Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Well I don't think I know you, but holy s**t you've got my pic on your site...  With Pete, Cindy, Brooke etc... It must have been from when Pete and I first left, but I don't actually remember it being taken... how crazy! :eek:  
Thanks for the laughs and memories.

Paula

Hey Jeff, Good Point(s)!!

When someone dies, especially after leaving these treatments it becomes... almost critical to find answers, with the answers comes the peace and acceptance of death.  However, in finding those answers many people turn to their "loved one" in this case Brian, and put him on a pedestal, therefore negating his own personal responsibilities for his own life.  And in turn, everyone who didn't do what we (or society) deems as the "right" thing to have done is now blamed for their actions and the eventual death of our loved ones.  Hence Dean, AARC etc...  I guess what I am trying to say and what I think a lot of people are trying to express is this(this is just my opinion and what I am picking up on from these posts):  

- Loved one dies

- People look for answers to find peace and acceptance with there 'loss'

- They may turn inwards and place the blame on themselves -OR- they may look to place the blame elsewhere -OR- they may do both.  

- Grief and bereavment are probably the most painful and mind-fucking emotions to deal with.  

Facts are, with a suicide there are no answers (or very rarely anyway).  Brain wrote me a beautiful letter before he died and even with that I still wondered if there wasn't more that I could have done to 'save' him.  

This isn't a "fault" issue.  We lost a really great guy, and due to his upbringing and the events in his life he chose the road he did.  Not to hurt others, but to find his own peace.  I can't judge Brian for his decisions, I am not in his shoes.  But that also means we can't judge anyone else for their actions before Brian died, because we don't know HOW Brian perceived the actions of others before he died.  Thanks to technology and text books we can see that abuse can lead to people killing themselves (especially the abuse we have ALL incurred at the hands of some pretty sick and twisted individuals)but that is not ALWAYS the case.  Sometimes I look at all the people who have died either in or out of these programs and I wish for the life of me that I could have been inside their heads, just so that I knew what they were thinking when they did what they did, just so I had some answers...  somehow knowing what they were thinking might bring peace to those grieving their loss.

Take care all!

Paula          

[ This Message was edited by: Paula on 2003-01-03 15:43 ]

First of all, where in any of these posts does it say ANYWHERE, and I quote your(anonymous individual who twists around the meanings to these posts) words, "Vause is responsible for Brian's death."  I do not see that anywhere...  If you open your eyes and TRULY read what is being written you'ld understand that, but then you would also have nothing to harass people about...  

If anything these posts say that Brian went to Dean for help, Brian went to AA and NA for help, he also went to his family for help...  No where does it say that all (or any) of these people/resources killed Brian...
 
Bye

Heya All!
Glad to hear that so many of you have either moved on or are doing what it takes to put this KIDS mess behind us!!!  Jessica C. you have no idea how many times Heather and I have talked about you and your family, I am really glad you are all doing well.
Seeing as this is my first posting, I was in KIDS from 1989 to 1994 or 1995.  It seems like a zillion years since KIDS has been a part of my life, but after reading the BBS it seems as if only a few months have passed.  Larry and Erica, I am really happy that you two are finally together and happy!!!  I wish I had the time to say something to everyone, but I've gotta get ready for work.  
Take Care,
Paula Z.