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Messages - The Graduate

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1
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Are you really out of straight yet?
« on: August 19, 2005, 03:39:00 PM »
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On 2005-08-19 09:09:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I live in a very "Middle America" town. I am dead serious when I say people at the coffee shop know and understand. There are my friends. Everybody there loves me and wants to know my name and my perspective on things like the smell of White Rain shampoo and whether or not it was okay to have the small of your back touching the blue chair.  Maybe you haven't reached out for any friendships. What I did to meet these friends is something any one of you could do. I got a little spiral notebook, the kind that flips over at the top, about two inches by three inches. When I got the feeling that somebody could relate to me, I jotted down a little "I want to be friends with you" note. I gave the note to a neutral-looking third party. I used to have a lot of fears that people were spies and would just read the notes and not give them to the right person, even though I really wanted to make friends with people so I could talk about my past. I finally got over my fear, not by trying, but by doing.



Sometimes I come into the coffee shop and I just sit down and cry. That is always a mistake, because people are just falling all over themsleves, literally, to come and be the one to "relate" to me, tell me about a similar experience from their past and how they were working their you-know-whats to just be a real, normal, well-adjusted person. Everyone gathers around, and unlike in Straight, people often clap their hands after someone is done relating to me.



One time I got so frustrated I overturned the coffee table! But some people, the ones who really loved me, took it upon themselves to hold me down on the floor, even though their coffee was getting cold.



Maybe you don't believe "normal" people could or would do that. Sometimes all you gotta do is figure out how they act and act just like it. Don't get any weird expressions on your face in public, in other words. "


This has got to be a joke. I mean replace coffee shop with the word Straight and it makes more sense. The indirect contact with someone (newcomer vs oldcomer), people falling all over themselves to relate, or the holding of the others down on the floor.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / atlanta straight
« on: August 04, 2005, 10:46:00 AM »
Your not the only one. I was in the Atlanta program also.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / How in the hell did you guys take it?
« on: June 30, 2005, 10:54:00 AM »
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On 2005-06-30 06:10:00, OverLordd wrote:

"Great, thanks for the support...



Hehe  :razz: "


Overlordd people can be defensive about this subject b/c each one of us has been over the "what ifs" in our heads a million times. Straight and the humiliation is an open sore for some people here. Everyone of us wishes we would have done something differently there.

Oh, one person really didn't make much difference at Straight. Even the misbehavers were a temporary nuisance to the "Straight" machine. Their disturbances quickly slammed to the floor. If they continued they were taken to small 10x10 rooms. Or that is my opinion.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / How in the hell did you guys take it?
« on: June 29, 2005, 11:49:00 AM »
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On 2005-06-29 05:37:00, OverLordd wrote:

"
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I am angry right now cause I dont have the answers for myself but you have to have been there to really understand how we fought. Every little body in that place learned how to fight there. they made us fight eachother. oh and u really think u would want to kill other kids with a spork u maybe able to get one down but try 100 kids, cause thats how many u have to get down to get to freedom.



You have been through hell and back again, and I respect that so so much. If I have not made that clear to you guys I appolgize, I respect all of you more than you know, for what you have been through and the fact that your still here to tell others about it. One thing I dont understand, you read about riots at some of the current schools, all the students fighting back, why was there nothing like this at straight? Or was there? And about the spork thing... I would fight with my frists before I used one of those, hehe, spork.. its a funny word if you just think about it... spork... hehe  :rofl: So here is one question I guess it boils down to, why in the hell did other kids help keep you there, that is completely alien to me and I dont think I could understand.



P.S. Man stay away from the cults, you dont need them (to the anon)"




I went in at 14 and puny. I was 14 and was an intimidating 105 lbs. (maybe) and looking around at those guys and seeing how the much bigger fared on the concrete floor cured any violent urges I had. Those misbehaving kids got their asses kicked everyday, their food monitored, their sleep taken from them, and constantly watched. The way I saw it I had 4 years of hell or a year or 2 of playing the game as they wanted. Was it the "right" decision? That is an old debate here at this forum.

Remember Staff had years to perfect the divide and conquer rules and regulations we followed. So while it seems easy to think you would form strong bonds with someone and divise a plan together...it was close to impossible. First I changed homes everyday. We couldn't look at certain people or communicate freely. Nor did we have access to the mail or tv or radio. Oh and don't forget we were ^%$^&* exhausted. They kept us in the building sometimes over 12 hours...then we had homework (MI'S and newcomer crap to be done). So the clarity of thought wasn't there. Sleep deprivation will mess up your head. They knew that.

For the record I never believed what they told me. They never won that battle with me. I knew it was a bunch of lies. However to the outsider I was another "Successful Straightling". However I learned to trust nobody there.

Hope this serves as a little insight.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / 1984 by George Orwell
« on: May 25, 2005, 01:27:00 PM »
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On 2005-05-24 16:47:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I think about this book a lot, especially when watching the news or something. I always think that maybe we are subconciously making our idea of what our 'future' looks like, come true. 1984, Brave New World- self fulfilling prophecies?"


If you enjoyed 1984 try reading this other book called A Handmaid's Tale (I think-it might be titled the handmaid tale). I read it about 10 years ago and still think about it everytime I use a debit or credit card.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / 1984 by George Orwell
« on: May 24, 2005, 03:11:00 PM »
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On 2005-05-23 09:39:00, fka wrote:

"sorry, i forgot to post the link. they have the whole book online, plus a lot of other books.



http://www.online-literature.com/orwell/1984/1/"


Certainly the fact the 1984 can be read on-line would have given Orwell a chuckle.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Felony
« on: May 13, 2005, 10:07:00 AM »
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On 2005-05-12 14:10:00, Anonymous wrote:

"DUH if they find it you are out.  If you tell the truth to begin with you are not even considered.  What's to lose?



"


OK so I deserved the DUH. But what I was trying to say was that most people exaggerate or lie on their resumes. Some companies care enough to check some don't.

Good luck on Monday.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Felony
« on: May 12, 2005, 10:47:00 AM »
If your not going to disclose find out the companies policy on back ground checks. If you do not disclose and they do a background check and find it, your out automatically. (I used to do the hiring for a typical corporate america company) They wouldn't hire anyone if they found a discrepancy like that.

I imagine it's like your still pulling time. Everyone complains about the amount of tax money we pay to incarcerate people. Then we turn around and make it impossible for them to support themselves on the outside.

Then they have the nerve to complain about recidivism rates.

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The Troubled Teen Industry / Consequences: Teacher Send First Grader Home With Feces in B
« on: April 27, 2005, 03:42:00 PM »
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On 2005-04-27 12:34:00, The Liger wrote:

"But they sent her home with CRAP in her backpack.  CRAP.  Sent home.  In her back pack.  CRAP.
"


Actually I was commenting on the other story where the child was handcuffed...not the crap in the bookbag story. That is disgusting and I refuse to comment further on it.

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The Troubled Teen Industry / Consequences: Teacher Send First Grader Home With Feces in B
« on: April 27, 2005, 03:05:00 PM »
I saw the tape on the news also. The thing that  struck me was that the school superintendent in an interview said they contacted the girls Mother long before the police showed up and she said she wasn't available to come to the school right then. So basically the school was left to handle the problem. Personally I don't think she should now be "available" to sue the school system if she wasn't even willing to come get her daughter when called. The Mother stated there was an ongoing problem with the vice principal so why would she not come get her child when contacted? Why wait until now to switch schools? I have a feeling Mom wasn't so concerned until the press and the possibility of a lawsuit became involved.

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The Troubled Teen Industry / Cross Creek Manor - Report of abuse
« on: April 22, 2005, 02:20:00 PM »
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On 2005-04-22 10:03:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Oh come on... when were you ever told you that your parents dont love you and that you were a slut... that is bullshit and you know it."


Happened all the time in the Program I attended.
[ This Message was edited by: The Graduate on 2005-04-22 11:22 ]

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The Troubled Teen Industry / Cross Creek Manor - Report of abuse
« on: April 22, 2005, 10:16:00 AM »
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On 2005-04-21 13:25:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Well I spent 2 years there and was never abused.  News flash... they dont have locked doors anywhere in that facility to beat up kids. Isolation is another story.  You tell me what you would rather have.  An enraged kid that cares nothing for the persons around him trying to start a fight with other kids... or having this same kid in a room where no other kids can be hurt if he gets angry.  I have been restrained there... I never experienced as abusive though.  I fucking threw a table at a staff memeber... I think that constitutes in being subduded.  I dont care what "teens have rights" bullshit you come up with... the teens that are there around these other kids dont deserve to be subjeected to harm because someone gets mad. Thats what Isolation is for.  Any other non-results-based bullshit you want to put out there? :scared: "


Non-results-based bullshit huh? OK fair enough however I will ask you to look around these forums and tell me what "results" you see. Let's face it some of us are bitter some are thankful an some just plain whacked from the treatment we received. (Oh and from what I see the thankful are few in numbers and often extremely defensive and outright self righteous). So what does all that mean? Really I'm asking b/c from what I see only your opinion counts...please tell me what I should think...berate me with insults if I disagree...Oh I'm sorry I was starting to think I was in the Program again.

The ironic thing is the ones who scream the loudest about "move on with your life" "The program really helped me NEVER abused me" are the ones who sound so much like the staff members from my facility. However I'm sure this point will never sink in for some. If I'm really lucky someone will retort with that over played immature "opinions are like assholes" line.

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The Troubled Teen Industry / My Opinions
« on: April 07, 2005, 10:13:00 AM »
In response to your post Perrigaud,

I responded to both your post and the anonymous one together more for the sake of saving time than grouping you together. Unfortunately with the limited time I have to respond I think it is easy to misrepresent what I am trying to say.

As for my thoughts on alternatives to AA. I am a believer in personal responsibility. Which by the way is why I think AA works for some people. They choose to make changes in their lives. Some people use religion. Ironically people have been known to go cold turkey and never look back when they join cults. The point is all of these people have made personal decisions to make a change. I think as a whole we are very quick to see every person as in need of "help". Then there are those who just wake up and decide to change b/c they want to. I know AA speaks on the dry drunk syndrome. But honestly I think that is one thing that keeps people coming back.

I think people can make a decision and stick to it without the steps. I also know people can make the internal changes they deem necessary in their lives without admitting in public they have a problem. But I also know others who need the support of a peer group.

Oh one more thing I would like to say I know some drugs require detox and other professional methods to quit. I am not suggesting someone using heroine could wake up and decide to change their life and it is all dandy. But what I want to say is only they can decide what happens after detox...not the steps...not their church...to me those are the those are merely the devices that work for them in backing up their own want for change.

Oh anon...by my initial post I in no way implied T was incapable of defending herself. I merely posted an opinion. :roll:

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The Troubled Teen Industry / My Opinions
« on: April 06, 2005, 12:11:00 PM »
I'll be glad to mind my own business when you stop posting on a public forum.

You also said something about I don't know what a debate is...do me a favor stick to your opinions...you don't know me or what I do or do not know.

Of course AA doesn't work for everyone. Nothing is a blanket answer for all.

One more thing I wasn't actually disagreeing with you guys on all points so maybe it would help you to reread my post (as you suggested I do)also.

The worst part is you guys really can not fathom how anyone else perceives your posts. It immediately becomes mind your business, you don't know what a debate is, T can defend herself etc. If this is a debate you are right I do it differently.

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The Troubled Teen Industry / My Opinions
« on: April 05, 2005, 01:48:00 PM »
Actually a habit does not take that long to break. I know they call that a craving in AA. They are correct in that after just over a month it is no longer a habit. So to say people need AA for extended periods due to a habitual need for alcohol is untrue. (After that point it is probably purely in their head).

Now as for why does AA work for some...it is a question nobody can answer. You may have amusing little stories about this person or thats experience...But that doesn't make it fact.

My opinion AA is probably successful for some b/c they want it to be. Maybe it just is a good fit to their personality. Maybe the moon was in Venus the first meeting they ever attended...point is nobody knows so get off T's back b/c nobody has the magical answer only opinions.

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