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Messages - Maddie May

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Growing Together
« on: January 14, 2003, 03:16:00 PM »
I would like to beleive it is not the same way but how could it change so drastically. I am glad to hear that Mickey is not there anymore though.  When I ran the second time and I convinced my parents to take me out, they made me go to private counseling at her house.  What a joke.  Anyway, the first time I ran, I went home after a while and I got out of the shower in time for foster dads to sit on me and restrain me while I was naked in my parents house while my brother watched.  They are still having incidents and nothing can change the fact that at night when your locked in the room, noone knows what is going on.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Letter Writing Campaign
« on: October 11, 2002, 03:11:00 PM »
I just sent an email to that address.  If I get any response, I will post it.  I gave him the address of http://www.thestraights.com for more information.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Growing Together
« on: August 06, 2002, 12:54:00 PM »
First Phasers were called newcomers.  I remember people getting meds but when I had my wisdom teeth out on second phase they would not give me anything other than aspirin for pain. They did not ever drug test me, they just kept saying that I was full o shit until my drug list became a mile long and I had to confess it in open meeting.  I keep reading all the posts from everyone in straight and all of the other propgrams and it is amazing to see that we were the exact same thing.  We motivated, spent all hours in "the building" with no sunlight and were beltlooped.  Everything seems to be the same.  I recently came across an old COA phone list but I have been to chicken to call anyone.  I am trying to work up my nerve.  I was in for 11 1/2 months from 1993-1994 and I was pulled on fifth phase a few days before Christmas.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Growing Together
« on: June 24, 2002, 09:42:00 AM »
I was in Growning Together around 1993 -94.  I keep posting to see if anyone else was in there.  I guess I will just keep trying.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / stuttering
« on: June 12, 2002, 09:28:00 AM »
Severe Anxiety, have to take drugs occasionally to control panic attacks.

Trouble sleeping and the occasional nightmare.

Depression - Aren't we all

Still panicked about being locked up after being out for nine years.  In fact, I keep thinking they will find me through this website and come get me.  They can't.... right?

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / How Come?
« on: June 06, 2002, 12:22:00 PM »
In GT, there was a girl who had never done drugs, drank a sip of alcohol, smoked a cigarette or anything.  She just refused to go to school because the kids teased her.  I think she had been in there for over a year when I first started the program.  She had to say that she was a drug addict and an acoholic.  One therapist told me once that the only thing I suffered from was poor impulse control.  To me that sums it up for most teenagers.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / How Come?
« on: June 06, 2002, 10:44:00 AM »
How come in 11 1/2 months at Growing Together, everyday I had to admit that I was an acoholic and a drug addict?  How come I had only experimented with drugs before I got in and then when I got out I made a point to do every drug immaginable?  I even found a way to take pills in the program. How come I learned more about drugs in the program than I ever could have on my own. How come my parents thought they were helping and how come it just made things worse?  And how come now at the age of 26 I don't do drugs (because they don't agree with me anymore in my old age) and  how come I can drink whenever I want and not drink whenever I want.  So how come if I was an acoholic and a drug addict at the age of 16, how come I am not now?  Was I misdiagnosed?  How come we all figure what is right for ourselves over time anyway.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Anyone go to Growing Together
« on: May 31, 2002, 10:28:00 AM »
I have not kept in touch with anyone from there.  I am glad to have found this site though.  Hearing all of you all tlaking about your experiences helped me to rememeber mine.  I forgot all of those phrases like talking behind backs and MI's and all of that.  The picture of the kids motivating has still got me freaked out.  I guess I must have post traumatic stress disorder or something.  I will be around on this website I'm sure, for a long time to come.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Anyone go to Growing Together
« on: May 29, 2002, 01:59:00 PM »
I went to growing together in Lake Worth, Florida from 1992 through 1993.  There were a lot of people in there and I wouldn't mind finding out what happened to them.  My memory is foggy about the place (repression) but I can remember a few things.  I was pulled in the beginning of my 5th phase.

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