager and never was, and to someday be proud of myself and have my family proud of me.

I have attempted suicide 3 times since graduating.  I should say I committed suicide, but when you fail, they say you just tried.  I hung myself and the rope broke.  Twice.  Odds of that are billions to one.  RMA gave me nothing but a few close friends and took away my family, my sense of self, my sense of purpose and my control over my emotions.   The staff there had no training and should not have been allowed to work with the minds of young kids, using the dangerous techniques they employed.  

From everything I have heard, the schools that spawned from CEDU and RMA were no better and continued the traditions of illegal practices, sex and drugs that were prevailent at RMA.  That they are shutting down is a good thing.  I think every cent they charged to every parent who sent a kid there should be returned, with appologies.  

What started out so many years ago as a place to help troubled young teens turned into a hellish nightmare for far too many.  I think it is evident that even 20 years later, people are still reliving the trauma and having so much trouble succeeding in their lives.  It pains me to know that those of you have have left so recently may still have endless years of emotional pain ahead of you.  And I don't know what I can offer you that would help.

I still manage to pick myself up every day and keep going, and every day it does get a little easier.  But the memories and the horror never fade.  And I still want my family back!

Good luck to you all,

William Henry, class of 1986